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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How does it work when your kids have covid?

39 replies

PicaK · 02/01/2022 22:27

I'm reading the regs and I'm genuinely not sure.
If your young child gets covid and obviously still needs looking after and hugs etc how does that affect you in terms of isolating?
Is it still OK to go out and about to work, see people etc.
It's tricky because my ex has chosen to go see his girlfriend and her kids today who have tested positive.
He now wants to see our kids and messaged "I don't have to isolate. I don't have symptoms. So I can go about my life as normal. So I can go to work and mix with people. There is no reason why I cannot see the kids. I am not breaking any rules."
I'm still a bit angry with him about other stuff this xmas and worrying it's clouding my judgement.
Aibu to not let him see them?

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 02/01/2022 22:28

The girlfriend and the kids have to isolate so he can’t visit them or they are breaking isolation and they are breaking the rules whilst technically he would not be

catgirl1976 · 02/01/2022 22:30

If your child you live with and care for gets covid you don’t isolate fr them - you hug them and care for them as normal. But it doesn’t sound like your ex loves with his gf and her children and as they are isolating they can’t have him round to visit

Minfilia · 02/01/2022 22:30

He shouldn’t have gone to see the girlfriends kids.

But there’s no legal reason he can’t now see his own. He doesn’t have to isolate.

AnnaBolina · 02/01/2022 22:30

Well, it doesn't work like that, that's for damn sure. Isolating means NO VISITORS no matter who they are. So yes, he's been exposed and should now quarantine until the results of a PCR test he takes show he's negative

Blueeyedgirl21 · 02/01/2022 22:30

@catgirl1976 it’s tricky because I think if the girlfriend hasn’t tested positive she can still see OP’s ex. Also kids who come from blended families can go from one parent to another even when positive I believe to maintain mandated contact

catgirl1976 · 02/01/2022 22:30

I’ve miss read. He can come and see the kids but I wouldn’t let him given he’s just been with positive people.

Original poster
PicaK · 02/01/2022 22:31

He doesn't live with them. But he went to visit today.
He wants to see the kids.
I've said no. I've never ever stopped him seeing them. So I feel awful.

OP posts:
Original poster
PicaK · 02/01/2022 22:34

I know other families with covid. And 1 parent is caring for the kids and living in half the house with them.
Because if an adult has it you're supposed to self isolate.
My parents are old and vulnerable.
I work in a school. (not a teacher)

OP posts:
Wondergirl100 · 02/01/2022 22:36

He is right - he does not have to isolate. The rules were changed quite clearly in August so that only people who test positive with Covid have to isolate.

If your child has covid you behave like any caring parent would with a sick child - you hug them, care for them and behave normally. IF I was living with someone with covid I would probably be a bit careful when out and about - but I live in a very high prevelance area and our schools have been full of children with parents/ siblngs with covid.

This is how it should be - we are all vaccinated now as a society and need to return to normal. Your children are not at risk from covid (as children have never been at risk of severe illness) and your partner is allowed to see them if he does not have covid.

They could catch Omicron anywhere anytime - on a bus/ in school/ from a friend. There is no point worrying about contact with dad when he is not sick himself.

Wondergirl100 · 02/01/2022 22:38

I know many people who have got children with covid or had it recently and I have never heard of any of them 'isolating' their child in the home. total nonsense. Elderly and vulnerable people will have had 3 vaccines now and the booster is extremely effective.

catgirl1976 · 02/01/2022 22:38

I would not let him visit even though he would be within the rules especially with your job and vulnerable parents

ToykotoLosAngeles · 02/01/2022 22:40

He broke the rules by going to see his girlfriend. It has exactly the same effect as if she left her house to visit him.

He is technically correct that as a close contact he doesn't have to isolate. I didn't after someone I work closely with tested positive and I am still negative 10 days later (LFT and PCR). But I'd not want him to risk my children!

Triplecheeseplease · 03/01/2022 00:21

He’s unreasonable to have seen them and you’re being unreasonable in stopping him seeing his children. If you were a close contact of someone would you not see your children either?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/01/2022 00:40

He totally unreasonable. He can’t possibly expect to go and mix with a covid positive household and then bring covid back to your joint kids, and therefore to you?

HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 03/01/2022 00:44

It might be legal for him to see them, but it would also be stupid. People like him are why this shit show is never ending.

Revelation22 · 03/01/2022 00:47

@HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat

It might be legal for him to see them, but it would also be stupid. People like him are why this shit show is never ending.
It’s not legal.
HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 03/01/2022 01:26

I mean him seeing his kids, not the isolating gf. The rules are different everywhere. Wales now you can do lft each day if you have a close contact instead of isolating.
It's all weird and nonsensical.
If they had norovirus and he had been with them would he risk passing that on? He needs to think in these terms.

Flowersandhearts · 03/01/2022 01:31

Why should he want to risk giving his kids covid. YANBU.

Original poster
PicaK · 03/01/2022 05:10

@Triplecheeseplease

He’s unreasonable to have seen them and you’re being unreasonable in stopping him seeing his children. If you were a close contact of someone would you not see your children either?
If I were a close contact of someone it would be by accident - not because I'd deliberately decided to go visit them in their house knowing they had covid. And kept going back. And yes if my dd6 gets it I'll be isolating with her cos she can't isolate on her own. And DS12 would go stay at his dad's so he could go to school. Which would be a wrench but he's 50/50 and it's temporary.
OP posts:
Original poster
PicaK · 03/01/2022 05:16

I think you're right though. They'll be heartbroken not to see him. I'm not sure i can do that to them.
I just hate that, by close association, I'll now be some idiot who has deliberately, knowingly gone to visit someone who's tested positive. And that really rankles because I'm not that selfish.
I feel so guilty about school.

OP posts:
HailAdrian · 03/01/2022 05:33

You are the one being unreasonable, things are changing no matter how much some of you don't like it.

HugeAckmansWife · 03/01/2022 07:02

It's not really 'people like him mean this shit show will never end' though is it? That ship sailed 2 years ago. Its people getting on with life now that we have vaccines and better treatment. You could argue that IF the kids subsequently test positive he'll need to share the time off work etc to care for them.. I can completely see why the OP would be furious if it all fell to her in this instance but in terms of contact, they should go.

shouldistop · 03/01/2022 07:13

I think yabu, especially as the kids are 50/50 with him. Really what right do you have to stop them from seeing their father? If they go to school they will be in contact with Covid or a close contact of Covid every day.

Original poster
PicaK · 03/01/2022 07:47

One kid is 50/50 the other is 2/7.

OP posts:
shouldistop · 03/01/2022 08:00

@PicaK

One kid is 50/50 the other is 2/7.
Even with that, he's clearly an involved father. I don't think you've the right to stop your children's access. They're at as much risk of catching Covid by going to school.
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