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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh’s language

66 replies

Tangletester · 03/01/2022 21:41

I’m honestly not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not. Over the last couple of years my DH has changed the way he speaks, using language he would normally use at work and I find it really irritating.

Something is no longer just difficult, it provides us with a challenge. Instead of the taxi possibly being late they might not be time reliable. There is not a lot of point in me going back to work as ‘you can’t earn enough to change the dial’. So many more.

I have discussed this with DH he thinks I’m unreasonable and this is a normal way to speak.

AIBU??

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 04/01/2022 00:29

Dh I think we need to revisit the question of my working. I appreciate you think it’s low return but I’ve taken that on board and still think it’s the best way to add stability and it is the obvious low hanging fruit to increase our earnings velocity. So I’ve applied for 3 jobs, will let you know. Obviously we will need to recalibrate the home workstream between us, but we can circle back to that once I’ve had a progress update on the job front.

acatcalledjohn · 04/01/2022 00:35

Next time he does it simply knee him in his low hanging fruit.

not advocating violence

Ladybyrd · 04/01/2022 00:38

"Time reliable"?

That would drive me nuts.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/01/2022 00:40

I think I would spend some time with a thesaurus and come up with some "Safe for Work" phrases you can use during sex!

toomuchlaundry · 04/01/2022 00:43

Need to tell him to get on (or off) the bus

AgathaMystery · 04/01/2022 00:47

OP would you like to unpack this a little more? Currently we’re at the nebulous concept stage and I’d like to drive this forward.

Lalliella · 04/01/2022 00:50

Tell him you’ve done some blue sky thinking and scanned his horizons, and your paradigms have shifted so you’re not in the same ballpark as him anymore. Then batter him into submission with a book called Getting to Yes 🤮

Rangoon · 04/01/2022 00:51

I think going forward you should stick a pin in him and run him up the flagpole if you have enough bandwidth to socialise the idea. Or give him a challenge - kick him out telling him he was just a straw man.

SirVixofVixHall · 04/01/2022 00:53

@freelions

YANBU

If he 'reaches out' to people instead of calling or emailing them then you should definitely LTB

Oh yes this. If I get another email from a company I’ve contacted, thanking me for “reaching out” i will explode.
foxgoosefinch · 04/01/2022 00:57

Ask him to cascade his vision plan to the taxi driver next time, and see if it washes its face.

LittleMouseOnTheFairy · 04/01/2022 00:59

Can’t believe he uses these terms at home! Would drive me up the wall.

I jokingly use “I’m in the well of despair” because a middle management person once told me that the staff shortages and intense workload were actually due to my attitude about them. If I could mentally get out of the well of despair, I would see that everything was actually fine Hmm

YellowMonday · 04/01/2022 01:05

I inadvertently said to friends in a WhatsApp group "let's circle back in the NY"... I still haven't lived it down.

I've found with WFH lines are blurring between work/home, and jargon is creeping into my vocabulary with friends and family.

Ohpulltheotherone · 04/01/2022 01:07

My boss says “move the dial” / “move the needle ” quite a lot.

I realise what it means, it’s self explanatory. But I just don’t get it. It’s totally cringe. There’s no need to say this when you simply say “making a difference / impact”.
I want to rip my ears off when he says it

DottyDoge · 04/01/2022 01:08

Yanbu but I think it’s easy to be influenced by work language. I wonder what it must be like to be married to a police officer (no offence!). You can always hear it if an officer is being interviewed on TV as the language is weirdly stiff (observe rather than see, proceed rather than go on, and apprehend rather than stop or catch).

Vapeyvapevape · 04/01/2022 01:15

Everyone in my office says 'reach out' it irritates the shit out of me.
As the saying goes, the only people that should Reach Out are the Four Tops .

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 04/01/2022 01:31

I think I would spend some time with a thesaurus and come up with some "Safe for Work" phrases you can use during sex!

Ask him if he wants to park the macro Grin

To be fair, the old MN favourite 'get your ducks in a row' is pure corporate-speak. Not so much 'LTB', though....

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/01/2022 01:51

When he's doing his bit....."Honey, you need to work smarter not harder"

IJoinedJustForThisThread · 04/01/2022 01:56

DP, we’ll park that as we need a sanity check first.

lemmein · 04/01/2022 01:57

@DottyDoge

Yanbu but I think it’s easy to be influenced by work language. I wonder what it must be like to be married to a police officer (no offence!). You can always hear it if an officer is being interviewed on TV as the language is weirdly stiff (observe rather than see, proceed rather than go on, and apprehend rather than stop or catch).
😆 was just about to say this - listening to the stilted way police officer's relay stories on the news is very distracting. They talk like they're writing out a statement.

You have my sympathies OP - really can't stand nobbish work 'speak' - 'reach out' 'sourced' - fuck off bellend!

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/01/2022 02:19

Oh the police on TV!

A good friend is high up in a Midlands force and was on TV after a nasty incident and while it was horrible what happened, ExDH said to him "Who was that bloke on telly who stole your face?!" It was one of those "Shouldnt laugh but......" moments!

Fidgetty · 04/01/2022 02:29

Vom... does he work in marketing? That sort of shite was endemic when I worked in that industry. I'd physically wince at times, it was all so cringeworthy.

arcof · 04/01/2022 02:36

The latest where j work is "through the Lens". If we look at it through the lens. If we put a different lens on it. Ugh drives me batshit

LavenderHills · 04/01/2022 02:37

The corporate speak is annoying, but I'd be more annoyed that he isn't supporting you to go back to work! Does he really not see that it isn't just about the money?

outingtale · 04/01/2022 02:38

@Envoitrevisage

I can’t stand the over use of reflexive pronouns. It’s vile.

The rest is fairly standard I think, we have a lot of it in my industry. The current flavour of the day is “pivot”…. Usually coupled with “course correction”.

I wasn't sure what a reflexive pronoun is so decided to educate myself.

Reflexive pronoun

In general linguistics, a reflexive pronoun, sometimes simply called a reflexive, is an anaphoric pronoun that must be coreferential with another nominal within the same clause.

My head hurts!

(but they did manage to educate oneself)

Nancydrawn · 04/01/2022 02:53

There is not a lot of point in me going back to work as ‘you can’t earn enough to change the dial’.

Um, could you elaborate on this? Because it seems way worse than run-of-the-mill dickhead language.