What is average commute to work for mothers?

[user1461609321]

Hi

Just curious about how long most of you would commute to and from work each day if you have primary/ early secondary age school children?

Just curious about the norms particularly in London and whether this has posed any problems for you?

I currently leave home at 7.30 each morning then back at 6.30pm, eldest in secondary from September, youngest will be yr5, just trying to see how to manage commute/ school runs and ensure adequate supervision of kids before and after school

So my questions;

1. What time are you leaving home in the morning?

1. Who oversees your kids getting ready for school,

1. how old are they and do they get to school on their own?

1. How far is the child's secondary school? How do they get there? How long does it take them?

1. At the end of the school day? Are kids home alone? What time do you get back?

Before Covid

1. 7.30am (train to London at 8.04, at the desk at 9am)

1. Me

1. now 14 and goes to school alone since secondary /Y7

1. 40 min walk

1. DD comes home at 4pm, DH normally works from home anyway but if he has trips/meetings she is alone until I was back at just after 6pm

Primary - DD went to a childminder at 7.30am with me and DH picked her up at 5.15pm. In Y6 she walked to and from school alone if DH was at home and if not she would be at the CM in the morning but walked alone home and was there for 2 hours but only from Summer term onwards as preparation for secondary.

I'm a primary school teacher in the next town to where I live and my DC's school. I get up for 6, get the children ready, drop them off at breakfast club (open from 7am) and go to work, I get there for about 7:30 if I drive fast enough/don't hit the traffic. I then leave for 4pm and collect the kids from after school club at 5!

I’m not sure what the problem is. Secondary school children should be taking themselves to school and back unless there is SEN. Mine have been getting themselves to school from year 5/6.

@user1461609321

My DH WFH and currently does school runs for both, but as oldest going to secondary he won't be able to do both kids at the same time, both my job and secondary school will be out of borough but in different directions

Why can’t the one going to secondary get themselves there? That’s normal at that age.

Not sure why you’re only asking about mothers, parents in general would make more sense.

I have two DCs: one at primary, one at secondary school. I work 4 days a week, two days (currently) in the office. I work in HE so need to be on campus part of the week to support our students.

1. What time are you leaving home in the morning? 8.25am and drop off youngest at school on way.

1. Who oversees your kids getting ready for school? DH and I do it together.

1. how old are they and do they get to school on their own? I walk the youngest to school (only half a mile). The eldest walks 40 mins to secondary school.

1. How far is the child's secondary school? How do they get there? How long does it take them? See Q3.

1. At the end of the school day? Are kids home alone? What time do you get back? DH is wfh at the moment, so is at home when eldest returns. Youngest has 2 days a week at after school club and I collect them on way home. Am usually home by 6pm at the latest - my commute to work is only 15mins by bike, or a 40mins walk.

Pre pandemic had an after school nanny but now the plan is

• 7.20- drop one dc at breakfast club (senior)
• 7.30 - drop other dc at breakfast club (prep - can't be dropped pre 730)
• drive to station jump on train by 7.50
• at desk in london by 9

Return

• 4.45 - leave desk run like lunatic to station to get 5 train
• 5.50 - pick up dc from prep

6.00- pick up elder dc from senior school.

Get home, drink wine

My commute was very similar to yours when I had pre schoolers up to one in nursery one in school. Reduced it to about half hour commute with after school clubs for a few years but have WFH since the pandemic and will likely only go in one day a week (one hour commute) now they're primary/secondary. I use after school 3 days a week, no breakfast club, I work very flexibility.

Life is much easier now I WFH but to be fair I found ways to make the commute productive previously.

When both are in secondary I'd consider a longer more expensive commute again if my career progression required it.

Secondary age school children get themselves to school and back.

Can you explain what the problem is?

As far as I can remember - we left home at 7.30 am and dropped at school at 8. I used to get to work about 8.30 and then leave at 5ish to collect from after school club between 5.30 and 6. 30 mins home. In the mornings I probably used to do the organizing. In the evening for dinner, etc. we both pitched in. Mine's in her last year of secondary now so I haven't even thought about this for years. After nearly 2 years of working from home, the idea that we were up and ready to leave the house at 7.30 seems a thing of wonder!

Unless we are still in the 1950s I am not sure why the commute for mothers is different to any other parent?
Let's move with the times please.
The automatic assumption the mother should be the one providing the majority of the childcare/limiting her commute and career is frankly boring.

I used to get up at 6am, leave the house by 7.15, drop eldest DC to school first, then second to childcare, then work. At hometime I got eldest from school, littlest from childcare and got in for maybe half 5 if lucky. I also did a degree and MA so for 4 years dropped eldest at school then drove 2 hours to uni.

I now don't have to drop either and I feel like I've been released from some kind of sentence!

Surely dh can continue to do the primary school run and the secondary school child can use the bus?

I work from home 3 days a week. The other two I commute 25ish minutes each way working 8-5 approx. Use a nursery right now for youngest, eldest is secondary and gets herself off the bus. When I commute I drop her en route early.

When younger two are in school I'll use wraparound nursery care or an au pair if there is some provision created to make them possible post Brexit. But I can work flexibly and leave early, do the school run and log in later. I work for a great organisation.

