TMI alert
5 years ago I had DS, and I whilst I got a gorgeous little boy I also got haemorrhoids. A lot of them. I was told they would go away by themselves. They didn’t and after a few months of tolerating painful and very large piles I went to the GP.
Since then it’s been a bloody nightmare. Initially fobbed off as “They’ll go away on their own”. I was also told haemorrhoids didn’t hurt (ha!), that if I just changed my diet they’d pop back up, that if I bathed in witch hazel they’d disappear etc. by the time DS was 18 months old not only were the old ones there but I’d grown new ones.
Was referred to colorectal unit. Who attempted to push them back up (they came out again two minutes later), had some VERY painful bandying done 3 times where essentially I was sodomised with a machine that put a rubber band by the base of them and in theory they’d drop off. They didn’t. By the time DS was 3, I was told they were prolapsed, and essentially dead, which is why bandying didn’t work. I was told the only option was surgery - which the colorectal surgeon wasn’t willing to do because “you can live with heamorrhoids, to give you surgery would be like giving someone a nose job on the NHS”.
At this point, they’re still painful, bleeding all the time, going to the toilet is a nightmare as it’s painful and VERY messy. Again I was told haemorrhoids shouldn’t be painful and was I not exaggerating? I was told women have many side affects of child birth and that’s how the cookie crumbles. I was told that maybe if I changed the diet (I’d already changed it) and took my time on the toilet maybe they’d go back in (despite being essentially ‘dead’).
I fought so hard for a new colorectal consultant. I said I’m in pain all the time, this is not a normal child birth injury and I’m being gaslighted, ignored and told to put up with it because apparently all they think I’m interested in is having an arsehole that looks pretty. I made angry phone calls, wrote letters, complaints, the lot. My lovely new consultant said he’d recommend me for surgery - wahey!! But he also said that he’d have to apply for funding and make a REALLY good case as apparently postnatal (5 years!) haemorrhoid removal - even when the patient is in pain - is indeed considered ‘cosmetic surgery’.
Have been on a waiting list since last summer, I was written to over Christmas to ask if I still wanted the surgery (a generic letter that presumably went to all patients on waiting lists). I replied yes but took it as a sign that I’d be spending years again wincing as I sit or sneakily trying to hide my rubber ring at work.
Got the call today - they have a cancellation and I’m going in next week - I’m so happy!!! FINALLY I can sit down pain free. I’m so accustomed to lying now rather than sitting, standing eating my food and trying to avoid places like cinemas that I can’t believe I can have a normal life again!
I think us women should generally be more self congratulatory, and so I’m really proud of myself for fighting for this, not giving up and not being afraid to look like a ‘Karen’ (bleurgh hate that term) and knowing that I deserve to not be in pain!
We all know there’s an enormous gap in women’s healthcare, not least proven by the fact a male colleague had similar surgery after just six months (apparently this was affecting his quality of life - which I’m sure it was but FFS be consistent). Women are sadly seen as vessels to grow babies, and once the baby growing is done, if the vessel is broken, ah well it’s done it’s job. The message the last 5 years is “oh it’s because you had a baby” like it’s a catch-all reason to deny appropriate healthcare. Like I should be so elated to be a mother that I shouldn’t bother them with problems such as being in pain.
So please feel free to blow smoke up my lumpy (soon to be liberated) bottom as I’m feeling pretty damn chuffed in a world where there’s not much to feel chuffed about!