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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to abandon potty training after 6 hours?

62 replies

SomebodysMum · 31/12/2021 15:19

She’s just turned 3.

We started this morning, she totally gets the concept but 0 success, many many wet pants and a couple of poops on the kitchen floor. I wasn’t expecting any successes so far but it’s just the frequency of wees that make me think maybe her bladder just isn’t physically ready. 16 or thereabouts so far.

We did have a dry 45 minutes as she hasn’t drunk much for a while but then she had a drink and less than 10 minutes later there was another wee. Is it supposed to go through that quickly?!

She was a late walker, still can’t jump. Has done other stuff like problem solving way way ahead of milestones but I’m wondering if maybe this is just another physical milestone she just is a bit later than others for.

So AIBU-

Yes - 16 wees in 6 hours is normal for the first day, keep at it

No - she might be physically not ready, try again in a month or so.

OP posts:
Itonlytakesonetree · 31/12/2021 15:21

How long can she maintain a dry nappy for during the day?

CottonSock · 31/12/2021 15:21

I gave up with my dd2 at end of day 1. She was in tears. Funny enough she had some delayed movements and didn't roll until 18 months- despite walking at 10months. Not dry at night age 5.5.

Bagamoyo1 · 31/12/2021 15:22

Does she want to do it? Both of my boys essentially potty trained themselves when they were ready, and it was in the summer each time, so they could wee in the garden!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 31/12/2021 15:22

I think you're going to have to give it a bit longer than 6 hours! At 3 she should be ready for it, even if still wearing nappies at night.

Bagamoyo1 · 31/12/2021 15:23

@Bagamoyo1

Does she want to do it? Both of my boys essentially potty trained themselves when they were ready, and it was in the summer each time, so they could wee in the garden!
And as they were both very ready (age 3 I think) , they literally never had an accident.
Original poster
SomebodysMum · 31/12/2021 15:24

We had about 45 minutes after bath as she hadn’t had a drink for a while, but when she’s drinking her usual amount it’s a small wee about every 20 minutes

OP posts:
MajesticallyAwkward · 31/12/2021 15:25

Is she showing any signs of readiness? Link for info:

www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/potty-training/five-signs-your-child-ready-for-potty-training

My ds is showing the signs but has zero interest in the potty/toilet. Tried him today and he just screamed for a nappy.

I don't know how often is 'normal' to wee, but if your dd is stressed because of the potty training she might not be emptying each time so doing smaller wees?

modge · 31/12/2021 15:25

Has she been showing any signs of readiness or are you starting purely based on age? I wouldn't worry at all about feeling you "should" do it because of age (preschool, at least). My DC was almost 3 and a half before they were ready, but they cracked it immediately.

Original poster
SomebodysMum · 31/12/2021 15:26

@Bagamoyo1

Does she want to do it? Both of my boys essentially potty trained themselves when they were ready, and it was in the summer each time, so they could wee in the garden!
She says she wants to, but also has asked for her nappy back a few times. She also either does not notice or just doesn’t care at all when she has an accident, hasn’t told me.
OP posts:
ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 31/12/2021 15:26

My first two did exactly the same.

I gave up by lunch time on day 1 with both of them.

They were both 3.5 when it clicked.

They were also late walkers! (14 and 18 months)

Porfre · 31/12/2021 15:26

It's not easy.
The problem with nappies is they dont learn to hold it in.
They generally do little wees when ever their body makes the wee.
Most of the time they dont even realise they are doing a wee because nappies are so good at absorbing the wee.

Its only by potty training they start to understand the concept of holding onto the wee- that how it was with mine anyway.

The best way I found to teach them was by having 2- 3 days where I wasnt doing anything else.
And then having them bare below the waist.
But you have to watch them like a hawk.

Within the first two hours they start to realise they are weeing. And they have less accidents.

I think if you've got a few days. Then maybe restart tomorrow am. And keep the child bare below the waist.

NellieBertram · 31/12/2021 15:28

Sounds like you aren’t watching her closely enough - every time she looks like or starts doing anything get her on the potty.
Naked from the waist down for the first couple of days.
Chocolate buttons and stickers for everything in the potty even of it starts on the floor.
Lots to drink so lots of practice.
Give it a week.

