Is anyone around, finding things v. difficult

[Namechange7878]

No big life event just ground down by difficult marriage and child with additional needs and finding the night scary and long. Is anyone there to talk to about anything to get through it.

Hi, I'm here! Sorry to hear you're feeling like that.

I don't sleep much so I'm just going to put the dogs out for a pee then will go to bed.

It's the most beautiful frosty night here. I sometimes hear owls at this time of night, it always makes me feel really safe and cosy, for some daft reason! What can you hear where you are?

Do you have any hot chocolate? Or could you have hot milk and honey? Something like that always helps me to sleep, it's so warm and filling.

I'll be awake for a wee while anyway if you want to chat, tell me about your day, your favourite food, or whatever.

Hi Op,

Sorry to hear your feeling like this.

I am here for a brief moment. I got too hungry in bed and went to get toast. I am now trying to find a new book to read.

Do you want to talk more about why your feeling this way or do you want a chat to take your mind off?

Thanks for replying both. I'm just so desperate.

I love the sound of owls. I can hear deer and foxes here. There are no street lights but lots of shooting stars this week. I walk up and down the lane in the middle of the night sometimes but it's too icy tonight. A good book would be good if I wasn't so desperate. I was given some books about nature for Christmas. I know it's bad when those things don't help. I can't drink anything as then my sleeping tablet won't work but can't take that in this state.

I don't even know exactly how I got to be in such a dark place.

I'm wakeful and feel the same. Very difficult Christmas with covid in the house and so no contact with family or friends and boys couldn't go to their dads. We are negative now so xh has boys finally so I'm now totally alone which is sort of nice to have a break but my kids are teens so it's not like they need much normally. I work from home, sleep too much and my bedroom feels like a prison cell. I hate the nights. I think I'm going to scoop out the leftover couple of avocados from Christmas and find the full fat coke that I think is in the fridge. Night time hugs all.

@Namechange7878 I too have a child with additional needs so I know how the nights can be long at times as we lie awake worrying . When this happens to me I do some deep breathing to try calm myself or distract myself with Mumsnet or a podcast . Everything seems worse in the middle of the night . It will be morning soon x

Feel free to get your feelings down here OP, I'll be around. Sorry you are struggling x

I'm sorry you have troubles too peppermint and naturally. Christmas seems to magnify tensions.

I'm on hold with the Samaritans. Quite honestly I just don't know what could be said that could help but breathing exercises sound good.

Owls are lovely aren't they! One of my favourite animals.

It is absolutely freezing tonight.

An odd thing I do if I cant sleep sometimes is watch youtube videos of soap pouring. Its a very strange pastime but I find it very therapeutic.

If you have an ipad you can turn down the white & blue levels on the accessibility settings; as well as the usual screen brightness. This is much better for your eyes in bed and will let you fall asleep.

It's good that you're seeking help from Samaritans. I had a meltdown last week and locked myself in the toliet and just ranted and cried to one of my friends (who I'd not actually spoken to in years but she was a bit worried about me which was unexpected but lovely). I felt wretched but it did pass. Things feel insurmountable at this time of night. Are you still on hold?

I was on hold for half an hour, blethered for two minutes and then got cut off. It didn't seem like it was going to be very helpful,I just feel past the point where chatting would be helpful.

Thank you for the soap pouring advice. I like the drawings made out of shapes on Instagram.

It's lovely to have friends to speak to, I do remember I used to have them and it was a comfort. I don't know why I no longer have any. Too much faking it seemed too hard I think and my DD found it stressful to be expected to play with other children.

This is just awful.

In a few hours it will be light - that is what I hold on to when the nights are a bit 'tricky'.

Keep talking here OP. I know it's easy to feel like friends are too much trouble when life is hard and talking seems pointless. Is your partner around at all? Do they know you are this upset?

Another one here with a child with additional needs who understands how overwhelming it can all feel. I'm really sorry you're having such a tough time of it, OP. Headed to bed this end soon but just wanted to offer you a handhold,

You've probably heard of this before, but this can help if you're feeling really overwhelmed or panicky;

Try to find somewhere you can sit comfortably and quietly, and then try to find 5 things you can see (your hands, a painting, the sky, etc), 4 things you can touch or physically feel (your feet on the ground, a rug, soft bedding), 3 things you can hear (road noise outside, trees blowing in the wind, your breathing), 2 things you can smell (soap, fresh cut grass) and 1 thing you can taste (fresh air, gum, coffee). It can help redirect your mind to the present and away from everything that's making you feel down or anxious. Don't know if that helps at all, but I hope it does. Sending you a big hug

Hi OP, I’m here too and I’m sorry to read that it’s so very dark where you are now. We’ve all been there, precariously stranding at the gaping entrance of a wide, bottomless abyss and it can be a bit frightening. How can we help pull you back?
What was the last nice thing you enjoyed doing or reading or watching, OP? Can you do that now?

Hi @Namechange7878. How are you doing now? Would it help to write everything down in an email to the samaritans? Response time is 24 hours but just writing it may help. Sending . These dark hours are so hard.

Here with you too.
It's dark and cold and tonight it is icy too. But morning will break and it will be light.
I've just got my 1 year old back to sleep.
Thinking about the deep problems my sister has and the black wave she is battling. It will be OK.
Do you have a hot water bottle? For the cold. I always find it a comfort even in summer some times

This might sound odd but I find Rube Goldberg machines and domino rallies on YouTube quite helpful. They are soothing but also engage/distract your brain a little bit.

Yes I've been in the dark place before. Do you have any thing that usually helps? I learnt to meditate which helps mea lot. I like guided meditations. Also reading if I can't sleep tyres me out. During the day exercise and yoga are good. Do you talk to friends/family in the day. ?

Hi. I think we 'spoke' fairly recently?!?! I've just name changed though

A million years ago I had a break up that broke my heart, I rang the Samaritans ... 'go outside & smell the roses' was the best they could manage. 🙄🙄

If it's too icy to go out to walk up & down the lane, how about just standing outside or even in the doorway? I find breathing in fresh air really helps.

One thing to remember is that this is 'just a feeling' and feelings can't actually DO anything. They might be horrible, but they will change 💁🏻‍♀️

I was barely able to stay awake early this evening, but I was waiting for a phone call, so made myself stay awake...the phone call never came & went past being sleepy 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

John Campbell on YouTube is a nice bloke &!explains 'covid' issues really well, but he has a very soporific voice, so I often put one of his 'talks'on when I can't sleep and he sends me off to sleep.

@GraceTime’s post has reminded me of sensory things to help. For example I might clean my teeth really well, splash my face and hands with very cold water, or eat something really crunchy. Anything to just ground you and get you a few moments further on.

Put my daughter in the cot. Popped to the loo. Feet cold from the bathroom floor.
OP, are you watching the soap YouTube? Or domino rallies?

You there OP? I woke up with my head full of stuff so decided to get up rather than try to to get back to sleep. Kettle boiled so just making a drink but I'm here.

My partner knows I'm upset, yes. It doesn't seem to register.

I'll try the sensory exercises thanks.

The last thing I did that I enjoyed was walking in the woods and saw some deer. They ran altogether like a liquid, with leaps like a stream flowing.

I really appreciate knowing I'm not alone.

Hey OP. Yes, I'm in a similar frame of mind too at the mo. I think the start of new year is the very worst time, when everyone's going to be at their lowest, so you certainly aren't alone. But you can tell yourself 'This is as bad as it gets, the evenings are already getting lighter and spring is coming'. I agree with either opening a window and doing some deep breathing or stepping outside and looking up at the stars. Also let yourself have a cry! Honestly, crying when you need to is fantastic for actually making you feel better and helping you re-settle.