Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gendered/Sex based insults

75 replies

lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 12:42

For the last 6 months every time I hear someone use 'bitch', 'slag', 'Karen' etc rather than preach feminism I have asked them if there are any insults there are specifically for men. It has worked well in so far as all my siblings and colleagues have stopped using misogynist slurs and justifying them. No one has come back to me me with any insults for all men though - homophobic slurs and racist slurs specifically for men yes but not for all men, or straight white men.

AIBU to think that there aren't any sex based or gendered insults for men?

OP posts:
daimbarsatemydogsbone · 04/01/2022 12:44

Prick, tosser, bellend, dick, dickhead, wanker, no there are no male based ones at all.

LibbyVonTrap · 04/01/2022 12:46

I quite like Dickhead for a bloke. Nobhead works too

DrSbaitso · 04/01/2022 12:46

There are, but a) they're much fewer in number b) they aren't as heavily sexualised and therefore not as deeply offensive and c) they aren't merely the male counterpart of terms that aren't offensive, or at least have a different meaning, when made feminine.

Original poster
lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 12:48

The most common response I got was 'Bastard' but refers to being illegitimate and isn't specifically for men. In fact I have regularly heard it tagged with racist and homophobic slurs when used for men.
I am interested to see if the wide reach of MN produces some I don't know...

OP posts:
Original poster
lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 12:50

@DrSbaitso

There are, but a) they're much fewer in number b) they aren't as heavily sexualised and therefore not as deeply offensive and c) they aren't merely the male counterpart of terms that aren't offensive, or at least have a different meaning, when made feminine.
What are they? I am scratching my head here.

An example I discussed with a colleague was that a woman might be a fat old cow, a sow, a bitch etc but I do not hear the male version used as in insult other than ironically or in jest - eg "He's a dirty dog, always chasing women"

OP posts:
LifesNotEnidBlyton · 04/01/2022 12:51

Fuckboy. "

fuckboy

/ˈfʌkbɔɪ/

noun

VULGAR SLANG•DEROGATORY

a weak or contemptible man.

a man who has many casual sexual partners.

".

Original poster
lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 12:51

@LibbyVonTrap

I quite like Dickhead for a bloke. Nobhead works too
I'm not looking for ways to insult men hahaha - those words have all been used in my direction over the years. They can be used for men but women are called them too - regularly where I live.

In the US Cunt is mostly used for women only, and if used to insult a man it is a way of feminising him, I understand from my US based family.

OP posts:
JuergenSchwarzwald · 04/01/2022 12:54

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Prick, tosser, bellend, dick, dickhead, wanker, no there are no male based ones at all.
None of which are anything like as offensive as the c word. I also dislike the karen meme as it is squarely aimed at women of my age who should be seen but not heard (and preferably not seen, either).
Original poster
lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 12:54

@LifesNotEnidBlyton

Fuckboy. "

fuckboy

/ˈfʌkbɔɪ/

noun

VULGAR SLANG•DEROGATORY

a weak or contemptible man.

a man who has many casual sexual partners.

".

Thanks! I did know this term but thought it was a semi compliment, only ironically it seems!
OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 04/01/2022 12:54

I can't really think of any insult for men that carries the connotation of promiscuity. Don't even know where to start with the ones for women.

I think the worst I've heard is "male slut" which still reinforces the idea that sluts are women by default and require a qualifier to apply to men.

I was on an almost entirely male forum years ago. I had a username that was obviously feminine, and one that wasn't. When I was assumed to be a man, insults were made along the lines of being a virgin, gay and a general loser at life. When I was known to be a woman, insults were made along the lines of being promiscuous, fat (that was easily the most common one) and ugly. Yes, I asked why they thought someone as physically repellent as they assumed me to be would have so much luck with men, but I never got an answer. One of them might have said some men will fuck anything.

It wasn't all bad, but the flame wars were illuminating.

