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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stuff is too hard to get rid of

738 replies

Clutterbusting · 02/01/2022 23:32

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

OP posts:
sweetbellyhigh · 04/01/2022 10:10

@Clutterbusting

And I’m done for the day! The awful room is still bloody awful but it’s not quite as awful so that’s something. I am one of those people who wants everything to be done and finished immediately but it’s taken decades to get this way and it will take a long time to get out of it. I will take on the advice given and also doing just one or 2 things a day is better than none so that’s something I’ll also take on board no matter how shitty I feel.
👏 👏

That's a fantastic start, well done.

The trouble with having space is that we fill it up!

I'm pruning my possessions too. By many people's standards I am minimalist but even so, raising children and being creative means you end up with quite a lot of stuff.

Keep going!

Tiredalwaystired · 04/01/2022 12:50

@caringcarer

At my local supermarket there is a Salvation Army large metal bin that black sacks of quality clothing can be put into. Over Xmas I took 6 black sacks of mostly working wardrobe with 9 trouser suits, 7 skirt suits and loads of blouses and jackets. Various sizes from 14 to 18. You could do this op. Someone will be glad of it. Magazines can be recycled or if quite new dentist like them. Drive a few sacks to the tip.
Magazines less likely to be taken during COVID, so please check with the surgery before spend any time sorting some out.
SocialConnection · 04/01/2022 15:57

@Clutterbusting that's a great reminder - it takes years for a space to get like this so why beat ourselves up when our spaces don't clear instantly? That will take time & energy, too.

ChampagneCharley · 04/01/2022 17:29

Have you thought about looking into getting a professional declutter to help? Sometimes having someone to support you through things can help.
www.apdo.co.uk

LalalalalalaLand123 · 04/01/2022 17:30

I'm with you OP. Finally realised something has to be done - you can't move in my house for the STUFF. I can't bear to part with anything, especially anything to do with DC. Yesterday I decided that we need to start - 10 years since DC born, haven't got rid of a single thing (aside from mat clothes and a few baby clothes 10 years ago). I was in tears all afternoon. Will read/follow this thread with interest. Good luck.

SharonEllis · 04/01/2022 17:30

@Anordinarymum

How can a charity shop be picky when you leave the bags of stuff outside?
Please don't leave stuff outside. It gets trashed by, weather, people and possibly animals, leaving a horrible mess for the volunteers (giving up their free time) to clear up and mostly has to be thrown away. Anything of value might be stolen.
ginforme · 04/01/2022 17:33

Have a look at Marie Kondo - she advocates sorting by category rather than by room so you don't move stuff around. Then get a skip!

Bearhorn · 04/01/2022 17:33

I haven't read the full thread so apologies if this has already been suggested, but when I had to clear out my house to move out for building works, I put everything I didn't want on my garden wall for neighbours and passersby to take. In the end I had 'regulars' who would pass every day to see what else I had put out. This only works in good weather and in certain areas of course, with a lot of footfall and no snobby neighbours who might complain. It's such a huge undertaking, OP, and I wish you all the luck in the world. When you've done it you'll feel magnificent.

DonaPatrizia · 04/01/2022 17:34

Throw out/give away three things a day. It'll soon go down. If you are emotionally attached to something, but don't use or wear it, take a picture and keep that on your phone instead.

godmum56 · 04/01/2022 17:35

Just came back to say well done to the OP for making a start.

MintGreenDream · 04/01/2022 17:36

Try Nextdoor and FB marketplace listing things as free - i find that's the easiest way to shift big stuff because people will happily come and collect it when it's free or super cheap

nannygoat50 · 04/01/2022 17:36

I work in a charity shop and we take everything. It then gets sorted into different piles of saleability, sent to other shops , rags and bin

BlackCountryWench2 · 04/01/2022 17:36

Have you tried a house clearance company who will take it all away in one go (you can negotiate a price but they might not give you anything at all), or selling directly at auction? They are not all about fine art and antiques, most of the provincial auction houses will have general sales with sections for household goods. You will have to pay around 12 - 25% sellers’ commission but trust me, there are traders out there who will pay good money for mixed lots that they can sell on. Good luck OP!

