Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to prefer my own company more than ever in my 50s

49 replies

whatisforteamum · 31/12/2021 13:36

I don't know why but I'm increasingly preferring my own company now that I am older and menopausal.
Admittedly I've just worked a ridiculous amount of hours over December but even before that people are getting on my nerves.
My tolerance for bullshit has gone and much as I'm more than happy to chat away at work and positively engage with colleagues I love my alone time with music and baking.
No one I really know adds any thing to my life they just drain me with their pointless rants.
Surely I can't be the only crazy cat lady.😂

OP posts:
ivegotamillionkids · 31/12/2021 13:39

Yep 100%!!

I am also a crazy cat/dog lady. Rarely get the house to myself though due to my username Grin

Absolutely love it when I get the chance though and totally with you about draining moaning people. I really can't be arsed with most people - give me a house full of cats any day!

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 31/12/2021 13:45

Oh glad it's not just me ivegotamillionkids 🤣

OP posts:
DressingPafe · 31/12/2021 13:46

Yep, I’m early 50s, 2 cats, wfh and love it! I do not miss “people” at all! I have 2 adult DC and a sister I’m close to, and that is enough for me. It sounds mean but I don’t want to hear about other peoples problems, and yes it is draining. I’m just not interested.

Pegasussnail · 31/12/2021 13:48

I'm 43 and people irritate me.. lol
There are a few who I enjoy the company of but not many. People have become selfish (in my experience) so it's made me want to be alone with my own thoughts.

Lanareyrey · 31/12/2021 13:50

I’m 43 and I feel the same way. Used to be quite the extrovert as well. Tired of people and tired of people getting mad at me when I say I don’t want to drink/getshitfaced/doshitallthetime.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 31/12/2021 13:57

Yes Lanareyrey other people's expectations of me and snide comments when I don't conform which I rarely do.

OP posts:
BenjiMcSchmenzie · 31/12/2021 13:57

I’m 49 and I cannot wait for everyone in my house to f* off back to school/work on Tuesday so I can have the house and dog to myself (I work from home). I soooo understand what you mean about people draining you with their pointless rants. I can’t even bear to open a bunch of WhatsApp messages today because I will feel obliged to reply with sympathy/humour/etc and I just cannot be arsed. I want to hang out with my dog, read, sew and go to bed early. My teenagers can do one as well.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 31/12/2021 14:04

🤣🤣poor teenagers.

OP posts:
Lanareyrey · 31/12/2021 14:36

@whatisforteamum

Yes Lanareyrey other people's expectations of me and snide comments when I don't conform which I rarely do.
It’s so frustrating Angry
fizzypop100 · 31/12/2021 14:43

I'm desperate to get them out of the house but DH is WFH and DS not back at school until 10fh

MmeSosostris · 31/12/2021 14:46

And yet you came on here and posted that🙂

Absolutely not a criticism, just an observation from someone very similar (sadly, sans cat).

I love my own space. I would not talk to anyone given the choice (except the birds). It’s bliss.

Yet, I post on here quite a lot🤨🤔

hivemindneeded · 31/12/2021 14:49

I sort of agree. I would rather be alone than listening to yet another friend complaining about trivia and suggesting we cut a walk short because they just want to sit on their bums nursing a coffee while whining.

But I do long for a few more friends who love a good walk and a cheerful discussion about something pleasurable or interesting.

HaroldMeeker · 31/12/2021 14:58

Similar here. I love my friends and family and enjoy their company for short periods, but I really love being on my own with my sewing, my cats, my books, my music....I've been an antisocial beggar all my life and at 53, it's never going to change. I don't want it to!

Wineisrequired · 31/12/2021 15:01

Yanbu so glad I’m not alone . Even my teenage son is getting on my nerves today . He’s just appeared asking for a lift to party after .

Wineisrequired · 31/12/2021 15:02

Sorry typing to fast I mean he needs a lift later but will probably then need me to collect him at some stupid time as well.

SirChenjins · 31/12/2021 15:05

I’ve found my people! From a safe distance, of course…

I’m becoming completely intolerant of others and I’m happy to work at home, see a few people from time to time, and go for walks with DH and my dog. I was looking at cottages in the Highlands on Right Move yesterday, and there’s a big part of me that is very serious about this.

Whattochoosenow · 31/12/2021 15:07

I’m with you OP. I’ve realised I’m actually an introvert.I’m mot particularly shy or quiet but I find groups of people exhausting and need time to myself to recharge my batteries.

Ionlydomassiveones · 31/12/2021 15:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Malariahilaria · 31/12/2021 15:11

This is a nice, interesting thread. I started hrt a few months ago and whilst the utter rage has calmed, I am still just not interested in so many people's nonsense. My single NY resolution is to cut away all and any negative people completely. I am fortunate that I have 7 or 8 good friends I've known many years spread between 3 different groups who I see every few weeks but everyone else can bog off. Covid showed me how little I missed all these others so I'm cutting them loose. I left fb about a year ago which was such a relief and now am quite happy to engage on here or reddit knowing I can pick up or put down a conversation at any point.

ivegotamillionkids · 31/12/2021 15:12

@MmeSosostris ah but we not actually 'people-ing.'

Having a moan on an Internet forum definitely doesn't count as that is merely typing, and not having to make an actual proper conversation Grin

I've got a week off work soon. Is it wrong that it's when everyone else will be back at school/work?! Hell no!!

HikingforScenery · 31/12/2021 15:14

I’ve anyways enjoyed my own company. I’m not nowhere near my 50s yet but hopefully, I’ll be blessed enough to be there and will continue to enjoy my own company.
I’ve a lovely DH and my DC are brilliant to spend time with but I still relish spending time by myself.
Moving to wfh was a dream

MmeSosostris · 31/12/2021 15:34

@ivegotamillionkids

Ah, that’s ok then. As you were, fellow unsociables. I’ll put the kettle on. 🙂

SallyWD · 31/12/2021 16:04

I'm 47, always been an introvert who needs time alone but I've also been sociable too (in the past). These days I just can't be bothered! I love being alone. I'm perfectly happy (not depressed) but just don't feel like socialising much. Other people drain me. I've always been a people pleaser and described as "too nice" but I can't be arsed anymore. I find I'm becoming assertive for the first time in my life and won't let people take advantage of me or drain
me with their never ending dramas. I like the new me!!

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 31/12/2021 16:35

Yes I've been described as too nice too.
I'm actually quite opinionated too.
I work with young men and find myself defending life decisions to pple who are decades younger,not had children or even left home.
When I get here dh is grumbling about the bins.
This last yr I've taken up exercise and massively long walks in lockdown.They are my solace now the dcs don't need me.
I don't like to socialise as such and I work unsociable hours yet I prefer womens company more now and an exchange of views on here.
I like my own ideas and thoughts and I'm much less needy now.

OP posts:
JanisMoplin · 31/12/2021 16:46

I have gone the other way. I would really like to be more than you, OP. But then I have spent a lot of time being without many friends and now would like the company of other people.