Porfre · 31/12/2021 15:29

It follows the oh crap method.

I think try again tomorrow. Bare below the waist and if no improvement then maybe retry in a few months.

Original poster
SomebodysMum · 31/12/2021 15:29

@MajesticallyAwkward

Is she showing any signs of readiness? Link for info:

www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/potty-training/five-signs-your-child-ready-for-potty-training

My ds is showing the signs but has zero interest in the potty/toilet. Tried him today and he just screamed for a nappy.

I don't know how often is 'normal' to wee, but if your dd is stressed because of the potty training she might not be emptying each time so doing smaller wees?

It’s so difficult. She does have some of the signs but not all of them. And she’s not upset and we’ve had a lovely fun day when we’ve had time between cleaning accidents.

Very tempted to leave it til we can at least be outside some more but I basically just want the potty training fairy to come and tell me exactly what to do and when.

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 31/12/2021 15:35

Leave it. Too soon. Wait until warmer weather. Ignore the she oughts from friends/ relatives. She will when she is ready.

Original poster
SomebodysMum · 31/12/2021 15:35

Thanks for the input so far everyone.

OP posts:
Footnote · 31/12/2021 15:38

I waited for signs of genuine readiness and after the first hour or two neither ever had an accident (26 months and nearly 3). Based on that I would think your daughter just isn’t ready.

user1493494961 · 31/12/2021 15:39

Agree with pp, give it a week.

dancemom · 31/12/2021 15:40

Are you putting her on the potty every 20 minutes or so or are you expecting her to ask for it?

NoSquirrels · 31/12/2021 15:41

PP are right that the smaller more frequent wees are the result of nappy-wearing not physical immaturity usually - and the first day or so is always the worst. OTOH there’s no shame in waiting a month.

Have you encouraged frequent potty sitting e.g. every 15-20 minutes, if that’s her natural length of going between wees? Sit on potty for 5 minutes reading a book etc, big praise if it coincidentally happens.

maddiemookins16mum · 31/12/2021 15:41

And this is exactly why these pull ups and disposable nappies simply delay potty training. It was very unusual for 3 year olds not to be toilet trained 35 years ago (I know this as I nannied throughout 1984-1990 and looked after 6 different little girls all under 4).
But this is MN, it’s normal for wains to be in nappies until 4.

OakRowan · 31/12/2021 15:42

No clothes below the waist, I used to set an oven timer for every 20 mins in the end, to have a try, sit on it but not always ending up with a wee, but sooner if after a drink, yes it can sometimes be ten mins later. Poos happened after food. Getting used to using the pottyhaopened quite quickly, a few days, learning this with pants on too took longer, I used to forget yo ask him and then he'd wee on the sofa, the rug, the vigilance was wearing!

Original poster
SomebodysMum · 31/12/2021 15:44

@maddiemookins16mum

And this is exactly why these pull ups and disposable nappies simply delay potty training. It was very unusual for 3 year olds not to be toilet trained 35 years ago (I know this as I nannied throughout 1984-1990 and looked after 6 different little girls all under 4). But this is MN, it’s normal for wains to be in nappies until 4.
Cool so I’ll just pop back in time and not put her in pull ups then.
OP posts:
ISpyCobraKai · 31/12/2021 15:46

Dd wasn't ready until well over 3.
No hassle when when we did it though, one accident of each type and that was that.
I know that's not what most people do, but Dd is stubborn as anything and I wasn't prepared to run around after her and clean/bin loads of pants, total unnecessary.
Unless it's actually vital to something, leave it, you'll save yourself a lot of work.

Original poster
SomebodysMum · 31/12/2021 15:46

@NoSquirrels

PP are right that the smaller more frequent wees are the result of nappy-wearing not physical immaturity usually - and the first day or so is always the worst. OTOH there’s no shame in waiting a month.

Have you encouraged frequent potty sitting e.g. every 15-20 minutes, if that’s her natural length of going between wees? Sit on potty for 5 minutes reading a book etc, big praise if it coincidentally happens.

I have yes, she’ll sit on it with a book and nothing and then wee very shortly after.
OP posts: