To want to text my SiL and tell her….

[Jensonz]

That posting horrendously bad photos of me on social media doesn’t make her look any better! I don’t know what my SiL’s deal is but almost every time we get together she always manages to take the most unflattering pictures of me and then pairs them on Instagram/Facebook. We had her and my nieces over the other night and my dh took some lovely photos of us all. I took (by accident) some not so flattering photos and chose not to upload them to Facebook as my SiL wouldn’t be happy with how she looks. She’s very pretty don’t get me wrong but I’m crap at taking photos and the angles weren’t flattering at all. I just wish my SiL had the same consideration. My dh thinks she has self esteem issues and does it on purpose. I mean would you be annoyed to see photos of yourself in your pjs with your hair scragged back in some really unflattering poses on Facebook or AIBU?

No you’re not being unreasonable. I would ask her to stop uploading photos of you and to remove the ones you’re not happy with.

Don't let her take photos in the future. It's the only way.

It depends. If it’s just a photo of you specifically then YANBU, just tell her to take it down.
If it’s a group photo from an occasion and you just happen not to look great in it then maybe YABU to assume she’s done it to annoy you.
I don’t think I would be happy with any photos of me being posted unless it was a big group type thing.

See in the past she’s messaged me and asked me to take down the odd photo even though I’m really careful what photos I post of people. I of course took them down straight away but in my head I was thinking omg really. So when she’s posted pictures of me I’ve thought sod it she knows what she’s doing and I’m not giving her the satisfaction of me asking her to take the photos done. Still annoying AF though lol.

Oh it’s just photos of me on my own in really unflattering positions. For example one was of me stretching my arms upwards and yawning. It was like almost midnight and I’d got into my pjs to feel more comfortable and she randomly took photos without me realising.

My SIL does this to me too, if there's a photo of me looking fat, disheveled, old etc. She'll post that right away. I have made it so I have to authorise any tags into my timeline. At least that stops it showing yo any non mutual friends. I e recently lost 3st... not a single photo posted since!

@Jensonz

Oh it’s just photos of me on my own in really unflattering positions. For example one was of me stretching my arms upwards and yawning. It was like almost midnight and I’d got into my pjs to feel more comfortable and she randomly took photos without me realising.

I don’t even know why someone would do this, other than to make herself look better and you bad.

That's weird. Does she dislike you?

Aw yes I can relate. I’ve lost about 4 stone this last year but I still have another 2 to lose until I’m classed as a healthy weight. She always asks me about my weight when she visits like how much have I lost this week and how much do i weigh now. It makes me so uncomfortable.

Next time, tell her you have gained 5 lbs and given up on the weight loss, don’t give up obviously, just let her think you have. I’d even go as far as to wear really baggy clothes in front of her, then stun her one day when you get to your goal weight. She’s obviously jealous of you in some way or lacking something in her own life.

Just ask her to remove them. Minimise the time you spend with her and don’t let her take photos on your turf. She’s a cunt by the sound of it and you can’t change that.

I just don’t know what her problem is. I’m not usually overly into my appearance and how I look and I won’t avoid having my photo taken just because I’m not happy with my weight but with my SiL it’s like she goes out of her way to try and make me feel self conscious.

Most of the photos she posted of me on my own was when I wasn’t looking and didn’t know she was taking them. So yeah i didn’t look my best lol.

@Jensonz

Oh it’s just photos of me on my own in really unflattering positions. For example one was of me stretching my arms upwards and yawning. It was like almost midnight and I’d got into my pjs to feel more comfortable and she randomly took photos without me realising.

She just posts them with no context? What a bizarre thing to do. I’d just tell her to take them down and not to randomly post photos of you again because it’s a fucking weird thing to do.

My Mum does this to me too. Picks photos from when I was much heavier, 60lb and makes them her Facebook profile. I am sure it is not done nastily but I hate some of the photos where I am very overweight. I am sure it is just to remind her of the nice places we visited so I don’t say anything

My Sis used to do this. Bad pics of me with my eyes closed or mouth open. Each time, I would msg her telling her to take them down and she did but with no response. She then started posting photos of our DC that I had not realised she’d taken. We hardly ever post photos of us and the DC. We’re relatively private people and do not broadcast our lives on SM. People were commenting on the pics assuming our DC were her and her BF’s DC and she didn’t correct them. I had words with her and she stopped. She then approached me about it months later upset. She just didn’t get it. We had a big row. She hasn’t done it since.

I take the piss out of people who do that and how insecure that person is really. It just reflects badly on them to be honest. Any decent human would make sure everyone looks decent in the photos before uploading, not upload a picture where the profile owner looks fine in it while the rest have one eye open, a mouth full of food, a twitchy face you name it. I would just avoid being in any photos your sil takes from now and say that you only upload pictures where you look good in it while others look like shit.

I respond to the posts with your bad pics of her and say something like "gee, you're nearly as good at taking pics as I am! Maybe we need to do a 1,2,3 cheese LOL"

WTF! It's not even ok that she's taking pictures of you while you're not aware, anf not telling you about them. Going home and then posting them on her social media is a whole other level of weird!! Does she think it's funny or what is the motivation? Is she a teenager or SEN? Or just childish and she doesn't like you? I just don't get it.

You need to have a serious discussion with her about not secretly photographing you never mind not posting it.

Go into the comments section and add a few more photos.
Lovely ones of you and a few less flattering of sil.
Do it every time. She’ll get the message eventually.

She knows exactly what she's doing. Nasty behaviour.
I would ask as cheerfully as possible to take down all the pics that you don't like and also not to take random secret pictures of you. Bc it's that's a bit weird sil isn't it?

My Dsis does this to me too! She is really photogenic and uses filters too to make sure she looks perfect in every shot! She also wears heavy makeup that looks orange in real life whereas I wear sunscreen every day and the result is in photos she looks glowing and I look grey. She's even said that I look better in real life so she knows she is doing it. Mind you she is also constantly seeking validation from social media. She is almost 50!

@k1233

I respond to the posts with your bad pics of her and say something like "gee, you're nearly as good at taking pics as I am! Maybe we need to do a 1,2,3 cheese LOL"

Yes I would treat it like a game and pop some of her up.

What a cow

I don't often advocate rowing over social media, but I think posting is the only way to get her to stop as others will see it. "Gosh SIL you really do have a knack for taking awful photos. And to think I took that bad photo of you down that time. Good job I'm not as sensitive. 🤣"

Something like that but breezier.