1. What time are you leaving home in the morning?
8.45am with kids

2. Who oversees your kids getting ready for school
ME

3. how old are they and do they get to school on their own?
13 yr old walks from home to bus stop and gets bus to school (leaves 8.10am), I take primary dc to school

4. How far is the child's secondary school? 5 MILES
How do they get there? BUS
How long does it take them? 20 MINS ish

5. At the end of the school day?Are kids home alone? What time do you get back?
Primary kids go to afterschools and DH collects as I work late 7pm due to dropping kids to school,
Secondary child goes to grandparents, hates being home alone so wont do that (plus totally his grans fav)

Should add my commute is 15 mins drive due to missing rush hour after dropping kids off and working later. We deliberately brought house near my work as I hate commuting

Also my commute is about 35-45 mins (30 miles) either way, traffic dependent.

I used to work in Central London, until recently. Here was my routine

7:30am leave home for school breakfast club/childminder.

8am -train to Central London

4:30-5:30pm - OH picks up children from after school club/childminder.

6:30-7pm, I get home from work.

DS recently started secondary school so i used to walk him to the bus stop at 7:30am at the same time I took DD. He could leave 15 minutes later, but he's not quite organised enough for that yet.

He comes home by himself and is home by 4-4:15. The childminder lived a literally around the corner so we've told DS he could go there if needed.

DD will be in year 6 in September, so we are going to get her to start walking by herself. I now work from home, so I don't need childcare anymore, but if I was still commuting, I'd still have to use morning childcare.

Primary - lived opposite the gate. I would leave at 7.15am to get to work for 8.30am. Her Dad dropped her in school. Re pick ups, I left work at 5pm to rush as fast as I could to get her from after school club at 6pm. I was sometimes late, got fined, v stressful!
Secondary - Year 7, walked her there in the mornings, picked her up in the afternoon as she was unconfident and I was working from home (Covid restrictions really helped me as it would have been tricky if I was working in the office). Now she’s in Year 8, she is walking herself there and back (7 minutes). I work two days a week in the office for now and on those days she is on her own from 3.30pm until 6.00pm at home but is managing okay.

1. What time are you leaving home in the morning? It depends but usually around 8am

1. Who oversees your kids getting ready for school? Me and husband - we take 45 mins each and spend the other 45 mins overseeing child, feeding pets, emptying dishwasher, etc

1. how old are they and do they get to school on their own? 7, no they are driven

1. How far is the child's secondary school? How do they get there? How long does it take them? Child is primary age but will hopefully stay at the same school for secondary. She will still need to be driven as there are no pavements to walk safely

1. At the end of the school day? Are kids home alone? What time do you get back? Currently collected by a nanny. When not working from home one of us needs to be back by 6:30 unless we have arranged overtime.

@2022success

Secondary age school children get themselves to school and back.

Can you explain what the problem is?

Not necessarily- depends where you live. We are rural and there are no public buses to our DC's secondary school and it isn't on a road that is walkable.

I am single, work 30 hours a week out of the home and have a DS at primary. Monday and Tuesday are full days, on Mondays DS goes to wraparound club - this is the longest day, we leave at 7.15am. He gets to breakfast club for 7.45 and I start work at 8.30. I finish work at 5pm and pick him up at 6pm from wraparound. On Tuesdays I am lucky to have grandparent help to take him to school and pick him up. Wednesday and Thursday I work school hours and Friday I just work the morning and finish at 1pm.

When he starts secondary school he will have to walk or bike there and back himself, it's only a 20 minute walk from our house. My workplace is 10 minutes walk from my house so if there's an emergency I can be home straight away. He'll probably have to be on his own after school for a couple of hours just on a Monday.

My commute is 2 hours, but I only do it once or twice a week at the moment as I WFH the other days.

I get up at 6, get ready for work and then get DC to school, then leg it to the station and work on the train, I do anything I need to do face to face at work and then come home whenever I can, sometimes that's me getting back at 5, other times I'll walk in the door at 11. DH does pick ups and any clubs on those days. He also works full time but compresses his hours and works Flexi time etc to be able to do it.

I used to travel all over England, I would do the morning and drop them off at breakfast club at 7.45, DH would collect between 5 and 6. Last term of primary DD walked home and would be home alone from around 4 til 6. We live in a really boring cul de sac and she knows all of our neighbours.

I have worked mainly from home since March 2020 and they now go to different secondaries, DDs is about 15 mins drive but DS is then another 12 miles away about another 30 minutes. We leave at 7.30am. DS catches the school bus two mornings a week and leaves at 7.10. At night they can both stay for prep til 6 and DS does a club 3 nights a week, it usually takes me 1.5 hours to collect them both and get home. DS gets the bus home a couple of nights and gets back at 6.45. So no commute but ridiculous school runs. I work for myself though so do a few hours after dinner to make up for it. It’s a long day for DS but he knew this and was still desperate to go to the school, they get long holidays to recover too!

@user1461609321

My DH WFH and currently does school runs for both, but as oldest going to secondary he won't be able to do both kids at the same time, both my job and secondary school will be out of borough but in different directions

But can’t your secondary school age child get him or herself to school and your DH continue to take the younger one to school? What’s the issue? Why do anyone else’s arrangements matter?

@JurgensCakeBabyJesus

Surely if your DH WFH this isn't an issue secondary school they can get the bus to school and back again your DH will be back from primary pick up before they are back on the bus

DH will be home after school, I was more anxious about a newly 11yr old who has never traveled without us going on 2 different trains in London even though for very short journey. DH will be getting youngest from school, I am going to suggest DH meet oldest in car outside train station so he doesn't have to walk the 20min walk through town centre to get to our house