To just let you know (re, SEN funding)

[theqentity]

That TA in the class that does 1-1 with the child that had additional needs is not funded by the school, but the LA, and a parent had to probably go to tribunal in order to get that level of support for their child.

What they are NOT doing is taking away from the school funding and the education of others. They are not there to support other children, although many do despite it not being in their job description.

Sorry, just the pass gag What's App group has really depressed me today.

@GrannytoaUnicorn you would be surprised how strongly that mother bear comes out when you realise your children are being shafted. I'm actually a really anxious, quiet, unconfident person who can't stand up for myself at all but messing with my children definitely brought out the ability to be firm and Persistent with professionals.

To be fair, they are firm with online learning. COVID only, and only after a positive PCR (although that will have to change when the LFD without symptoms rule comes in). I do understand.

However, that doesn't mean they can ignore her very real distress. A 14 year old howling for 2 hours before school is not even close to normal. I will play the game, I'll have the meeting, but they will need to do something to help DD2.

@Lougle Have you asked for a referral to CAMHS? I know the support they offer can be variable but sometimes they can be very useful to have onside. For dd medication and their letters confirming anxiety diagnosis were pretty helpful in securing the provision she needed and stopped her needs being downplayed.

@theqentity so is it correct to say the sen budget is worked out by a formula that takes in to account a number of factors. So therefore potentially different amount in the pot in each school. How much is spent on individual children/groups/resources is upto school but if they are applying for additional funding for a child they are expected to be paying 6k before they can ask for more?

@Mincemeatbadger

From another perspective, demand for EHCPs has risen by 50% in some LAs during Covid (I work for central govt) - LAs don’t have the money to provide that amount of support. Where does the money come from? Not saying the system wasn’t broken anyway but it’s too easy to blame “corrupt LAs” when SEND is well and truly in crisis at a national level following the pandemic.

Oh our LA like to roll out that old chesnut. Except the rise in demand is all their own doing by being pally pally with schools and failing to hold them accountable when they refuse to provide basic send support, refuse to make basic reasonable adjustments and off roll their send kids, forcing more people to apply for EHC needs assessments because it's the only way to get any actual support in place. It just ends costing them more in the long run because they're too dim to see the bigger picture of what happens when you ignore the early signs of SEND

@Dogfacepacer

IPSEA rep here, I’ve done 4 appeals on my own kids so far and have 3 pending. It’s exhausting. Most of the time I don’t look up, I keep plodding forward and onward and then close the files before bed. This thread makes me feel panicky and I wonder do I have some sort of PTSD related to the endless grind of this.

My children are at different schools - the Senco at one is an extraordinarily insightful and intuitive educator. And a human and a mum.

The other is nothing short of useless.

I give the school gate a huge swerve, I have my tribe. If I could change one thing I’d like to be able to do a presentation to the other parents at school, with a flow chart of what assessments my children have had, their cost, the timings, and a run through of the mountain of paperwork associated. I don’t think that the vast majority of parents have a clue about the mental burden of the admin - and that’s before we start with actually living with disabilities.

Absolutely. Children AND their parents end up traumatised.

I've done 4 appeals, a pre action letter for JR (because even after Tribunals LAs still don't abide by their statutory duties), plus I've had two successful Ombudsman complaints resulting in around £6 k of compensation (which will NEVER make up for the damage done). I still have more under investigation and need to make further complaints due to two recent bodged annual reviews.

It's never ending and it's stressful. They just hope they will wear you down and you will go away. I've recently been put on anti depressants and I can honestly say dealing with one horrendous school and the LA is the cause of it.

[quote hiredandsqueak]@Lougle Have you asked for a referral to CAMHS? I know the support they offer can be variable but sometimes they can be very useful to have onside. For dd medication and their letters confirming anxiety diagnosis were pretty helpful in securing the provision she needed and stopped her needs being downplayed.[/quote]
I referred to CAMHS but because I hadn't done Barnardo's Cygnet Course, they rejected the referral. I'm now on the final week of the course that might have been useful 15 years ago

AAARGH the bloody courses.
We did quite a helpful ADHD one which was really flexible (morning, evening slots, both parents or one attend, we did turn and turn about and tried to both get to all of them but filled each other in if we couldn't) and we've been referred for one that might be helpful IF they didn't insist that both parents did it, and not provide childcare (they have offered us an evening slot, but apparently there is also a daytime slot for foster carers - same course, we are adopters - we can't ask to take 14 mornings off work either!)
But having done the first one we have just been offered Triple P which has a number of papers published on it... ALL by the people that get money from it.
Useful summary here
bmcmedicine.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1741-7015-10-130
This statement stands out for me:

Given the substantial cost implications, commissioners should apply to parenting programs the standards used in assessing pharmaceutical interventions.

Yes the courses. And “have you thought about a reward chart?”

Yes, Thankyou. I’ve thought about a reward chart. And medication. And a different school. And a different life where I just pile the kids in the car and drive till there’s no more land left and stay there, doing our thing, with no one to ask stupid fucking questions.