LILLYPRINT · 04/01/2022 17:37

When we have stuff we no longer need we get in touch with the Altzheimers society. They take pretty much everything from household items,white goods clothes etc. We have used them 3 times now and they arrange a day and time to come and always turn up.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 04/01/2022 17:37

@Anordinarymum

How can a charity shop be picky when you leave the bags of stuff outside?
Leaving a bag outside is classed a fly tipping. Our local charity shops hate it and one has been fined as people were leaving crap outside their door - most of which had to be binned.
MummyMayo1988 · 04/01/2022 17:38

Sort into piles and take it to the tip. Recycle what you can, anything of worth put up for sale and take the rest to the tip.
I clear out our house (mainly DC's rooms) twice a year, while they are at school. They've never missed anything I've got rid of. I take bags of clothes to our local charity bin, recycle a lot and DH dumps the rest.
Don't be too hard on yourself tho; it's very easy to accumulate cr*p.

Jewel52 · 04/01/2022 17:38

@Anordinarymum

How can a charity shop be picky when you leave the bags of stuff outside?
Please don’t do this, it’s actually fly tipping and your car reg can be used to ensure you’re fined for it. My town really clamped down in this during the lockdown when charity shop doorways turned into rubbish dumps
RachaelN · 04/01/2022 17:38

I feel exactly the same. I know I need to start clearing some stuff out but I don't have the motivation to do it.

Silverflute · 04/01/2022 17:40

I’m the same. Clutter makes me anxious and fidgety, but I find it hard to part with stuff. When I’ve taken things to a charity shop I’ve often gone back the next day to buy it back !

Dibbydoos · 04/01/2022 17:43

I've put a free ad on Facebook and update it as things go. I've cleared 3 bedrooms and a dining room that way when we downsized. It's a bit odd who turns up but if you've got space in the garden pop everything there. Clothes go in a clothing bank stuff charity shops can use go there. Alternatively does your local tip have a shop. It's was great living in kenilworth Warwickshire, they took books etc.

But I agree it's hard work but then so is anything you try to do to improve your lot ;)

Balldog · 04/01/2022 17:43
  1. Contact your local homeless shelter to donate your clothes.
  2. Contact your local hospice shop to donate furniture and household stuff.
  3. Contact your local charity shops (animals as well as people) and donate the rest.
Most of these will happily collect.
SoupDragon · 04/01/2022 17:43

Has anyone mentioned fly tipping yet?

LookItsMeAgain · 04/01/2022 17:45

@Clutterbusting - Just something that I picked up on in one of your earlier posts:
Lots of useless things come in as “gifts”. If I go to my parents house I pretty much always come home with a bag of things I didn’t want or ask for. I have been firm. I’ve been pretty rude and they’re just about beginning to stop.
In relation to the gifts - you should decide between you and the kids what they want as gifts (especially if they are of an age where they can say they want X, Y or Z). Perhaps suggest cash or vouchers or one specific toy like Lego (go for the architect or Star Wars types). If you get handed a bag of stuff that you don't want, stop off on your way home and drop it all into a clothes bank or charity shop. Just say when you're handing it over that your parents put it together so you're not sure what's in it.

That's what I would do. You have the control to stop the 'stuff' crossing your threshold in the first place.

Best of luck to you with this.

Pearshaped20 · 04/01/2022 17:47

If you just want to give it away, we have a local page called "Given in Kindness". Just post your stuff and people come and get it. Might be worth seeing if one local to you. Anything goes from a cd, teacup to a bed

Mandyjack · 04/01/2022 17:49

Just take boxes and bags to the charity shop and let them sort through. There are also clothes recycling points you can use. Try using marketplace or freegle and give stuff away. When you give it away it usually goes a lot quicker! When my father died we had a few days to empty his flat so had to quickly get rid of a lot of stuff. Some sold, some went to charity shop and some to neighbours. Where I live if you want to get rid of stuff people often put it outside there house with a sign saying free. Take 1 step at a time and gradually get rid of stuff but be as ruthless as possible