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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is not right for her?

45 replies

Acatinahat · 02/01/2022 21:54

Cousin has rheumatoid arthritis and ulcerative colitis. Lost her job recently as a nanny and now wants to do supply nursery nursing where she goes in to cover staff as and when they need.
She has a BA in childhood studies and I just feel she can do better, not to mention the fact that I'm not sure they would take someone on with her medical issues and the fact she is overqualified.
I know I sound really interfering but I just want the best for her.

OP posts:
emptyempire · 02/01/2022 21:57

I don't know, she may enjoy the flexible working and less responsibility. Her health issues are not their concern; she'll only be paid for the hours she works though. If that suits her, then fine. I would leave her to make her own decision. If she tries it and doesn't like it, there's always another job.

CheshireCats · 02/01/2022 21:59

Wow! It's absolutely none of your business! Butt out and leave her to make her own decisions.

SickAndTiredAgain · 02/01/2022 22:01

I know I sound really interfering

Yes, you do.

I can’t imagine why this is your business if it’s what she wants to do. She’s an adult, if she tries it and doesn’t like it, she can try something else.

LincolnshireLassInLondon · 02/01/2022 22:02

Hi OP, I have ulcerative colitis and one of the many annoying things about it is that it's unpredictable. You can be absolutely fine for ages then really very poorly without much warning or any obvious trigger.

Doing supply work might give her the flexibility to work when she's well and not when she's not, without the stress of letting an employer down.

Stress itself can be a trigger, so if you're calling in sick to work all the time and that's causing stress, you can end up in a downward spiral of getting more and more unwell. This happened to me in my early 20s when I'd not long been diagnosed. With hindsight, I would have been better off doing some temp work and focusing on my health.

Hankunamatata · 02/01/2022 22:02

She is actually being sensible. Assuming it like bank staff, she can pick and choose when/where she works. If she is having a bad health day/week she can rest up.

Pirrip1 · 02/01/2022 22:04

You’re entitled to hold an opinion but, respectfully, it’s absolutely none of your business. She’s an adult and can make her own decisions.

LincolnshireLassInLondon · 02/01/2022 22:04

Also nursery nursing is a hugely important job and should be valued and respected

Knittedfairies · 02/01/2022 22:06

She's not over-qualified if she wants to further her career though. And it's none of your business anyway.

Bluedabadeeba · 02/01/2022 22:07

I am an experienced teacher with a degree, PGCE and master's degree. Just before lockdown, I got in to supply work just before Covid (after working at a school with horrendous expectations). I LOVED it!! Teaching year groups I've not had much contact with, arriving at 8, leaving at 4 with nothing to take home, no working till 11pm /every werkend. A dream for my social life and relationship!

Professionally, I think it was good for me to see different schools, set ups, kids etc. But then along came Covid and ruined all my fun!

She might love it, or it might be just what she needs, right now.. possibly not forever. Lots of people end up getting a full time position off the back of supply work.. good for her to see how the centre REALLY works, rather than just on interview day.

shrunkenhead · 02/01/2022 22:08

While I absolutely see your point, I'm guessing she knows her limitations and sometimes you just have to take on a job that works for you and your situation at the time.
I work in a field that I'm "over qualified" for and that has nothing to do with my degree, but it fits around our family and my health issues so, for us, it's perfect.
For many people we just choose jobs that suit our situations. Perhaps you're more career-driven, and have less restrictions,in which case I can appreciate it's not always easy to see things differently.

GiltEdges · 02/01/2022 22:08

Not sure why you think she's over qualified to be a nursery nurse but not to be a nanny Confused

OldWivesTale · 02/01/2022 22:10

She's not over qualified.

AcceptCookies · 02/01/2022 22:19

I'm overqualified for my most recent job. It takes some of the mental pressure off, given I have other stuff I'm dealing with in family life. I don't take things home, physically or emotionally now. And that is worth more than any pay. And I am worth more than my qualifications. As is your cousin. She might want a life, not just a job. And this is her "work to live" not "live to work" choice.

AlexaShutUp · 02/01/2022 22:21

Is this a reverse or something?Confused

underneaththeash · 02/01/2022 22:25

I can understand my nannying didn't work, you need to not be sick.
She can register with tinies agency and do cover nannying or register on childcare.co.uk and offer ad hoc days too (which will pay more).

User65412 · 02/01/2022 22:31

Why is she over qualified? Many of the staff at my child's nursery have a BA in childhood studies. I also lived with people at university who were doing childhood studies and many of them have gone on to be nursery practitioners?

RuinedReindeer · 02/01/2022 22:32

I think she’s making a sensible choice given what she thinks she can manage at the moment.

I’d be mightily cheesed off if a relative told what job I should be doing

SweetPotatoDumpling · 02/01/2022 22:34

Why do you think she's overqualified? What do you think she's qualified to be doing? And more to the point...what business is it of yours?? Butt out!

TheHoptimist · 02/01/2022 22:36

She isn’t over qualified
She has exactly the right qualifications for that job-a level 3 in childcare

Whichcatthatcat · 02/01/2022 22:38

She is probably not overqualified. In fact, she may not even be qualified at all for that job.
The BA in childhood studies will have to have had suitable modules to allow her to work as a qualified practitioner.

It would also need a significant element of assessed practice in early years.
If she didn't chose those modules, she can work as an unqualified staff member.
This would limit the jobs she could be allocated to as a supply staff member, as any nurseries will want qualified staff.

Good luck to her, I hope she finds work that suits with her health issues.

You don't sound very supportive.

DickMabutt73962 · 02/01/2022 22:42

'She can do better'? Hmm

Barneysma2 · 03/01/2022 08:01

She can do better? Being a nursery nurse isnt good enough for your expectations? News flash...not your life its hers. Butt out.

elelel · 03/01/2022 08:14

This is really odd. Even without the health conditions she is free to choose whatever path she wants. Why on earth are you bothered?

WhatAHexIGotInto · 03/01/2022 08:20

I literally have no idea why this has anything to do with you. Mind your own business.

As for 'she can do better'. What exactly do you mean?

grapewine · 03/01/2022 08:25

You sound interfering about her life and choices and sneery about a choice of job all at the same time. It's really not a good look.

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