I’m so fed up

[CrazyMama10]

It’s gonna sound petty I know but I need to vent.

I need a break. Just an hour. A hot bath with a beer.

My job is emotionally, mentally and physically tiring, the work pressures are mega at the moment and it’s exhausting. I work 4 days and my day off is so I can spend a day with son. Husband works week on week off.

I can’t keep up on all my house work- piles of washing, cleaning, tidying etc - everything is falling behind and the house is a tip. It’s doing my head in.

We hosted Christmas for 10 people for dinner and then an additional 6 on the evening. I arranged 95% - the gifts,wrapping,shopping,dinner prep,tree/decorations and all the other shit that comes with Christmas. I took all the decorations down myself.

Husband mums 60th birthday a week ago - I arranged the gifts, the cards, the cake, the decorations, balloons, decorated the party venue alone and then turned up to the party 45 mins late (husband and toddler went on time) as I didn’t get home in time to get ready. No thank you from husband for arranging it all, getting stressed and trying to do everything with a 2 year old with me.

I do the weekly meal plan, food shop and most of the cooking. Most of the cleaning and washing. Husband does a weekly clean of the kitchen, utility, hall and downstairs loo. I arrange all the childcare for the week/month.

I’ve missed a meal out with the girls this week as husband had a bad day so stayed to sort toddler out and put him to bed - too late to go by the time I was done. They arranged a night tonight for a few drinks and a game of bowling. My husband isn’t well (aches and pains, headache, no energy etc) negative lateral flow for us both! Now I’m missing tonight too as I feel bad if I go.

I’m neglecting myself and my needs and I look gross. Hair is always greasy, skin is awful, diet isn’t too good as I always just grab stuff on the go.

I feel alone, I explained to husband today that I feel sad and down. He ignored me and continued to watch the football.

AIBU to think I need a little more support? Everyone I mention it I get turned into the bad guy.

He works a week on and a week off? He should be doing more then. YANBU.

Go out. He's a twat.

So many people on here with lazy useless husbands! Just stop doing it all OP. Tell dh he's going to pull his weight. Stop doing his washing, doing all the cooking, being responsible for organizing all the social events. Tell him Christmas is down to him next year. If he doesn't pull his finger out, he's toast!

Is he always ill when he is supposed to watch his own child?

Two things...

1.) You obviously need more input from your DH

2.) You obviously need to stop biting off more than you can chew.

Is there any good reason at all, why you decided to take on entertaining SIXTEEN people at Christmas?

And as for taking on your MIL's birthday and all it involved, just why??

Husband mums 60th birthday a week ago - I arranged the gifts, the cards, the cake, the decorations, balloons, decorated the party venue alone and then turned up to the party 45 mins late (husband and toddler went on time) as I didn’t get home in time to get ready. No thank you from husband for arranging it all, getting stressed and trying to do everything with a 2 year old with me.

Why did you do all of this? It's his mum- he should have sorted it all out. Step back from buying gifts for his family. Would he arrange a party for your mum?

If he works week on/ week off why isn't he doing more? You need to sit down and share the house/ cooking/ childcare equally.

Your burnt out from Christmas

Why would you do all of that stuff? How would it feel if you just stopped doing some of it?

I’m neglecting myself and my needs and I look gross. Hair is always greasy, skin is awful, diet isn’t too good as I always just grab stuff on the go.

Ranting is not going to change this.

Why did you do all of this? It's his mum- he should have sorted it all out. Step back from buying gifts for his family. Would he arrange a party for your mum?

This. It's bonkers.

Get yourself a nice soak in the bath , do your hair and make up and go out - fuck him

Err. Why are you doing everything?

Get in the shower. Then go out and meet your friends. Unless you are actually ill in which case go to bed.

On his week off he should obviously be doing all cooking and cleaning

Get a beer, run a bath and sit in the bath with a beer, and go out before you burn out.

Millions of single parents looks after kids feeling rough myself included. They can watch a film or TV or something in bed if need be and get a takeaway.

He does sound very lazy and selfish.

Your husband is a lazy sod who needs to pull his finger out.

Stop doing everything. Why on earth are you arranging celebrations for your MIL? That's not your responsibility.

Twice now, you have arranged to go out and your husband is "ill"

Stop doing his shit for him and put yourself first. Have a quick bath or shower and go out

Oh and you are niether petty or unreasonable. Your husband sounds utterly useless and like he could not give a shit about you or what you needs.

You don't have to live like this. You weren't put on this earth to slave for other people

@needmoreshinys Very convenient illness for the man who clearly just doesn't want to look after his own child. Men like this make me ill

I would bet that your husband isn't in the least ill. Just get ready and go out, you will feel much better for it.

What Worra said. Expect more. A weekly clean?! He does nothing for a week and he’s not sorting housework, food, childcare? Why the fuck not?

And don’t take on anything extra if you’re already struggling. That makes you a mug. No one appreciates it so just stop.

Oh hon there's nothing wrong with him, go out, he can put LO to bed then do what he likes, enjoy yourself xx

Why do you take so much stuff on?
Anyway I think you should consider doing Fly Lady to keep your house nice and clean.

Go out now, even if it’s to the cinema or for a meal by yourself. He sounds like a lazy ungrateful sod.
Start by booking in me time and stick to it.
Yep to pull his finger out. If he doesn’t, stop cooking for him, stop doing his washing etc

So on the week he doesn’t work he picks up the household chores

And stop doing presents for his family, he can

I agree with everyone else.

Why ?

Why are you doing all those things, when your dh has a WHOLE WEEK OFF every fortnight ?

Why are you setting yourself up to be disappointed. His relatives, his responsibility. The more you take on the more is expected. Delegate some of the effort.

[quote CrumpetStrumpet]@needmoreshinys Very convenient illness for the man who clearly just doesn't want to look after his own child. Men like this make me ill[/quote]
Isn't it just