What is average commute to work for mothers?

[user1461609321]

Hi

Just curious about how long most of you would commute to and from work each day if you have primary/ early secondary age school children?

Just curious about the norms particularly in London and whether this has posed any problems for you?

I currently leave home at 7.30 each morning then back at 6.30pm, eldest in secondary from September, youngest will be yr5, just trying to see how to manage commute/ school runs and ensure adequate supervision of kids before and after school

So my questions;

1. What time are you leaving home in the morning?

1. Who oversees your kids getting ready for school,

1. how old are they and do they get to school on their own?

1. How far is the child's secondary school? How do they get there? How long does it take them?

1. At the end of the school day? Are kids home alone? What time do you get back?

@user1461609321

My DH WFH and currently does school runs for both, but as oldest going to secondary he won't be able to do both kids at the same time, both my job and secondary school will be out of borough but in different directions

In most cases in London, the secondary school aged child would take themselves to and from school on foot/bike/bus/tube or some combination of those even quite long distances.

Very few secondary school aged children in London are taken to school by their parents regularly.

Social death for the kid if mummy and daddy are seen picking them up and dropping off all the time!

I leave at 7:30, kids leave at 8, they get a bus to school in next town, they’re 11&14, sometimes dh is wfh, sometimes they let themselves out, they get back at 4, again sometimes someone is in sometimes not. I work 3 days a week and have a 40 minute commute.

You've got 9 months to get your child ready to do this journey.

Start doing the journey with them next weekend. Ask them to plan it, look up train times, guide you to the right train at the station.

Most 11 year olds manage this without issue. A 20 minute walk is good for them!

Second time, do it again and discuss alternative routes of the train has a problem - help them look up bus routes etc.

Third time, go there the correct way but on the way back, take a an alternative route.

Stick the citymapper app on their phone and all they ever have to so is hit the "get me home" button and it will guide them all the way, taking into account any rail closures etc.

My main tip would be get them to pick a proper rucksack so they aren't lugging their stuff in some sort of impractical shoulder bag. And get a packable pac a Mac rain coat to hide in the bottom of their bag where no one can see it but they can throw it on if it's pissing it down. Most secondary school kids are oddly resistant to wearing coats

I WFH and in pre covid times I worked flexi time (technically still do) to allow me to do the school run in the morning.

A long commute would have killed me off.

I used to leave the house at 5.30am for a day shift so dh would get them up and sorted and drop off at childminder at 7. I would get home around 9pm so he also picked up, cooked, took to clubs and sports and sorted bedtime. If I was on nights I left home at 5.30pm so dh still cooked, and all the rest of it and I got home 9am so he did ask the morning stuff too.

I now leave home at 8am and get back at 5pm. If dh were working from the office then he would leave earlier and get back later than me so I would do childcare stuff but he's been working from home all through covid so he still does it all.

Our household somewhat bucks the wifework trend but I'm very aware tat our does typically still fall to women to race around and work around the kids.

I'll be back to a much longer commute soon so it'll probably still be dh's job.

Pre WFH

1. What time are you leaving home in the morning? 8am

1. Who oversees your kids getting ready for school, me and OH

1. how old are they and do they get to school on their own? 9 and no. I drop at SIL for 8:05 and arrive to work 8:20

1. How far is the child's secondary school?

When he’s old enough it’s 0.2 miles. He’ll have a key and come and go.

1. At the end of the school day? Are kids home alone? What time do you get back?

My mum gets him. Once he’s at secondary he’ll walk home and be alone for 2 hrs

I leave around 6.30am. Dp gets the dc (primary age) up and on the bus to school at 8am. After school they go to a childminder twice a week or home to dp or sometimes dm comes over to have them. These days I can sometimes work at home and have them after school.

My commute is an hour and a half.

I should add that over the years 2 it of 3 is have progressed to secondary so sort themselves and go by bus, just the one child left who needs wrap around care. They could realistically walk too and from school no problem but we need to keep the childcare space in case dh ever goes back to the office!

Leave the house at 6:50, get home at 18:00. I’m a teacher though so I do get to see more of the DC during holidays than most parents.

Currently wfh due to Covid but in normal times:
1hr commute. I work 8-4, train is 6.53am. DH takes kids to childminder at 8am then gets train at 8.20 (also 1hr commute).
I leave 4pm, literally run from station to collect kids from CM at 5pm.

I work 3 days a week and juggle it around my husband so that one of us is at home to do the school run for my youngest in primary school. I usually leave at 7.30 and am home by 4. If my husband's job wasn't so flexible, it would be trickier. Before covid, I worked full time 7.15-5.30, my husband was in London 4 days a week and my children went to a childminder in the morning and after school club in the afternoon. So much better now!

I forgot to add that my oldest is at secondary. She leaves at 7.45 to get the train with friends. She's home at 4 but sometimes I pick her up if I'm able to, I like being at home for when she gets back and feel lucky that I'm able to.

