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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For not being able to get my daughter to school?

46 replies

Weirdmom · 05/01/2022 14:50

So me and my partner and my son have come down with covid over the last few days and are obviously feeling pretty crap.

When I rang in to tell work (also where my daughter goes to school) today I also told them I wouldn't be able to get my daughter (5) to school as I have no one to get her there.

Had a phone call an hour later from school telling me
My daughter has to come to school as she isn't required to isolate
Her attendance is already at 87% so I can legally be prosecuted
Try finding a family nearby that does the school run to same school or I could drive up and member of staff can meet her from the car park

So I don't drive and don't have any mom friends at the school? The only person who would usually be able to help me in this situation is my mom who is also isolating with covid

(Just to explain her attendance is due to 9 days off, 5 were due to her testing positive to covid, 2 days were a sickness bug and another 2 days were due to waiting for pcr results as her sister had covid and school requested it)

OP posts:

inmyslippers · 05/01/2022 14:52

I don't understand this at all. Really poor show from the school. Surely the staff and pupils don't want to risk infection

RedCandyApple · 05/01/2022 14:55

Back when kids had to isolate if someone in their class tested positive I had to keep all my kids (even though the others didn’t need to isolate) at home as no one to take the others. School was fine with it and never asked me to bring them in just all stay at home.

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2022 14:55

Those are reasonable suggestions from the school, they weren't to know it's not possible for you.

You won't be prosecuted though. Presumably you'd appeal any fines?

Theunamedcat · 05/01/2022 15:00

Ring them back and tell them government guidelines were that covid absence was recorded differently

Ask them to come collect her say you will have her ready for member of staff to collect in the morning as you have no one who can collect

thepastisanothercountry · 05/01/2022 15:04

is there a class whatsapp group you could ask other parents for lifts on ? You may find that someone is willing to take it on for a few days.

Hope you feel better quickly

EdgeOfTheBox · 05/01/2022 15:07

@Weirdmom

So me and my partner and my son have come down with covid over the last few days and are obviously feeling pretty crap.

When I rang in to tell work (also where my daughter goes to school) today I also told them I wouldn't be able to get my daughter (5) to school as I have no one to get her there.

So I don't drive and don't have any mom friends at the school? The only person who would usually be able to help me in this situation is my mom who is also isolating with covid

The thing that jumped out for me about your post is your daughters attendance currently at 87%. If 7 of those days were due to covid & awaiting pcr results, this shouldn't be included as an absence, only the 2 days of sickness.

Had the same issue with my child's school, it should be coded as 'X' on the register and therefore not counted.

Might be worth challenging the school on that one, especially with the threats of prosecuting.

EvilPea · 05/01/2022 15:08

It’s utter bollocks this one. By doing “the right thing” your risking another family.

That said the way it’s spreading you may find another parent who has had it recently willing to do it. If not I would just keep her home and risk the telling off, especially with the lack of LFTs at the moment it’s not like you can easily test her every day.

Alayalaya · 05/01/2022 15:11

They are being unreasonable in expecting another family to take the risk of transporting your child. I drive to school every day but I wouldn’t be willing to take another child with me from a house where people have Covid.

Idontknowlondon · 05/01/2022 15:24

I do think this is a bit ridiculous. How would you feel if the your daughter tests positive in a few days and has passed it to the kind person giving her a lift? School really don't consider the implications. It's short term, not like if you took a new job or had a long term health issue in which case yes, perfectly reasonable to expect you to make alternative arrangements.

BlueyandBingo · 05/01/2022 15:25

Absence due to Covid or waiting for a Covid test cannot be used as part of attendance as they are not legally allowed to be there.
The school are being massively inflexible and unreasonable.

Pegasussnail · 05/01/2022 15:25

I would just tell the school that your daughter is showing symptoms now

Moonface123 · 05/01/2022 15:39

Ask how many teachers are currently off sick ?
Will they be threatened with prosecution ?
What a load of old bollocks .

Wheredidthequietgo · 05/01/2022 15:50

Tell school she's since tested positive on lateral flow device and order a home PCR test kit. They're taking forever to arrive and process so one of you will probably be out of isolation by the time it comes back anyway.

Snoken · 05/01/2022 16:04

Does your DP drive and can drop her off? If not, when is the first one of you out of isolation? Also, is she in reception or Y1? If she is in reception than she obviously does not need to be there anyway.

ihearttc · 05/01/2022 16:15

Covid absences don’t count so the days she had off aren’t included in the percentage (or shouldn’t be)

TabithaTittlemouse · 05/01/2022 16:18

You work there? They don’t sound like they like you very much!
I would just explain it like you have here and say tough!

Yika · 05/01/2022 16:23

Honestly I find this kind of thing totally ridiculous. For one thing she is only 5 years old, periodic absences are not going to undermine her whole education. Such pressure on parents who are unready unwell. Full sympathy with you! I agree with the PP who says just say she is showing symptoms.

DeepaBeesKit · 05/01/2022 16:25

Do you not know a single other mum or dad at the school? Do you have a pta or class whatsapp where you can ask if any parents can help?

DeepaBeesKit · 05/01/2022 16:26

If she is in reception than she obviously does not need to be there anyway.

She does if she was 5 last term.

FellWanderer · 05/01/2022 16:28

The government has changed the way covid absences are recorded. If a child is waiting for a result it is recorded as an 'x' and does not count towards attendance. If the child actually has covid it is recorded as an illness and does count towards their attendance. Schools have been told that children with covid in their household still must go to school. Tell the school you have no one to take her but are happy for a member of staff to collect her each morning.

GinAndMe · 05/01/2022 16:30

I would just jeep her off regardless. You cannot physically get her to school as you risk getting fined from track and trace. Keep her off!!

RussianSpy101 · 05/01/2022 16:34

Can you not drive her up to school and let a staff member meet her at the car, as suggested?

MummyItsallaboutyou · 05/01/2022 16:34

The school telling you to drive her and not get out of the car is ridiculous! They are telling you to break isolation rules.
We had a letter from our school yesterday saying they would authorise absences for household cases.
Re the absence marking for Covid, I challenged this at the beginning of December and was told that since September the Government has said that Covid absence has to be marked as sick. The time waiting for the test result can be x-coded but the rest of the time is sick.

StarryNightSky26 · 05/01/2022 16:34

I wouldn't be lying about dc having covid symptoms at all. I'd be completely honest and placing this firmly back at the school's door.

I'd be emailing them reiterating the fact that:

DH and I are currently covid positive.
We do not drive.
We do not have anyone else who is able to do the school run.

Then I would state that I fully expect the school to give dc an authorised absence until x date or to provide me the details of the school staff member who will be collecting dc and dropping them home.

We're in the exact same situation at present. DH and I are positive, dc negative. I phoned school yesterday to tell them and they've simply put dc down as authorised absence until next Tuesday when we're out of isolation.

StarryNightSky26 · 05/01/2022 16:40

Do you not know a single other mum or dad at the school? Do you have a pta or class whatsapp where you can ask if any parents can help?

I wouldn't dream of putting someone in that position by asking them.

It's one thing accepting your kids may be mixing with classmates who have covid positive family members. It's a whole other level asking a school mum to collect and drop off your child from the covid positive house - which at Reception age is likely to involve an element of needing to assist in carrying lunch bags or coats or artwork or whatever and can't be done from the end of the road.

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