Stuff is too hard to get rid of

[Clutterbusting]

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

I have boxes of stuff to get rid of, I want to sell most of it, but don't have the time. I could get a skip, but things are looking like they're going to be very financially difficult for us this year as I'm at serious risk of being made redundant, so I figure I'll sell it all then as we'll really, really need the money and I'll have some time.

If we're lucky and I still have a job, I'll have to rethink, but the looming energy price rises mean we may have to try and sell stuff anyway.

specialsauce I totally understand this and used to keep every scribble of DCs from nursery up. I began to cull when I realised it wasn’t sustainable. They’re now 11 and 7 and I have kept anything cute or funny that I could identify, or anything they’re particularly proud of, in a big memory box.

Each summer when they bring home all the work and the books I sit down with the DC and go through them all. It takes a while but it’s worth it, it shows you are interested, they can talk to you about the year, and you will quickly see the things that are important to them (and to you) - eg no one in this house is emotionally attached to the maths books, there has been some gorgeous writing in the literacy and PSHE ones so I’ve kept them, and lots of nice photos of them working at school - I often cut out the relevant pieces and bin the rest.

They both have a folder to keep art work and other bits, once that’s full they decide what goes.

What changed my view? - my mum has kept a lot of my own old school work and books, and I thought about why? I have never asked to see it, might look through it once if I help her clear out and that will be it. I think that need gets fulfilled with mine when we review it each year, and I have the key pieces in the memory boxes should they want to see them.

I should add that I don’t callously dump it all in the recycling in front of them! The excess goes out gradually over the summer and has never been missed.

Would any local schools/nurseries make use of the toys?

@Peregrina

The key for me is to bag it up and put it in the car straight away - otherwise a 'bag for charity' just sits there in a corner of the bedroom taking up space.

Took stuff to the tip on Sunday and today, plus a bag of good clothes, to a small local charity. They were delighted. They had a fire recently, I don't know whether that was because of bags left outside or what.

This, is a fantastic tip. I've currently got 3 sacks of stuff for charity shop. Been in back bedroom for a month now. Partly cos covid, not sure when shop open, if shop will want it and bank holidays. But yes if it had been in the car it would have already been dropped off.

Go to a recycling centre.

Had loads of stuff I clung onto in the hope of selling but never had time, really nice stuff too in my opinion - working baby toys, nice NEXT shift dresses, decent quality but the charity shop wasn't taking donations as they had too much already, and the stuff I did try to sell didn't go, so it went to the recycling centre.

It feels really wasteful, but if nobody wants it the best thing you can do is make sure it gets recycled or disposed of the best way you can. There are usually clothing banks for charity shops or recycling which are great, just bag it up and dump it.

And don't buy more stuff when you do get rid of it. Take the approach of 'if I'm moving house, could I be arsed to take this with me'. If no, then get rid.

Bribe your teens to help? Say they can keep any funds made by selling their old stuff. All of a sudden they become experts in giving up those old toys and comics that they’ve always refused to give up before.
Also, ask on local PTFA sites if there is a “Bags2School” donation point. Ok quality Clothes and soft toys can be donated in return for funds for the charity per weight of bag. bag2school.com/
Good luck !

I know this isn't helpful to you right now but this is why I have a big clear out every 6 months. I feel cleansed afterwards!

Our recycling centre is really good. It has bins for clothes, books, electrical stuff etc. You can drop off almost anything there guilt free in the knowledge that it is being used.

I have been clearing out prior to a house move (fingers firmly crossed!)and I do a room at a time and have a charity bag, a keeping bag, and a rubbish bag. I also put them in the car straight away and when we have a car full we go to the recycling centre.

I have a collection booked from a local young people's charity on Sunday and all the clothes my young adults have grown out of are going there. Several lovely 'prom' suits and lots of shorts, jeans, sweatshirts and knitwear. Also, they take computer games and videos.

We have a book recycle 5 mins away and I took 5 carrier bags there this morning.

Next Monday I have an Icollect collection booked and have chosen the Colostomy charity to benefit from that as my late father had to have that operation.

I am in clear out mode now and it is very cathartic!!

Haha "we buy books" !! I sold my daughters college and uni books. Told my friend about it and she made 80-odd quid from her uni books (although they cost her alot to start with) it's better in the pocket than unused on a shelf.

@sue20 yes it may not be the best video she's done but it was meant to show the three ladies who do different techniques of decluttering and organising. Might help someone if they go through the rabbit hole of her playlists.
Alot of it is about mindset and sometimes it's the 'old nut shells' that are so obvious that are the most affective.

