Partner when he leaves the house

[Myannoyingpartner]

When my partner leaves the house for work etc he always wants a kiss goodbye- fair enough but a quick peck isn't enough for him and he usually keeps hold of me to get a proper kiss so I can't get away until he let's go.
If that's not enough he will often ask for a kiss goodbye then forget something so wander off for 5 mins then expect another one, then he'll put his shoes on and won't come in the house with shoes on so asks me to come to him for another one and gets the huff if I can't because I'm busy, which I am most of the time! I have 2 kids, I work from home and when he's leaving for work I am usually in the middle of trying to work or sort a kid etc.

AIBU to find this annoying!? Or am I just unaffectionate? Surely a quick kiss goodbye is what everyone else does??

YANBU

A full on snog every time he leaves the house? While you’re trying to look after small children.

That would piss me right off.

If his kiss is that important, he can take his shoes back off!

Just say no, he's being either super needy or controlling. Let him huff and don't engage. If he wants a kiss that badly he can take his shoes off.

That would drive me insane. Forced affection is Ick inducing, and him keeping hold of you is unacceptable. If you haven't already, you need to tell him clearly that this needs to stop. I'd be having some firm words with him.

Actually on re-reading, he holds you there so you’ll can’t get away until he lets go.

What a prick.

A hard kick in the balls every time will stop that.

Give him a huge goodbye speech as if he is going of to war...
Fake tears and everything..

He huffs. Tell him you already have children and he can stop acting like another one.

I actually think his behaviour is quite controlling - especially him holding you and not letting you get away, and huffing when you won't stop what you're doing to kiss him.

Is his behaviour normal in other ways?

He sounds really unpleasant, huffing if you don't kiss him as he wants.

So he doesn’t respect your autonomy over your body?

Is he coercive in other ways?

Also, awful role modelling for your DC as regards consent.

So... He wants full on snogs every time he leave the house?

Get rid, he's controlling - almost abusive if he doesn't let go..

If physical contact is what is most importantly to him to feel loved etc then I would do it. He might need it to get through his day. X

Agree with all other posters. This would be utterly maddening. It’s controlling and childish too. Can you start a conversation about it, diplomatically? Assuming you don’t want to just tell him to sod off!

Fuck that!!!

That's horrific to just read about. Talk about how to get someone to hate you!

@fattymumbum

If physical contact is what is most importantly to him to feel loved etc then I would do it. He might need it to get through his day. X

You are kidding!

Yep he wants a full on snog everytime he leaves the house and i also have to say I love you before he goes, which is a perfectly normal thing I know but honestly sometimes I am busy concentrating with work and will look up and say see you later and he'll remind me I need to say it before he leaves 🙄 (that makes me sound unaffectionate, but I do tell him I love him daily, I just don't always remember to say it everytime he leaves!)
He often keeps a hold of me or won't let go until he's got what he wants, I've asked him not too as I hate it but he's strong and alot bigger than me so I physically can't get away.
Alot of the time it's because we are messing around e.g. having a cuddle on the bed or play fighting, but once I've had enough or need to get up as the youngest needs me or something he just won't let go until he wants to.

He's a bull, or worse

Bully

That sounds scary, I would hate it and resent it and I do not think I could live like that.

@Dozer yes I agree I have thought this many times too. If she doesnt want to give him a hug or something he will pick her up and say give me a kiss and then I'll put you down. I know to him he's joking but I feel like its teaching her to do what he says so she can get away. She might only be 2 but she doesnt have to hug/kiss him if she doesnt want to in my opinion!

I wouldn’t go back for a second kiss if I was busy, it would be -
“Sorry darling I’m busy with the kids, bye”
Dont provoke a rift.

I don’t know how you can feel love towards someone who physically abuses you like this.

It’s borderline possible he doesn’t understand the effect of his behaviour, thinks it’s all just affectionate. So spell it out for him very, very clearly- I do not like it at all when you physically restrain me. You must stop doing this.
If he continues, leave him before he rapes you.