Leave house 8.10am, drop DD at secondary school for approx 20 past 8 then go straight to work for starting at 8.45. She could walk (and so could I) but I pass the school on the way to work. She gets herself ready, she's 12.

Oh and at end of day she walks or gets a run home with her friends mum. Has a key and lets herself in till we get home just after 7. Sometimes older DD is at home depending on her work shifts.

Ffs just after 5..... not 7!!! I don't leave her on her own that long

Sorry, but you need to get your 11 year old to be independent until September.

Start doing the journey together at weekends and then he can do it alone during the Summer holidays to see how long it takes and what he needs to do.

Get him google maps and bus/train apps and teach him how to use it.

Most of DD's classmates are walking around 20 minutes or more. It's absolutely normal and he will find enough mates to not walk alone.

He may have same day 10 minutes detention, he may join a club after school. The train may be cancelled. All this has to be learned.

I second a decent backpack as he most likely will also have to carry PE kits around.

@3WildOnes

I’m not sure what the problem is. Secondary school children should be taking themselves to school and back unless there is SEN. Mine have been getting themselves to school from year 5/6.

I think I have PFB syndrome, child never been left home alone or travelled independently so this will be a big transition for us all

I feel really paranoid about street safety in south London, gangs, country lines etc even just getting lost etc

Also apologies that question posed to mothers, I mean both parents but assuming that I am more likely to get responses from mothers on this site

Used to be ;
Drop kids at 855
Drive to work
Clock in by 930
Partner would get them at 3pm
We worked alternate shifts
His day off I started at 5am
His late shift he would drop them at 12 I would pick up at 5
Saved half a days fees
We used to be like “ ships in the night “

South London. Hour and 15 min commute to the office. In the office 3 days and wfh 2 days.

On the days that I am in the office I leave at 7.30am and DH wfhs so takes youngest (year 4) to school, or takes youngest to school and then goes onto the office. Year 8 child walks herself to secondary about 30 minutes or catches a bus if weather bad (and walked herself to primary in year 5 and 6). I wouldn’t have considered an out of borough school myself to be honest.

Eldest is allowed to be by herself for an hour or two.

@MojoMoon

You've got 9 months to get your child ready to do this journey.

Start doing the journey with them next weekend. Ask them to plan it, look up train times, guide you to the right train at the station.

Most 11 year olds manage this without issue. A 20 minute walk is good for them!

Second time, do it again and discuss alternative routes of the train has a problem - help them look up bus routes etc.

Third time, go there the correct way but on the way back, take a an alternative route.

Stick the citymapper app on their phone and all they ever have to so is hit the "get me home" button and it will guide them all the way, taking into account any rail closures etc.

My main tip would be get them to pick a proper rucksack so they aren't lugging their stuff in some sort of impractical shoulder bag. And get a packable pac a Mac rain coat to hide in the bottom of their bag where no one can see it but they can throw it on if it's pissing it down. Most secondary school kids are oddly resistant to wearing coats

All of this ^

It seems scary now (particularly as all dc have been out and about less for the las 20 months or so), but they grow up a lot. It is your job as parents to prepare them and get them ready for the next stage in life.

Twice a week pre-covid times I would get the 6:22 train, get to work around 7:45, work until 3:45, and pick DC up from after school club around 5 on my way home. We sorted our schedules so the days I went into work my DH worked from home so could deal with the school run etc and vice versa.

Now we work from home full-time so there is no juggling. Most days I get the DC ready for school, DH takes them (30 min walk) while I start work and I then pick them up and as DH finishes work later than I do.

Biggest cause of death for UK teenagers is accidents, specifically being hit by a car.

I don't tell you that to try and make you worry about that instead but to point out that your fears about drugs gangs are statistically very unlikely.

You need to get training them now on road crossing as well as taking the train, bus etc. You have 9 months, it's plenty of time. When you go out tomorrow, get them to lead at road crossings.

And make sure they can swim. Drowning is the next most common cause of accidental death in teenagers (although rates very low compared to cars)

When I worked in London used to leave house at 7:20am get the train in, then I'd get home about 8pm, my dc was a baby though and I found that easier than when they went to school. When they went to school I gave up work for a bit and now wfh pt thank god.

What time are you leaving home in the morning?

In the past I used to leave at 715 and drop the kids at breakfast club. Now I wfh so the kids leave between 815 and 830 to walk or get the bus.

Who oversees your kids getting ready for school

In the past me as back then DH worked away from home now both of us wfh so we share.

how old are they and do they get to school on their own

That was from age 1 till age 7. Then I changed jobs and no longer had a commute so the kids got the bus to school. Now they are 9 and 13.

How far is the child's secondary school? How do they get there? How long does it take them

Primary school child gets bus and secondary school child walks - takes him 10 minutes.

At the end of the school day? Are kids home alone? What time do you get back

In the past they went to after school club.

Now we wfh.