Hi. Keep on, step by step. You will get there. Theres a lot wrapped up in your posts and you know theres more to address but start where you feel comfortable and address the other issues as you gain momentum.
My sister is a declutterer. She helps people like you to get through the stress of reducing your articles. Her facebook page is called the clutter club. She does group sessions online.m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=101303064737020&refid=46&ref=content_filter&xts[0]=12.%7B%22browse_result_type%22%3A%22browse_type_page%22%2C%22click_type%22%3A%22result%22%2C%22module_result_position%22%3A0%2C%22module_role%22%3A%22ENTITY_PAGES%22%2C%22result_id%22%3A101303064737020%2C%22session_id%22%3A%228323c16b-1bae-4d46-a565-8245a8f87c2a%22%2C%22unit_id%22%3A%22mtouch_bem_res%3A560bc0a60b19597512fd8c33d294617c%22%2C%22unit_id_click_type%22%3A%22graph_search_results_item_in_module_tapped%22%2C%22unit_id_result_id%22%3A101303064737020%7D

How have you got on in that room?
My other thought is that once car is fully loaded, why not travel further to charity shops? They dont do that here (midlands).
Good luck.

@CornedBeef451 totally agree I find they are a great motivation and made me see decluttering differently, although I find Dana takes a long time to make a valid point!! Dawns approach has logic and I like that, like the value of the mug video and "the silent to do list" I love Cass' energy but I'm not great at organising. I think when my younger ones have finished with toys that's when the house gets organised!

@Mumofthreeteenagers I would really like to take a look at the group you linked to but for some reason I can't access it via the link- Facebook says 'access denied'. Would you mind telling me what it is called please?

@Littlepurpledragon I do prefer Dawn but I really like Dana's 2 questions of where would I look for this first and if I don't know, would I even remember I had it?

It's made me realise I'm not a slob though, just middling messy.

I've recently found myself looking at Dawn's husband Tom differently,,, he's just so handy!

I've decluttered all my things and household items but struggling to get DCs and DH on board.

Good luck OP, you'll get there, it just takes a while.

Hi.
Her facebook page is called - the clutter club. Sorry the link didnt work :-(

What I used to do when I lived in Brighton, where there was more footfall

• put stuff outside with a take it for free sign. It all went
• books - it always breaks my heart to get rid of books but I was never going to read the ones I got rid of again and still have "too many" - to charity shops
• still kept too much stuff.

I now live in a village. What I've done recently

• Given in and paid the council to take large objects including a broken fridge
• looked into charities that want furniture and other things that can be helpful for people who are on low incomes/benefits because I've been helped by them before
• Taken clothes that had life left in them to charity shops after giving them a good wash
• Taken clothes that were past anyone's sell-by date to clothing/material bins
• Taken more books to charity shops
• Taken dusty old books that no one would want to a books bin for recycling.
• Anything that would truly be of no use to man or beast went to the tip because sometimes no matter how much you don't want to create more landfills it's the only way to get control of your life

The most important thing and often the most difficult is not to buy more stuff unless it is absolutely necessary.

@Mumofthreeteenagers thank you . I think I maybe if it's a closed Facebook group and you're already a member it kind of confused Facebook and refused to let me in as I'm not a member....

@freckles20 - this is her company. Im hoping this works :-). letstuffgo.co.uk/

I eBay if its worth something, Freecycle or charity bag/shops if its not. Yes its a lot of hassle.

Charity shops aren't picky.. they won't go through all the bags and send you home with stuff they don't want! They'll just the bags off you and sort.

@IWasFunBeforeMum

Charity shops aren't picky.. they won't go through all the bags and send you home with stuff they don't want! They'll just the bags off you and sort.

Ours do! They've been overwhelmed since the start of the pandemic and now only accept 2 bags per person, max 12 bags per donation day which is 3 days a week and they sift through the bag whilst you stand there. Too many people have been dumping broken toys and shitty clothes.

Thank you @Mumofthreeteenagers

Thank you to the OP, and everyone who has posted.

Someone helpfully mentioned that there is such a thing as professional declutterers- I managed to find one local to me whose rates were really reasonable. She seems lovely and she's coming tomorrow to help me.

She takes an approach based on Marie Kondo and I'm worried that it might be a bit drastic for me- but I'm going to give it a shot.

Start small OP, don't try to get rid of everything in one go.
I've previously left stuff outside the charity shop and seen the stuff on the rails, so not thrown away. Depends on the location maybe.
Now I use a collection, you bag your stuff up, book a collection time, leave it outside your door and choose which charity it goes to.
Good luck OP, you'll feel better once you start.