Good afternoon all,
I would really appreciate your opinions on a situation I have got myself into please?
Last year I moved to a very rural area, I live on a single track country lane. Nearest neighbours 1/2 mile each way. I moved so far away as a very violent ex still talks about us getting back together. I've had to change my career ,name and cut off my friends for concerns about my safety.
I met the neighbour a single chap , he has separated from his ex partner. She apparently moved out and he went back to an empty house. They have 3 children. It is a very lonely isolated place and despite my best attempts there is no community here. Well, lets say i'm judged at being English. This man was the only person whom spoke to me. This chap started bringing his children down to my house, I loved having them here. But, then he entered my property through a private gate , let the children run through my house, whilst I was actually in the garden. I turned around and he was watching me arse waving in the air whilst gardening, I had no idea how long he had been watching me.
Then I started to notice my front garden, it is fenced in , had been walked through overnight about 3 times, So I put a padlock on the gate. I also had a bra disappear off my washing line.
This chap started appearing every time I left my property. As I say its rural and I can been seen from his farm. He started popping down unannounced , usually bring the children . Sadly, the children look like something from Oliver Twist. I did buy the children some new clothes. He told me his ex wanted her new boyfriend to adopt the children . Then began months of him popping in all hours of the day and night and sitting at the table for hours, wanting emotion support. I would feed him as I always cook too much and was happy to do this. He kept using the children as bait. The children never want to leave when they come here.
Anyway, I told him about these footprints in the garden, he told me it would be badgers. I told him I was having blinds fitted , he asked what on that window there? The window he can see from his Farm. I have 14 windows in the house. He then had a detailed conversation about the strength of binoculars. A bit of a cat out the bag moment!
Another time he came down he was crying because he wanted to provide his children with more than cheap Argos tablets and he wanted them to have a TV in their bedrooms. I told him kids are 4x2 and 7. They don't need TVs and the tablets are good enough. I was growing ever weary of his constant drop ins. I have MS and am really struggling with life. He then asked me to provide a character reference due to custody battle. I was happy to report what I had witnessed. But, then he came down and produced another 12 references. He had loads of support .I told him to F off and leave me alone, he was draining the life out of me. I apologised later. I was away in a City and planning the children Christmas presents, I sent him several photos of Lego sets..42,45 and 89 pound. He said get the 89 pound one, bearing in mind that would mean 89 pounds each for 3 children.
He has promised to do lots of very simple jobs for me, dig a tree in, fix a fence post, very simple little jobs, none have been actioned. Once whilst out, he asked me to buy him work trousers, I foolishly did. He seemed surprised when I told him the cost of them.
I am a very kindly soul but I feel terribly awkward now as its a single track road. On Christmas Eve he bought down a huge bouquet of flowers.(left on doorstep) He told children would be down themselves to bring me a present, in other words collect their 90 pound each of presents. I hate to spite the children, I've fed them, played with them and cared for them for hours. He suggested he wants more contact with the children, but would require my help to babysit, collect and take them to school etc.
I actually want to take these presents back and get a refund. Or is that just pure spite?
My own children where kidnapped many years ago, by the man I had to go to the extremes to escape yet again. So , I only wanted to help these children out . I have no sexual or romantic interest in this neighbour. He is 6 years younger and acts like a very young man. The chap seemed utterly lost and broken. I just wanted to help him out and be a big sister. I just feel uncomfortable now, as I will pass him and he drives past my house and back garden several times a day. I have also lent /gave him 2800 and bought him and his son a bike. In fairness I took a former employer to a tribunal , so it was tainted money .
The money and acts of kindness do not bother me. I am away from the house now and I dread heading back and bumping into him. Before I left I asked him to just ignore me now, we have nothing to say. A week later he sees me heading to the bin, pulls the car over and chats like we are best of friends.
I am rather dented by life, worked several jobs and am lucky I do not struggle money wise. But, I realise this man is out for everything he can get FOC. Why bother cooking when he has his children, when I cook for free.
I hope some of you wise people can give me your objective points of view, please do not be too harsh...walk a day in my shoes and all that. I'm totally lost and have no decent friends now. I'm going to put the house on the market and leave.
Many thanks for reading and good health and happiness to you all.