@Dogfacepacer

Yes the courses. And “have you thought about a reward chart?”

Yes, Thankyou. I’ve thought about a reward chart. And medication. And a different school. And a different life where I just pile the kids in the car and drive till there’s no more land left and stay there, doing our thing, with no one to ask stupid fucking questions.

🤣🤣,made laugh l And stickers what about giving him stickers ? Yes because my severely autistic child ,who is nonnverbal who has never shown any interest in stickers ,is suddenly going to be delighted at being presented with a sticker!

The only thing I found useful from the courses was making friends with other parents on the course who get it!

I am obviously too scary to be offered any courses as I've never been offered or had to do one 
The first time I went to CAMHS with ds fourteen years after his diagnosis the woman there asked if I had considered routines and visual supports as they could be useful. I laughed told her I was doing routines and visual timetables whilst she was still in school so could we fast forward to the advice for parents fourteen years after diagnosis. She gave up and referred to psychiatrist who was pretty good tbf and prescribed anti depressants Tbh that's been my experience with CAMHS both times get past the dross who are gatekeepers to real support and the psychiatrists and psychologists are really helpful
It's triple p courses as standard around here as well @drspouse

@Sirzy

The only thing I found useful from the courses was making friends with other parents on the course who get it!

I spend the whole time educating other parents (in what a brain is, what medication does/doesn't do, what a legal and illegal exclusion is, what an EHCP is, how to apply for one, what a good EHCP looks like etc. etc.). Science training plus two SEN tribunals will do that to you.

@hiredandsqueak

I am obviously too scary to be offered any courses as I've never been offered or had to do one  The first time I went to CAMHS with ds fourteen years after his diagnosis the woman there asked if I had considered routines and visual supports as they could be useful. I laughed told her I was doing routines and visual timetables whilst she was still in school so could we fast forward to the advice for parents fourteen years after diagnosis. She gave up and referred to psychiatrist who was pretty good tbf and prescribed anti depressants Tbh that's been my experience with CAMHS both times get past the dross who are gatekeepers to real support and the psychiatrists and psychologists are really helpful It's triple p courses as standard around here as well *@drspouse*

I did the Triple P stepping stone,s specifically for learning disabilities I felt pressured into buying the book ,never looked at it once 🙄

@Dogfacepacer Don't forget offering them a warm drink to calm down. Facepalm

@Meadowbreeze had I ever done that to ds I would have been wearing the warm drink His notes were plastered with duck as you enter as his aim was ferocious and entering his space would get him launching missiles. Remember SALT having to dodge a bedside table launched down the stairs, she'd not even spoken, he wasn't older than four then.

offering them a warm drink to calm down
Are they confusing my DS with someone's granny who's a bit flustered because she's forgotten her keys?

They offered me a sleep course with DC who did not sleep. The course consisted of:

• class one, the importance of a bedtime routine
• class two, relaxation techniques
• class three, putting the two together

Who knew that fixing chronic sleep issues in neurodiverse children with complex needs was so simple? I refused, told them I could teach the course with the knowledge of everything I'd tried over the years, and left with a prescription for melatonin which worked much better than a bedtime sticker chart and some warm milk.

My other favourite CAMHS piece of advice: "have you tried saying no to him?"

It's the firm boundaries being trotted as if you don't have them. Funnily enough my autistic children LOVE firm boundaries, everything in our life has to have clearly defined boundaries. My life is one big boundary

They do have a way of making parents feel like it's all their fault ,I'm sure that's not the intention but it's how it' comes across.

We where referred for a sleep course, the lady was lovey she phoned me and we discussed things and she said “I’m sure your not shocked but there is nothing we can do or say that can change it”

Seems it was a local push to get children off melatonin! Not a chance if we ever want to sleep at all

I was sent on a course for parents of children with autistic traits but no diagnosis, or as I like to call it "the head tilt and have you tried a weighted blanket course" The other parents seemed to think it was wonderful but for me as a parent of 5 ND children, 3 diagnosed and 2 not it was about 13 years too late.

And yes to the professionals who try and tell you that everything your child does is completely normal until you start to wonder if it's you who is incapable. Some numpty from CAMHS tried to tell me that it was normal for a 12 year old to try and kill themselves and it was probably because they played too much roblox in lockdown.

@hiredandsqueak When I said that we'd end up in the burns unit if I offered DD a hot drink whenever she had a tantrum, I was told that OBVIOUSLY it needs to be like warm and that I should really look into this course for parents of kids with autism. DD has developmental language disorder, not autism.
So they hadn't even bothered to read that.

All these "solutions" (routine, yoga, weighted blanket, take to doctor for assessment) are on my current thread about my dd who is an angry little soul. I did actually appreciate the weighted blanket suggestion. Haven't had reward chart just yet but there is time!

my favourite one, with a 15yo suffering with anxiety/self esteem issues on top of ADHD and Autism, was being advised to have him try doing positive affirmations in the mirror each day.

I've had an anxiety disorder for 25 fucking years, if that worked, i'd have been cured within 6 months. sigh