MIL disappointed I had a girl

[cakeforthewin]

I feel I should be over this by now but when we announced our first (and only) child was a girl, MIL responded by saying 'it's not fair' and then went on to say how my mother would have one of each (my brother has a boy) and basically it wasn't fair. My daughter is their fourth granddaughter and in my heart I knew they were hoping we'd have a boy. AIBU to think she shouldn't have verbally expressed her disappointment to me? My DD is 3 now and I should be over it I know. I know they love her but I wish she had at least apologised just to get come closure on it.

I think you have to learn to laugh at this. I’m sure your MIL loves her granddaughter and may not even remember venting. I wouldn’t change my DS’s but I did always presume they were going to be girls.

Going back a generation I was the first child so it was ok for me to be a girl. However, when my mother then had a second daughter, my paternal grandmother allegedly stamped back upstairs saying “I ordered a boy”. DSis’s birthday was not added to her birthday book. I don’t know how this would have played out over the years, she died when I was six.

Granny had form, she outrageously favoured DF over his sister. We laugh about it with our cousins because we’re not going to perpetuate the ill-behaviour DF and his sister indulged in.

I don't even know what people think they're getting now with boys/girls/gender. What was she hoping to get from a boy that she definitely wouldn't get from a girl?

I would need to know the tone and the context. It's exactly the kind of thing I'd say in jest, and have no idea that someone had taken it a different way.

She might well have no idea that she did anything she needs to apologise for.

The only thing I can think of to address it, is next time she's being affectionate with her or really enjoying her DGD's company saying lightly "do you remember telling me that it wasn't fair that you weren't getting a grandson? Have you got over that now, then?". On her reply (whatever it is) it's okay to say " I was really hurt you know"

It was my Mother who made the comments (one of the many reasons I’m no contact with her)
Some of her gems
“Every man wants a son and DH would leave me if I couldn’t give him a son”
“Only real women can carry boys”
“One of each is a gentleman’s family and the jackpot”

All said when DC2 was. DD2 she never even bothered to visit when DD3 was born and she’s never met DS the hallowed boy child, she will never favour him over his sisters.

@LittleRoundRobin

What does your DH say?

She does sound like a really rude, and obnoxious woman. Not fucking FAIR! Is she 5! Did she stamp her feet and scream and scream until she was sick.

😂