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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you shouldn’t have to wait 4 weeks for a termination?

50 replies

Crotiq · 29/12/2021 21:40

Just that really. Found out very very early and I was comfortable with my decision, mostly because I was having it so early on.

I had to wait two weeks for the initial appt on the phone (today). Now I have another date for a scan and to see the nurse in two more weeks.

I’ll be 8+ weeks when it goes ahead. I’ve had 3 children. I know there is a big difference between a 4 week pregnancy and an 8 week pregnancy.

They won’t do the pills by post method as they want me to have a scan as two previous c-sections.

AIBU to think women should be able to access abortion nigh on immediately in 2021?

OP posts:

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 29/12/2021 21:50

I'm assuming this is the NHS? Could you go private?

MrzClaus · 29/12/2021 21:53

It's a medical procedure - there's got to be some steps for approval / provision of service, they can't just post a pill out if there's things they need to check.

Tbh, with everything that's going on and how stretched services are, that wait time doesn't seem unreasonable.

Tippexy · 29/12/2021 21:54

It sounds like it is your medical history that might be lengthening the timeline, unfortunately. Hope you are ok

Original poster

Crotiq · 29/12/2021 21:55

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe I asked them about going private, they said it wouldn’t be much quicker.

I could try and access a private clinic instead of the private arm of Marie Stopes

OP posts:

DuchessofPemberley · 29/12/2021 21:56

@MrzClaus

It's a medical procedure - there's got to be some steps for approval / provision of service, they can't just post a pill out if there's things they need to check.

Tbh, with everything that's going on and how stretched services are, that wait time doesn't seem unreasonable.

This. I do feel for you, and the wait must be hard, but it sounds like there’s good medical reasons for it and at the moment services are stretched to breaking point.

BadgerHonour · 29/12/2021 22:00

I’m sorry you’re having to wait

PollyannaPumpkinPie · 29/12/2021 22:00

YANBU, both NHS and FPA guidelines are that an abortion should take place within 10 working days of the decision to end the pregnancy. However, it's been well documented for several years now that wait times far exceed this and vary wildly depending where you live.

Is this an NHS referral? Would it be quicker if you could afford to go private? I'm guessing they are concerned about prescribing the pills as there is the possibility of a uterine rupture or post-abortion bleeding/haemorrhage due to the c-sections?

I'm sorry that you (and many other women) are in this awful position, it's so wrong and adds more worry to an already stressful time

TicTacHoh · 29/12/2021 22:01

I went private for the same reason, OP. The pills were posted next day. It was expensive but I couldn't have waited much longer. I used the Gynae Centre

AlmostAJillSandwich · 29/12/2021 22:01

That's shocking and actually really upsetting. Nobody ideally wants to have a termination, having to wait with the fetus growing inside you must be devastating, especially if it crosses from medical to surgical termination.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 29/12/2021 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Foxglovers · 29/12/2021 22:04

I had exactly the same a few years back and I found out pretty much as soon as I possibly could. I had bad nausea as well to add to it. Nevertheless- happy with my decision- just wish it hadn’t had to be dragged out. Good luck xx

Newmumatlast · 29/12/2021 22:05

@Crotiq

Just that really. Found out very very early and I was comfortable with my decision, mostly because I was having it so early on.

I had to wait two weeks for the initial appt on the phone (today). Now I have another date for a scan and to see the nurse in two more weeks.

I’ll be 8+ weeks when it goes ahead. I’ve had 3 children. I know there is a big difference between a 4 week pregnancy and an 8 week pregnancy.

They won’t do the pills by post method as they want me to have a scan as two previous c-sections.

AIBU to think women should be able to access abortion nigh on immediately in 2021?

I absolutely agree. I had IVF and so had an early scan at about 7 weeks and then again at 10 weeks. I am very strongly pro choice but I personally think I'd struggle with an abortion even at those stages. Definitely 10 weeks or more. So I agree with you it isnt fair to make you wait that long. I appreciate that they have to assess and make sure it's informed consent but it shouldn't take so long and can add to trauma unnecessarily

PlanktonsComputerWife · 29/12/2021 22:06

I'm sorry. It must be extremely upsetting.

Pollingbadly · 29/12/2021 22:06

That was uncalled for "Green*

RaisinforBeing · 29/12/2021 22:07

This happened to me. They wanted me to be in a medical centre due to slightly high blood pressure and this couldn’t happen until 11 weeks when I had contacted them at 5 weeks. I couldn’t go ahead with that and my child is about 6 years old now. The service is appalling.

TicTacHoh · 29/12/2021 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

Lollipop567 · 29/12/2021 22:07

This is why I ended up going private years ago. I took out a loan as I simply couldn’t bear waiting any longer. Good luck

stillsleeptraining · 29/12/2021 22:08

That's shit. I'm very, very sympathetic

emailaddressplease · 29/12/2021 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

Barbie222 · 29/12/2021 22:10

That's so unfortunate, I think it will likely be because of your obstetric history rather than anything else but it still must be very upsetting.

Cbtb · 29/12/2021 22:11

I feel for you. I think the issue here is the need to have the scan. They will need to check the pregnancy is not in a dangerous place that would mean the abortion pill is dangerous to gave. This may well mean needing to scan post 6-7/40 because pregnancies can be too small to see before that.

Wakemein2023 · 29/12/2021 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

4pmwinetimebebeh · 29/12/2021 22:13

It’s so difficult OP and I feel for you. If you mean ‘in 2021’ as in, in this day and age of respecting womens wishes and recognising the importance of a safe and timely ToP I am 100% with you. Sadly we are ‘in 2021’ the year the nhs is teetering on the brink of ruin. Patients are waiting for heart operations, brain tumour removal, chemotherapy and terminations. All hugely mentally, physically and psychologically devastating but sadly not the fault of the individuals running the service by the pressure on an underfunded and undervalued service at the best of times. Hope it happens as soon as possible and goes smoothly.

HeyFloof · 29/12/2021 22:31

I'm so sorry you're going through this experience. You should not have to wait 4 weeks.

Poppinjay · 29/12/2021 22:32

There are far too many people left waiting far too long for NHS treatment at the moment. MY 18YO DD included. She has so far missed eight months of school waiting for relatively simple surgery.

This feel awfully like the death throes of the NHS.

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