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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary school unauthorised absence?

78 replies

wombleflump · 07/01/2022 09:54

AIBU my DC started school during the pandemic and now in year one. Due to the chaos of school closing and rules I have been relaxed about things. Unfortunately my DC has a vomiting bug the week before Christmas and had to miss her last week including the play etc. She was upset about this but she was literally throwing up everywhere! So anyway the school announces after the new year that I need to produce a doctors note, appointment letter or prescription medicine otherwise the absence is unauthorised as was five days before the end of term. This is the first I heard of it.
Should I have know about it?
Obviously she doesn’t and didn’t need any of this evidence for DV.
They told me not to bring her in when I called in entered it on the app!
Am I being AIBU?
Now I feel a bit rubbish about it.

OP posts:
NewMessageFrom · 07/01/2022 09:55

Due to the chaos of school closing and rules I have been relaxed about things

what does this mean?

Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 09:56

Can the school make this unauthorised when I called everyday she was sick? She was sick? How can they suggest she has evidence she can’t have. GPS are not interested in seeing children for self limiting childhood illness during a pandemic!

OP posts:
Charmatt · 07/01/2022 09:58

It sounds like your child's attendance has dropped below the threshold for persistent absence (90%). They now want proof she is ill to authorise it.

Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 09:59

I never even thought it would be a issue. I think she had one other single day off for sickness last term. She is sometimes five minutes late and this is my fault because her younger sibling has tantrums won’t get dressed and has to be bribed etc to get to nursery. The traffic is unpredictable driving. I know I am guilty of this and have made it my resolution not to be late!

OP posts:
Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 10:00

She has only had one other day.
This five days vomiting.
The only thing I can think of is the five minutes late but no one ever said anything!

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 07/01/2022 10:03

It doesn't really matter. Unless they are fining you over it (which I doubt) its just unauthorised days on her end of year report. Don't worry about it.

Lacedwithgrace · 07/01/2022 10:03

Being 5 minutes late regularly could be their main cause of concern. If they think you're not bothered about getting her in on time they'll be more likely to think you've kept her off for fun.

alphabetsoup1980 · 07/01/2022 10:04

They can't do that!! Put it in writing about the circumstances and the reasons why you don't have a doctors note. Are these new rules that they've enforced after new year? If so, they can't really backdate it!? Find out who the chair of govs is and ask for them to be cc in to any correspondence. Their job is holding both supporting schools but also holding them to account.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to the head in person, put it down in an email so there is a paper trail.

Ask to see a copy of their school absence policy also. My daughter was off with DV and they took my word for it and wished her well! They sound very dickish tbh xxx

Whinge · 07/01/2022 10:06

@Lacedwithgrace

Being 5 minutes late regularly could be their main cause of concern. If they think you're not bothered about getting her in on time they'll be more likely to think you've kept her off for fun.
I think this is a good point.

Also you says vomiting for 5 days, that's a long time to be unwell without seeking medical advice. Was it 5 days of being sick, or she was sick and then had to miss a few extra days because of the 48 hour rule?

popcorndiva · 07/01/2022 10:07

It was because it was the end of term so it looks like you have gone on holiday or something.

You are probably on their radar due to the constant lateness anyway as it raises red flags

Theyellowflamingo · 07/01/2022 10:09

It’ll be because it’s tagged onto the holidays and five days is quite long for a sick bug - it looks suspicious. But there is no way my GP would provide any such evidence, they have a big poster on the door saying as much and that schools will just have to lump it. I’d just write and say you can’t supply such evidence, it’s not possible to in future, can they confirm next time they want a child with d&v to come to school if that’s the case. They’ll backtrack.

You need to stop being “relaxed” though about things and take your child’s lateness far more seriously- not fair on her or the school for you to be so casual about it. Younger sibling needs to be firmly dealt with or in extremis put in the car in their pyjamas but your school age child needs to be at school on time. Many many other families with younger siblings manage it.

DixonD · 07/01/2022 10:10

@wombleflump

Can the school make this unauthorised when I called everyday she was sick? She was sick? How can they suggest she has evidence she can’t have. GPS are not interested in seeing children for self limiting childhood illness during a pandemic!
My daughter had the same and was off six school days. The GP was happy to see her. Sickness bugs usually only last 24-48 hours, so a week raises suspicion. I took mine to the GP because of how long it was going on for - why didn’t you at least ring them?
Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 10:11

Well now I feel concerned that they have been making a issue out of five minutes late. I guess I can’t do much about that now. It’s such a nightmare with her sibling. He hates nursery. He is a handful and difficult about being taken to nursery getting in the car in the morning!

