Furious at football

[Razzataz]

My husband was a "semi professional" footballer before we met and after 3 years dating we moved in together and had our first child quite young at me 22 and him 24. Naturally over the years his football career sort of fizzled out and he packed it in.

We struggled for years to have our second child and were finally blessed in 2020 with our son. So we have a 10 year old and an almost 2 year old.

We both work full time and Contribute financially and time to the household, order and running of the house pretty much Evenly.

I would say it's a 60/40 split for house running though. He does chip in for sure but I do do the majority. Our salaries are similar and we both work very hard and often long hours.

Last august he got a message from an old team mate encouraging him to rejoin football - I was very very happy for him and encouraged him after pandemic and lockdown to get back to it to enjoy something for himself.

But now it's grating on me and I'm starting to get snappy with him and resent him.

He trains every Tuesday & Thursday evening and is gone every Saturday for the matches.

Since we both worth full time and older child's extra curricular takes up most week night evenings, the weekend is really our only time as a family together.

One of the weekend days (usually Sunday morning) is for sorting all of the washing and ironing and organising for the week ahead and a Sunday roast to end the week.

Saturday is our only actual time together - say to go swimming or to a museum or whatever as a family. And now we can't do anything as hes at football. We also only have one family car so it's not like I can take kids out myself and again starting to feel a little bit hemmed in.

I feel like I can't talk to him about it because I encouraged him and he does deserve "me time" but it's also taking the proverbial in my opinion that he has a whole Saturday carved out which then directly impacts the family.
His mum and dad and brothers also very happy he's back and go to watch him on Saturdays so feel like It's not my place to be the one to stop it.

What do you think? AIBU??? I know I probably am but aaaaarrrghhhhh

Maybe as others have said . Make Sunday your day out instead .rearrange the chores a little .have a roast Sat eve instead .if you can see if you can arrange an evening for you as well

I would do chores all together Saturday morning
He needs to leave the car and find another way to get there in the afternoon.
When he gets back at 5 maybe you could have Saturday evenings to do something for you? Go out with friends etc.
Sunday is family day. Drop the roast or make it a once a month thing.

YABU. It is only 5hrs on a Saturday.

He needs to either find a different way to get to the games so you have the car or take the DC and have his family mind them while he plays.
If the latter is not possible then Saturday morning needs to be your time for yourself while he minds the DC and does the chores. He can get up earlier if need be to get everything done. At the moment you are making all the sacrifices to allow him to play and I can’t see any he is making. .

Then Sunday is free for family time.

If his family like watching him on a Saturday, can’t they drive him so you can have the car?

I’d be absolutely furious about the amount of family time this takes.

I'd do your sorting day on a sat morning before he leaves-
Most of the chores on an evening you are both in.
Get a 2nd cheap car for him or make him get public transport/lift on a Saturday.
If he cant help out in the house as much, then he also pays for a cleaner 1x day a week.
And if you wanted time out in the week for hobbies , then do that for you too.
Re- work the balance with him

Surely the answers are:

1. You do the chores Saturday morning before he leaves. He can get up early to make sure his are finished

1. He takes public transport to football so you still have the car