AIBU for asking you for ideas for a baby

[Helpwanted21]

Hi,

Let me preface this with saying I do not have children myself. I have a friend who is pregnant with their first child and whilst I have agreed to get them a present that they love but couldn't afford themselves I wanted to do more. The friend is currently stressed out about money and how they will afford a child. I would like to alivate this somewhat I have decided I would love to make them a big hamper (I know you can buy hampers but often they are over priced and don't contain enough stuff) so what I am asking here is for ideas of things I can buy to put in this hamper......It can be anything that would be useful for a new parent and thinks that would be used day to day but are added costs that would help. I want this to be useful for the first year of life and am thinking about stuff like nappies and bibs all the small things that soon add up....so please put everything you found useful with your children in that first year that I can include in this hamper!

Thanks in advance :)

Calpol - lots of it.

The most helpful thing anyone got me was a load of boxes of nutritigrain bars and some some made freezer dinners. Worth their weight in gold honestly

Things I have appreciated over the last few weeks...

• a voucher for COOK meals which can be delivered to you and requires zero prep. Taste lovely and was a huge help!
• baby clothes in newborn/tiny baby size as DD was smaller than we anticipated and ended up buying extra clothes in newborn and tiny baby as an emergency!
• Aldi own brand nappies. Cannot rate them high enough!
• Angelcare bath seat which had saved my wrists as I dont have to suppprt DD in the bath (pregnancy related tendonitis)
• white noise machine
• more muslins than you think and then a few more!
• childs farm bath stuff. Johnsons made DDs skin sore after the first use!
• breast feeding pillow and nipple cream
• comfy loungewear and slippers
• some pamper stuff. I felt so much better the day I had a soak in the bath and put some make up on!
• Infacol!
• fleece blanket for napping on the sofa

• the best thing I had, a friend to tell me that I wasnt an awful mother and that baby blues were real. I struggled for the first couple of weeks being a first time mum and i cried endlessly. I didnt know if I was doing things right and didnt feel good enough. But a friend sat me down and told me that sleep deprivation is a killer. Babies cry. You dont have to have a spotless home and that its ok to feel sad. I needed someone to talk to and cry at more than anything else. While DH has been absolutely amazing, I needed a mum friend who has been there before to tell me I was doing well and the feelings I had were normal.

Calpol
Bepanthen cream (on offer at Asda)
Metanium
Decent ear thermometer
Lots of nappies in sizes 1-3
Bath thermometer
Johnson’s bath stuff
Muslins
Vests
Bath towel
Baby grow
Milestone cards
Baby photoshoot voucher
A good water bottle for if she is breastfeeding and monitoring how much she is drinking
Breast pump
Nipple pads
Nursing bra

Sophie le Girafe!

A baby photo shoot voucher would be my worst nightmare.

Def ask. We haven’t used half of this stuff and Ds is nearly 2 years.

A good friend had a baby recently and we said we were happy to spend on something useful, so paid for the car seat she wanted. Just one item, but pricey if your struggling with all the other bits. Plus car seat is one of the things they don’t recommend you buy secondhand due to safely aspect

Napisan! A must for washing poo covered clothes

@JabNotInArm - see we have never used napsian. And we use washable nappies. They actually say don’t use as it destroys the waterproof part. They are still white and clean

If you're going to spend a lot, would it be worth offering to buy one of the 'big' items like pram or cot or car seat?
Lots of the listed things may not be useful depending on her lifestyle.

@Caspianberg - I haven't used reusable nappies but, having had two babies who regularly shit up their backs, I found it so good to put in a bucket of water to soak poo covered clothes, and then to put I a wash to get stains out!

A good quality thermometer. I've seen so many first time mum friends go into complete panic about high/low temps because of a dodgy thermometer, good ones can be pricy. The Braun thermoscan ones a good.

Also, wait for baby to be born and find out what size they are. So many people buy 0-3m or 0-6m clothing for baby but they don't fit when they're first born if they're on the smaller side. Also found, people always bought clothes bigger but didn't consider change in seasons. I had a November baby so got lots of winter clothes that didn't fit him until summer and then were no good.

Also when my second was born, someone, I never found out who, sent us a hamper of ready meals was so useful and no worrying about cooking etc, id had a c section and had a 1yr old too so that was massively appreciated! You could prep lots of meals for her to freeze so she doesn't have to worry about that when she first comes home.

If you're thinking about the first year, I'd get a couple of toys - we found we were given loads of clothes but the gifts we appreciated most were toys from friends who knew what would be popular, as we didn't really know. We did a bag of toys for a friend who had a baby a few months after us and got: a set of black and white sensory cards, a Take Along Tunes, a tummy time mirror, a Winkel rattle, some other things that I forgot - but those were all firm favourites with us.

I found one of those Tuppence & Crumble star fish blankets unbelievably useful, so much easier than trying to bundle baby into coat, she would fuss. I still put my daughter in one when we go out with the carrier (so everyday)

I wouldn't put in anything to do with breastfeeding.

Oh, and we were given some nice bath toys and teethers - the Nuby corn/banana/shark teethers are firm favourites here. And a couple of nice board books - Goodnight Moon and Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes are ones we started reading pretty early on. I reckon if she's worried about money, stuff like this is nice to include as it's sometimes overlooked in favour of basics, but actually so helpful/important to have

The purflo swaddle to sleep sleeping bag. My baby is 2 months old and that and bag helped me get me some much much needed extra sleep!

I'm planning to get my friend this -

Junior's Cart - Baby Nappy Caddy Organizer - Baby Storage Caddy with Handle | Premium Quality with Zipper Pocket | Portable Nursery Storage Diaper Caddy Organiser (Grey) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B097N2YR26/ref=cmswwrcppapiglttfabcTV7YT6KCJRTM3K0Z7DQJ

And fill it with -

Nappies
Nappy sacks
Metanium (nappy rash cream)
Baby moisturiser
Hand sanitizer
Muslins
Gripe water
Wipes

I’d give her the cash, to be honest. That’s what she’s really short of.That way she can prioritise what she needs.

Oh and not forgetting some aveeno hand cream for mum (buy a few) my hands are chapped and very sore from the constant hand washing.

Financially, it's also really hard when you get to six months or nine months and maternity pay starts to reduce but you still need a whole load of stuff. New stuff for sitting, crawly babies.

You could get a token gift now and tell them you will gift £100 (or whatever) worth at six months, when they might need it more?

Cheeky Wipes which are an excellent alternative to buying disposable wipes for three years

It's obviously been mentioned loads but bibs and muslins to the max....but if its a present higher end/quality brands/designs would probably be a nice touch.

Liewood, Aden & Anais, Mori and lots of the scandi brands on Scandiborn are the softest and best quality muslins in my opinion.

I second the Tuppence and Crumble Star Fish blanket, YES, YES, YES to thus wonderful product!

If you're going to get toys stick to functional....teethers, sensory bits etc. Don't get anything cuddly.

Apart from metanium and a decent quality thermometer (great idea) I'd steer clear of anything feeding or bath/medicine related, you don't know how she's going to end up feeding her baby, if her baby might have reactive skin....I've seen someone mention J&J stuff.....awful, awful chemical laden crap, no one should be using this and it would be a terrible choice if the baby had reactive skin.

Overall I think this is lovely, especially if ypu follow some of the ideas on here....money to buy things is a terrible idea, just gives her more work, having someone else go out and collate some nice examples of these things would be a huge help!

What a lovely friend you are op ❤