OP posts:
Charmatt · 07/01/2022 10:13

5 days off vomiting would warrant a GP appointment. Even if it was 3 days vomiting plus 48 hours then that's too long not to seek a doctor's opinion.

Your daughter should be back in school as soon as she is well and the isolation period has passed. Even if there is only one day left until the end of term.

I agree it looks suspicious tagged on to a holiday.

Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 10:13

I know it’s difficult to man handle her sibling because he is big and we live in a flat so difficult to carry. The lateness is probably my fault. Also the vomiting is a gastric flu type thing. I knew
She
Didn’t need to see a GP

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 07/01/2022 10:14

School are unreasonable to drop this on you now 3-4 weeks later as clearly even if seeing a GP was an option it isn't something you can backdate. TBH you are right and even if you'd k ow this was going to be requested the GP would not have seen your child or written them any kind of sick note for school - they are not required to. Our GP surgery got quite irritated about this able years back and wrote to the schools concerned and told them to stop wasting GP time!!

Why it's happening and going forward, you need to keep your child in school. Anything less than 98% attendance flags issues - particularly if it is a day here a day there. Last school year absence wasn't counted - and you child would have been under compulsory school age for some/all of it anyway. This year absence targets are back and schools need to get their absenses up. Sadly 10 days isolation with covid drops attendance massively so schools have to get tighter elsewhere.

(Did you know a school automatically fails ofsted it attendance is below a certain rating - and a failed ofsted means being forced into an academy trust? Nightmare for school governance!)

In your situation I would simply write back and say that the child had a vomiting bug from x date to x date. That you reported to school each day that she would not be in - screen shot any evidence of doing this from call logs/the app etc. That the child wasn't sick enough for a GP or hospital visit therefore you ha e no other evidence. And leave it at that They would much rather mark her down as sick than unauthorised but might have a welfare bod from the Local Authority telling them they can't. And if that is the case then so be it. It will only impact you if you plan to take her out of school for a holidays or something later in the year.

Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 10:15

It want suspicious they told me not to bring her
.
I was going to but she kept on being sick.
You don’t need to see a GP for self limiting illnesses under 7 days as a adult. What was a GP going to do over the phone if they even had time to call!

OP posts:
Whinge · 07/01/2022 10:16

Also the vomiting is a gastric flu type thing. I knew She Didn’t need to see a GP

If she was vomiting for 5 days she needed to see a GP or seek medical advice.

mumofmunchkin · 07/01/2022 10:16

They are probably being suspicious because she was off for the last week of term (so had 3 weeks off for christmas) and that you were going on holiday or pulling her for the last week because you didn't want covid over Christmas. All you can do is explain exactly what you have here, that the illness she had wasn't dr worthy. If it goes down as unauthorised absence then don't worry about it though, it's just a different box ticked on her attendance record.

Cocomarine · 07/01/2022 10:17

Why are you saying the lateness is “probably” your fault?
It absolutely is your fault.
You sound a bit too “relaxed” and that’s probably what they’ve picked up on.

Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 10:19

Wasn’t suspicious.
I did write back asking if they could mark her as sick on this occasion as I want aware of the policy and had called every day etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 10:29

Yes well I’ll just have to do better going forward. I can’t turn back the clock re not being on time every day! I’m not excusing myself but it’s just been awfull time recently. I’m trying to relocate and going through a court case and wfh full time. My youngest DC is a handful and really hates nursery. I have to drag him in kicking and screaming. I’my only trying to keep my head above water we had a rubbish lonely Christmas stuck where we are. I got Covid in new year. I’m
Completely alone with no family support thanks to family court and abusive ex. I stay up late working into the night to support kids with no help.

OP posts:
SpiderinaWingMirror · 07/01/2022 10:32

Bounce it right back.
You don't take a child with D and V to school.
You can't get a fit note for a young child from a doctor at the best of times. Our doctor has a sign up about this.
You do not agree with it being unauthorised. You followed their procedures.

Original poster
wombleflump · 07/01/2022 10:32

I suppose I am naive as I wasn’t aware they were so closely monitoring and ticking everything off! I have a senior job with a lot of give and take on both sides. I guess maybe have been too relaxed and will just change going forward I can’t do anything about the past now. I would never take her out for a holiday etc. I am planning to relocate in the spring though a year and half later than planned!

OP posts:
RoarySaury · 07/01/2022 10:33

If a child is vomiting once / twice a day but otherwise keeping fluids (and food) down, and not showing signs of dehydration, they do not need to see a GP.

OP - agree the repeated lateness may be the bigger concern. I would just raise with the unauthorised absence why you were not informed at the time as it's made it impossible for you to now act retroscpetivley.