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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaning products for Christmas

40 replies

FluffyBooBoo · 01/01/2022 15:53

Hope would you feel about getting a beautifully wrapped hamper of gifts, only to open them up to find toilet roll, wipes, laundry detergent, dishwasher tablets etc?

YABU - it's a great gift
YANBU - it's an awful gift and borderline offensive

Backstory: this is a thread about a Facebook post I've seen, where someone gave that to their friend who suffers from depression. The friend is offended by it, saying they feel it's a judgement on the condition of their house.

OP posts:
Curiosity101 · 01/01/2022 16:01

I've been given exactly that present before. But I don't suffer from depression and my house is clean. I took it in the way it was intended (ie. The person knows I like a clean house and had thoughtfully packaged up their favourite cleaning products as a gift).

In the scenario you describe I think it seems like an insensitive gift unless it had been pre agreed with the recipient. Based on the person saying they're offended I'm guessing it wasn't pre agreed so YANBU.

MadMadMadamMim · 01/01/2022 16:07

Unless you adore cleaning your home then giving someone that kind of gift is an utterly shit present and no one would be thrilled to receive it.

I don't actually know anyone who likes cleaning. I do what needs doing so that we aren't living in chaos, but don't find it fun, satisfying or enjoyable in any way. I'd be utterly pissed off with cleaning materials for Christmas. Not offended - because I don't give a shit whether someone else thinks my home is clean enough. But I'd be pissed off with how crap the present was.

monkeysox · 01/01/2022 16:10

I'd be offended to fuck.

Original poster
FluffyBooBoo · 01/01/2022 16:22

I think I would be confused by it rather than offended. Like, unless you know for sure that's what someone wants, why would you even go there?

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 01/01/2022 16:33

I'd be horrified anybody thought I'd want cleaning products as a gift. Very insensitive indeed.

Livefortherain · 01/01/2022 16:40

It would depend who it came from..

Coming from my judgemental mum who constantly makes comments and puts me down all the time. I would be annoyed.

Coming from my best friend who has helped me multiple times when I've felt overwhelmed and asked for her help with cleaning (she enjoys it, whereas I struggle). I wouldn't be annoyed because I know she'd buy things that are helpful.

Nc123 · 01/01/2022 16:42

I really couldn’t feel pleased with cleaning products as a gift.

LawnFever · 01/01/2022 16:48

It’s a shit Christmas present!

I could get my head round it as a housewarming gift but literally if someone showed up with stuff in bags and said ‘thought you might find this lot useful’ rather than actually wrapped up as a gift.

DistrustfulDinosaur · 01/01/2022 16:49

That's a fairly niche gift isn't it? Not something I'd gift out of the blue. Unless the giver has made comments about the condition of the receipient's house, I'd say it was a shit gift rather than being offensive though.

viques · 01/01/2022 16:51

When my DD left home I gave her a similar gift. Tongue in cheek but with a message iyswim. She has never forgiven me for it..........

Stompythedinosaur · 01/01/2022 16:52

I would be mortally offended - may as well gift someone a banner saying "a woman's place is in the kitchen".

Blush21 · 01/01/2022 16:52

Depends on the person. I had quite a few cleaning and home bits in my stocking from my mother. But was all enjoy a tidy home and recommending new bits we find etc so I was very grateful for them and look forward to using them. But if it was my only gift I would be a bit confused as there are things I’d enjoy more like some new pjs 😂 it depends if the friends confided she struggling and asked for help or not and if she needs these things. Probably not the best gift to give given the circumstances

Flowersandhearts · 01/01/2022 16:54

I'd hate that as a present and I should imagine it's a judgemental gift from someone who has noticed the state if the receiver's house but not the state of their health.

StrangerThanSpring · 01/01/2022 16:54

That's a really cruel thing to do. What goes on in some people's heads I have no idea.

Gladioli23 · 01/01/2022 16:56

I think this would be okay if it also came with a note saying "name the day, I'll be here and we can do this"

It's not cool without that. But I have had a friend who struggled a lot with their mental health where I did intervene - one time she had got to the point she wasn't sleeping on sheets anymore, and another the entire kitchen sink was covered in a weird orange scum. Both times I said I recognised she was struggling and that I was really sorry about that, but also that enough was enough and I couldn't let her live in those conditions - and then sorted both out, doing all the things she couldn't face with her helping where she could. Overbearing? Perhaps. Would I do it again? Yes. Did she mind? Not as far as I can tell.

MrsKDB · 01/01/2022 16:56

Terrible!! I’d be appalled to receive and would not consider giving!

PinkSyCo · 01/01/2022 17:00

To be honest the things you’ve listed are essentials rather than cleaning products so I would just think it was a really crap and boring gift. If the hamper contained things like bleach, windowlene, toilet cleaner, polish and dusters I would be offended though.

Nowayoutonlydown · 01/01/2022 17:03

I saw the original post on Facebook, I love a good cleaning product haul, but would find it strange and offensive if I was given lots of gifts, wrapped beautifully (as the OP had said) individually which contained things like cleaning products would seem like the giver had been pretty unthoughtful.

The op thought her gift was thoughtful and lovely, but I think it would be offensive.

Especially if it were something the receiver of the gift already felt shite about which I assume they do. Its not really the lack of cleaning products, it's the fact that the ladies mental health is in such a place that she doesn't clean.

Also, in her post she said that she "couldn't stand the abuse much longer" did she follow up on that at all? I saw there were lots and lots of comments but lost tge post when I tried to go through comments to see if she had explained what abuse she had been getting

LostForIdeas · 01/01/2022 17:08

On Dh side, this would not be an unusual present if the giver knew that the receiver needed some. DH has given some things along those lines or his mum at Christmas (and nope, I’m not getting involved Grin).

However, in the case you describe, I would have taken it as a PA dig at my house too.

StrangerThanSpring · 01/01/2022 17:08

The op thought her gift was thoughtful and lovely

I'm confused. Did she like the gift or not? Or do you mean the person who wrapped up toilet roll and gave it to her friend who is struggling thought it was a lovely gift but the person receiving it was upset.

LostForIdeas · 01/01/2022 17:09

I have to say the idea of wrapping toilet rolls for Christmas left me Grin[ahock]

ShirleyPhallus · 01/01/2022 17:10

I’d be offended BUT also shocked that anyone has “favourite” cleaning products. Wtf.

Original poster
FluffyBooBoo · 01/01/2022 17:12

Also, in her post she said that she "couldn't stand the abuse much longer" did she follow up on that at all?

I was interested in that too. I didn't see any signs of abuse based on what she posted. I didn't see any follow up to it, but I was surprised at the number of people that seemed to agree it was a good gift!

OP posts:
Idbemonica1 · 01/01/2022 17:12

I love cleaning but would not like to receive a hamper of cleaning stuff. I blame Mrs Hinch for this sort of thing.

AppleButterfly · 01/01/2022 17:13

I'd assume they were hinchers.
A friend of mine posts in her Instagram stories about finally tracking down certain scents of zoflora etc.
I think hinchers are a bit mad and think everyone would love some nice cleaning supplies.