Nurses with a needle phobia

[PhilInt]

I'd like a sanity check please to see if my thinking is faulty. My sister is dating this guy who is a nurse. He told her yesterday that he is scared of needles and when she asked about how he was able to inject other people, he said that it didn't bother him as it wasn't happening to him.

My AIBU is: doesn't that show a lack of empathy?

So YABU = it's not a sign of a lack of empathy

YANBU = tell her to run a mile

This might be the dumbest logic I’ve ever heard

YABU. Phobias are usually irrational - his rational brain tells him that injections are important, hence why he can do it to other people.

Its an odd one but not sure why it shows a lack of empathy. It just demonstrates how illogical phobias are.

Needlephobic here - I trained in a healthcare profession and had to take blood/give injections. Not an issue. Don't think I'm a sociopath

Of course it doesn’t show a lack of empathy. He isn’t saying that he’s Not empathetic to the person he’s injecting….just that it doesn’t trigger his phobia as he knows the needle isn’t going in him.

I’m a HCP. I hate having injections done to me, feel shakey. I’m fine injecting other people, it doesn’t bother me. But I’m very sympathetic when someone comes who has a phobia and is worried.

I can assure you that I didn't fancy most procedures that I carried out as a nurse. I had a really strong gag reflex when I was younger. I had to train myself out of it by doing self-talk as I dealt with vomit.

Oh for goodness sake. To be an effective HCP you actually need a certain level of distance from patients or you couldn't physically function.

The only person with a lack of empathy is you.

Having injections for most people is not traumatic. What do you want him to do - cry over them? I also don't think that you are arbiter of who your sister goes out with.

DS had his ear pierced (with a needle) by a woman with a needle phobia last week.

Tell her to run a mile?

Please tell me she doesn't actually come to you for relationship advice?

In fact, I remember being a care assistant on a ward, late at night, with a patient who had fecal vomit. I kept my composure while assisting a nurse with an Ng tube placement. Then I carried the vomit bowl full of it across the ward and promptly fainted. A combination of been tired, very stressful procedure for a distressed patient, and noxious smell.

You learn coping strategies. You learn not to think too hard of the physical process of treatments, and just concentrate on supporting your patient.

Most procedures I carry out I wouldn’t fancy myself, doesn’t mean I don’t care.

I think you are confusing sympathy and empathy OP.

It is totally different when you have your professional head on doing your job to when you’re the patient.

I am almost exactly the opposite! Although perfectly competent, I HATED giving injections, was always upset at possibly hurting someone (completely irrational as good technique shouldn't be too painful), but was quite happy to let students practice IM and subcut procedure on me with empty needle, and usually watch to provide instruction.

I am very catheter phobic though although I have inserted them, I think you would need to peel me off the ceiling to insert one in me.

I'm dumber now for having read this. Thanks.

Do you understand what empathy actually means???

So a nurse needs to like having needles on themselves? Does a butcher need to enjoy eating every, single product they sell or they don't care about their customers? Does a hair dresser needs to enjoy every style of hair cut and colour on themselves, otherwise they aren't empathising with their customers. How ridiculous.

I'm a nurse with a needle phobia. I gave injections EXACTLY how I want to receive them - precise but over quickly. I have fuck-loads of sympathy and empathy with other people who hate them precisely because I totally get it. I'm great at persuading needle-phobes to let me do it because of this shared hatred.

I'm not scared of LOOKING at them so I'm quite capable of giving injections. It's a phobia of being stabbed by one. Funny enough I don't mind being bitten/scratched by cats to an extent so it's not a skin-breaking thing. I'm also fully vaccinated (pro-vaccinations in general) and have given blood. Fucking hate it though and spend the whole time repeating the mantra 'it's not my arm, it's not my arm'.

UWBTotallyU to think anything negative about this or thing of them as anything negative because they're amongst the many who don't like needles.

I can’t watch horror films due to extreme distress at seeing people cut, bleeding or damaged. I was aware when taking a job in healthcare this might be a problem. Turns out it wasn’t in any way. Who’d have thought???

My DH used to be a nurse. He was needle phobic but perfectly able to stick them other people. He had an amazing reputation for kindness and great bedside manner. YABU and weird.

@Poshjock

I can’t watch horror films due to extreme distress at seeing people cut, bleeding or damaged. I was aware when taking a job in healthcare this might be a problem. Turns out it wasn’t in any way. Who’d have thought???

I'm ex operating theatre. Can watch/ participate in stuff in real life that makes me squirm on a TV screen eye surgery

I used to be terrified of needles until my 30s. I was scared they would snap off inside my arm and they would not be able to get it out 😳 🤦🏻‍♀️. It didn't bother me seeing one or someone else getting injected, I can see how he could easily give injections but still be scared of needles.

The fear disappeared after exposure to lots of injections/blood being taken (high risk preg, a traumatic birth/emcs/regular pain relief injections etc) and I actually started donating blood after that to keep my exposure up so the fear didnt come back!

It the same with spiders, terrified of them but for a silly reason, the fear is not the spider hurting me, I am scared it gets squished on me and it is crunchy and full of pus inside. 😳🤦🏻‍♀️ totally irrational because i am not squeamish about anything else like that, just spiders. It is probably something thats happened or something Ive seen and cant remember in a film somewhere. I am not going to practice squishing spiders to get over it 🕷👏🏼 🤣

Really? Don't you think that your response to this is a tad over dramatic? Run a Mile?

Your thinking is “definitely faulty” as you suggested…🤦🏼‍♀️