Getting up as a parent

[parentpanic]

Aibu to wonder what time you get up to be with your children in the morning if they are of primary age (ie don't need constant supervision) and how long you leave them to play on their own before you get up with them?

My son was always an early riser. And so was my husband - working days he was at the gym by 6am, non working by 7am. So I was awake anyway. I also have pets. So up around 7 latest, but not necessarily dressed or anything. On the rare day my husband didn't go to the gym we were generally up by 8.

I used to get up, make them breakfast and go back to bed

My DS always had a couple of hours on his own downstairs at weekends and holidays from the beginning of primary. He liked to get up at 8.30 or 9 and I liked 10-11 better.

DD is 10 and gets up at around 8. She comes into my bed with her computer. I tend to lie there with her for a bit before I get up and go walk the dog. She stays in bed for the hour I’m out and then I get back and we eat.

My mum used to get up around 11am. I used to love watching videos and playing downstairs on my own.

6&3 and currently were living on 1 floor, so I don't need to get out of bed as long as I'm awake (or DH is). I'm dreading the renovation being finished in some ways as the kids are ready for the day at 6.30 and I've quite enjoyed lounging in bed until 8 or so - won't be able to do that when the kitchen is back downstairs.

DS5 gets up at 7.30 for school. I'm already up before him. In the holidays, I'm up early still as sadly I just can't fall back to sleep or feel restful after about 6am nowadays. DS has been having occasional lie-ins til half 8/ 9 and I've enjoyed being able to have a coffee in peace.
How about you OP?

I have a four and five year old. They wake around 8am and usually come into me for a cuddle. The 5yo has recently been trained to get them cereal (was a bit messy to start but she's perfected it now). If they want something else for breakfast I'll get up and go back to bed again once they're sorted or send DH to do it. I never go back to sleep though, couldn't if I wanted to! I just read in bed while they potter and play. We have a bungalow so they roam up and down to me and I can hear everything. Usually I get a couple of hours of this if we have nothing planned.

DS is 11. Usually wakes 7:30-8 on a weekend. I always get up with him even though it’s not necessary. Seems a bit wrong to me to be in bed when he’s up!! I actually quite enjoy that time with him.
His mother usually gets up 9-10am

My 10 year old won't go down stairs on her own because she's scared of the dark so I have to get up generally. Often I make a cup of tea and go back to bed but they can't usually play nicely without fighting so I have to referee most of the day.

Ds is 9 and is allowed to read in bed till 7:30, then he says hello and goes downstairs. We get up about 8:30 / 9 for the dog - we could literally not see Ds for days if we let him sit on his tech. We have to leave the house by 7am on school days, so bloody love a weekend lie in!

When Ds was little I would put an individually wrapped croissant, carton of orange juice and his iPad by his bed (I was a single parent then) so I could sleep in past 6am

This is so nice to hear. I am up at 6am with tinies and the thought that in a couple of years I will not have to wake up to screams of mummyyyyyyyy every day is so so heartening

@Wouldyoubaby

Ds is 9 and is allowed to read in bed till 7:30, then he says hello and goes downstairs. We get up about 8:30 / 9 for the dog - we could literally not see Ds for days if we let him sit on his tech. We have to leave the house by 7am on school days, so bloody love a weekend lie in!

When Ds was little I would put an individually wrapped croissant, carton of orange juice and his iPad by his bed (I was a single parent then) so I could sleep in past 6am

Actually genius.

@KCee30

I get up before my kids. Because often the mornings before they wake up is the only alone time I get. Means I have to be up at 6am but I'll take it 😅 not a fan of lying in though and my dc have sen so can't be left alone when awake so I cherish the hours peace I have in the morning 😅

Very similar, down to the SEN. My DC never sleep in, are all over me once up and I need that first quite coffee of the day to have a little physical and mental space to myself.

DS is 5. I get up with him at 6.30/7am. I like spending time with him. I work pretty much full time so the time I get with him is precious. I read to him or play games with him etc.

Ours are 9 and 12 - usually up sometime between 6 and 8. We tend to wake around 6.30, shower around 7.30 and breakfast with them around 8.30.

I am up at 6am with tinies and the thought that in a couple of years I will not have to wake up to screams of mummyyyyyyyy every day is so so heartening

I'm sorry to disappoint you but this doesn't always happen until they are much older (ie approaching teens) in some cases unless you force it on them. Some children will always want to spend time with parents and will only stop coming in to you etc if you actively ignore them/refuse to get up and choose to ignore tears etc. Of course its fine to do just that with older children but prepare yourself that not all children are happy to play alone for hours in the morning of their own choice.

Mine are 9 and almost 7 (and almost 4 but she comes in to bed with us) and we'd leave them for an hour or so.

They watch TV, play, potter about and let us know if they want or need anything.

My mum used to get up around 11am. I used to love watching videos and playing downstairs on my own.

This is interesting as DH's parents didnt like getting up and from a young age he and siblings were made to get their own breakfast/amuse themselves for a few hours and he is very resentful of it. He remembers discovering at a sleepover that his friends parents got up/ate with them etc and feeling sad about it.

We have 11, 9 and 4. I wouldn't leave them in charge of the 4 year old so one of us always gets up with them and take it in turns to lie in at the weekend

Mine are 10 and 8 and I'd happily leave them all morning. One of us is usually up between 10 and 11 though.

Mine know they aren't allowed up until 7, they get their breakfast and watch TV. I get up about 8 on a school day, 9 on a weekend. Kids are perfectly happy with this arrangement but I have to admit I feel some guilt about it, I am just the most horrendous morning person (the early years were tough for me!) and for me to wake up at a time I'm happy with is the soundest overall solution! Mine are 11 and 8 now but have been doing this a few years.

To be 100% honest DH and I do have lie ins obv but never both of us, we take turns so there's always someone up with the kids to eat with them etc. DD wouldn't eat anything at all if left to get it herself.

This is a great thread because I’m glad to see I’m not alone in allowing my kids 2/3 hours of alone time in the mornings

A lie in for me is 8 if I’m lucky enough for my DS to sleep that late (rare!). But he comes and climbs into bed to talk to me and play/read books as soon as he does. If we stay reading books and playing cars in bed whilst I half doze, that’s a lie in for me, but I would never send him or my step children downstairs alone and neither would my DP. The kids range from 3-10 in age and whilst the 10 year old could of course go down alone, the others would all follow and a 10 year old can’t be responsible for much younger siblings.