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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at HCW bashing during covid?

46 replies

outbackjulie · 06/01/2022 00:33

On this Australian site there is a thread about "why are some nurses so awful". I know the post isn't about me but as a nurse of fifteen years who is as burned out as any of my colleagues, AIBU to think it's very poor form to even pose the question at the moment?

And it's not just there, it's here on MN and on other sites I visit. I get that people remember their bad experiences much more clearly than the good but FFS give us a break. For every nasty bully there are thousands of wonderful people doing their best.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 06/01/2022 00:35

No, it's never poor form to pose a question if you genuinely feel you have a reason to do so.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 06/01/2022 00:37

Well.. I think that the use of the word “some” means you are being unreasonable I’m afraid. There are also some awful teachers / social workers / engineers / baristas, same as any other profession.

DropYourSword · 06/01/2022 00:40

They’ve said “some”. It’s very true. There are some wonderful nurses, doctors, midwives. And there are some truly shit ones.
If it doesn’t apply to you then...it doesn’t apply to you.

JimCarreysMask · 06/01/2022 03:34

While it’s probably not nice for you to read I think it’s fair for people to vent even now, about hcw etc. It’s a position of trust and when you are let down by someone you have put trust in it’s a lot worse. So bad service in a shop for example is easy looked over in comparison to someone you trust with your healthcare not doing their job right. I have had horrific experiences this past couple of years with healthcare professionals and pandemic or not they will not get a pass from me for neglecting their responsibilities etc. While I will never tar everyone with the same brush and feel bad for the ones doing their best, it’s not the good ones I’m referring to so I don’t feel guilty. It’s maybe a bit of backlash to the attitude that nobody is allowed to complain about their healthcare just now because of covid, where in many cases it’s entirely justified and things are being swept under the carpet. If you know you are doing your best and can hold your head high then gloss over it, it’s obv not aimed at you.

ToManySnacks · 06/01/2022 03:36

Iv come across roughly the same amount of good and bad nurses

The post wasnt about you,
No need to get annoyed about it

There are good and bad in every single job

Sparklfairy · 06/01/2022 04:21

I've been watching 24hrs in A&E (I know, late to the party with that) and if anything it's the patients that can be awful! One I saw recently spying an empty bed and demanding it immediately as 'the chair is comfortable', then demanding a list of available sandwiches with 'i don't want you bringing me something i don't like' etc etc, taking up the nurse's time unnecessarily. But the nurse made a good point, that patients in hospital are scared, stressed, worried, and that can be directed at the HCWs. Similarly when I've been in hospital I've had stroppy nurses or ones that have to stab me in 72 places to get a canula in when a different nurse will get it first time. I think we all could do well to remember that everyone is trying their best with the cards they are dealt at that moment.

Also, ask anyone in a 'customer' facing role. Cashiers, waiters/waitresesses, call centre staff. They will all tell you that the general public are, in the main, wankers Smile

Sparklfairy · 06/01/2022 04:21

Chair is UNcomfortable obviously!

Ghostofchristmaspasty · 06/01/2022 06:03

Haven't read the thread you linked too but as a HCP Working in the NHS, I agree it burns when you see criticism.

There are people in every job who aren't good at their jobs. There are also lots of people trying their best in a system which sets you up to fail. There is rarely recognition of the complexity and pressures of modern healthcare. It's a physically, mentally and emotionally demanding job. I often come home with nothing left to give after working a 12 hour shift ( often hours of overtime to meet the minimal legal requirement for notes etc).

Some of us put their heart and soul into the job and it can feel like you are personally being attacked.

Sleepyblueocean · 06/01/2022 06:05

I think it is reasonable to let people vent about their own experiences. My sister is a nurse and she has made comments to me about a few people she works with.

WoodenReindeer · 06/01/2022 06:10

Whats wrong with asking for a list of sandwhiches? When my mum was in hospital and couldn't walk it was horrible - she didnt have any food the day she was admitted. She also would go withiut rather than eat something ahe didn't like. It really is important to remember how vulnerable people are in hospital, and how important regular meals are, especially when unwell. Usually when admitted there is a choice of meals and you tick which ones you want.

Otherwise I agree with OP in general about media and nurses etc!

MaudebeGonne · 06/01/2022 06:15

I'm a HCW an a backlash against all this "Frontline Hero" stuff was inevitable. However, if you work in Healthcare, in any sort of hospital anywhere and you honestly can say that you have never seen any examples of poor care from a colleague, then I don't think you are being honest. Yes, there are colleagues who might have a bad shift where they can't perform to the expected standards due to ward activity or other pressures that day, but there are also some who are burnt out and who should not be seeing patients. It is good to show professional loyalty, but that should come AFTER we show loyalty to the vulnerable people in our care. Some patients and their families have unrealistic expectations of what they can expect when they are in hospital, but the onus is on us to have more patient representatives involved at all levels and to communicate better.

The system is far for perfect, however well intentioned the majority of the workforce are. If we can't be honest about the failings even to ourselves, how on earth are we ever going to improve things.

BlueRoseInBloom · 06/01/2022 06:17

There are many dedicated competent caring wonderful HCW out there.

Most nurses I have met are amazing at their jobs and lovely people too.
A joy and a comfort to have experience of, mostly.

There's also downright neglectful, nasty and even abusive ones too.

Do you think it right that the bad ones get a pass, even if their neglect injures or even kills patients, because of the good work put in by the great ones.

That's just a weird notion. Nobody in any other walk of life gets away with shitty behaviour because someone else, who is in the same vein, does not repeat that same shitty behaviour.

Sparklfairy · 06/01/2022 06:19

@WoodenReindeer sorry I didnt explain it very well. He had a real attitude, demanded she go and make a list of what was there rather than just listen and say x y or z is fine. He was happy to interrupt her clearly rushing around and have her going back and forth to the sandwiches with his "order" and various refusals. Then opened the sandwich, peered at it and got his girlfriend to pick out the "leaf" then shouted at her because too much of the filling was attached to it Grin you get the idea!

countrygirl99 · 06/01/2022 07:18

Maybe they were talking about theone eho, having not read dad's notes, phoned mum to tell her shouting dad's discharge. Mum has dementia, hence the notes say all updates to DB. Mum got very confused snd distressed and thought dad had died. When this was pointed out she said she didn't know why she was confused it was a simple update, no apology It wasn't simple and this was a nurse on a ward specialising in elderly issues so you would have expected an understanding of alzheimers.

countrygirl99 · 06/01/2022 07:20

Sorry for the typos. Her attitude still gets to me and dad is back on that word again with no visitors.

Ducksareruiningmypatio · 06/01/2022 07:42

@ToManySnacks

Iv come across roughly the same amount of good and bad nurses

The post wasnt about you,
No need to get annoyed about it

There are good and bad in every single job

This, I've been treated very cruelly when at my most vulnerable. Of course I'm going to find it very difficult to trust HCW's I remember one nurse that treated me kindly. She shouldn't stick out!
Original poster
outbackjulie · 06/01/2022 08:03

Thanks for all the replies. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but it does seem like a bit of a kick in the guts.

OP posts:
TabithaTittlemouse · 06/01/2022 08:10

I think we all take things like this personally at times but you know if you are a good person or not.
We got put on a pedestal and the only way off was a fall.
I’ve got great colleagues but I’ve got awful ones too, ones that couldn’t care less about their patients but it’s the same in any job.

WorraLiberty · 06/01/2022 10:50

@outbackjulie

Thanks for all the replies. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but it does seem like a bit of a kick in the guts.
You're pissed off at the wrong people though surely?

Why not be pissed off at the actual HCWs who have treated patients/families so poorly?

No-one's kicking you in the guts, but I imagine poorly treated patients very much feel as though they have been.

JimCarreysMask · 06/01/2022 12:44

@outbackjulie many of us take things personally when we shouldn’t. Take it to mean you’re one of the good ones. If you were one of the bad ones, you probably wouldn’t care so much.

Viviennemary · 06/01/2022 12:51

I havent had good experiences with nurses. One or two nice helpful ones but they are few and far between. So people can only judge by their own experiences.

Welshmaenad · 06/01/2022 17:02

Try being a social worker at the moment.

Some nurses are awful. Some social workers are awful. I don't take these general discussions personally, not do I do the job I do for acclaim and public adoration. It's just the nature of working in a public facing role, people will have (sometimes misinformed, sometimes biased) opinions on what you do. Meh.

RedBonnet · 06/01/2022 17:22

I guess folk are more shocked by a horrid hcws because it's seen as a caring profession, so not the type of job to choose if you're not a caring person. Whereas a horrid window cleaner is no real issue.

BurbageBrook · 06/01/2022 17:25

I don’t think any profession is beyond reproach. I used to be a teacher, it doesn’t bother me if people complain about some teachers. If they complained about all of them obviously that would be different but the title is clearly not about all HCWs.

BurbageBrook · 06/01/2022 17:26

And also, when I was a teacher, I knew some colleagues (not many) who I didn’t think were great at their job and not necessarily the best for the kids. Every job has its not-so-good workers. Have you genuinely never met a colleague you thought wasn’t great?