Original poster
lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 12:57

This is good for those who use Karen as an insult:
karenismyname.org/renamer

My name is also a working class classic from the 60s/70s so I feel I had a narrow escape with this one. A friend called Karen cried in the summer, sobbed and said she wanted to change her name but felt it was insulting to her mother who chose the name and loved it. She is of Afro Caribbean heritage so the racial connotations are particularly upsetting to her

OP posts:
NumberTheory · 04/01/2022 12:59

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Prick, tosser, bellend, dick, dickhead, wanker, no there are no male based ones at all.
Many of these are routinely used for women too. The words may be male based, but the actions they criticise are not bad because they are committed by men the way the gendered slurs in the OP are. Even the ones, like bellend, that are more often reserved for men, aren’t used to criticise behaviour that women would not be called names over.
DropYourSword · 04/01/2022 13:00

I’d say “cuck” is specifically only used for men, although I think it’s likely used more in US than UK.
“Gammon” - not sure I’ve ever heard that directed towards a woman
“Pale, male and stale” - exclusive to old white men!

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 04/01/2022 13:00

Cuck.
"
cuck

/kʌk/

noun

DEROGATORY•INFORMAL

a weak or servile man (often used as a contemptuous term for a man with moderate or progressive political views).

a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful; a cuckold.

".

MorningStarling · 04/01/2022 13:06

I disagree with the idea that bitch or Karen are misogynistic slurs at all. Calling someone a bitch is not having a go at them for being a woman, it's accusing them of having certain character traits. The same with Karen, it's used because someone's behaving in a certain way.

Insults to men are usually about them being weak or unsuccessful with women. Men get called "virgin" in the same way women get called "sluts" - it's just a way of attacking a certain trait.

Flicking through my copy of Roger's Profanisaurus I find lots of insulting terms for men. Member of the Pulletariat, Turps Nudger, Bradley Biggins, Manny Craddock etc.

Original poster
lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 13:10

Cuck is definitely an insult for men only, of all races. Thanks no one said this so far, I suspect due to being more Americanised.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 04/01/2022 13:10

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Prick, tosser, bellend, dick, dickhead, wanker, no there are no male based ones at all.
Op: There are no sex-based insults for men.

Gets given list above.

Op: Those don't count.

In Ireland at least, "He's a bollox" is specifically gendered, is exclusively an insult, and isn't used to insult women. Does that meet your very very narrow criteria?

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 04/01/2022 13:11

One thing that is clear from this is that this is regional and country specific.

Twicklette · 04/01/2022 13:14

The common term of abuse for men on Mumsnet is 'Mummy's Boy'. It manages to insult grown men and be misogynistic at the same time.

HPLikecraft · 04/01/2022 13:14

I disagree. I see people of both sexes being called cunts (especially in Scotland where it pretty much just means a random person!) but don’t often see or hear of women being called prick, dick, dickhead, scrote, cock, penis, bawbag, wankshaft, bellend, ponce…

There are plenty of gendered insults on both sides.

OneTC · 04/01/2022 13:14

It's a bit unfair to exclude the homophobic slurs from the equation

Original poster
lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 13:16

@Twicklette

The common term of abuse for men on Mumsnet is 'Mummy's Boy'. It manages to insult grown men and be misogynistic at the same time.
Yes it is both insulting to the man and his mother but it is only used for men so definitely gender based
OP posts:
EmpressCixi · 04/01/2022 13:17

An example I discussed with a colleague was that a woman might be a fat old cow, a sow, a bitch etc but I do not hear the male version used as in insult

Never called a man a dirty, disgusting pig then? Or said a man is an utter beast? Or a cold hearted snake? Or a lazy sloth? Or a freeloading leech?

TrishM80 · 04/01/2022 13:18

@DrSbaitso

There are, but a) they're much fewer in number b) they aren't as heavily sexualised and therefore not as deeply offensive and c) they aren't merely the male counterpart of terms that aren't offensive, or at least have a different meaning, when made feminine.
I'm not sure about points a and b you make. The 2nd post of this thread showed half a dozen insults routinely used against men, and all of them are sexualised (ie referring to either male genitalia and/or masturbation).
Original poster
lucillelarusso · 04/01/2022 13:18

@OneTC

It's a bit unfair to exclude the homophobic slurs from the equation
I have been called homophobic slurs countless times - mostly dyke or bull dyke. I consider this homophobia rather than misogyny, it is both thou.
OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread