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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you shouldn’t have to wait 4 weeks for a termination?

50 replies

Crotiq · 29/12/2021 21:40

Just that really. Found out very very early and I was comfortable with my decision, mostly because I was having it so early on.

I had to wait two weeks for the initial appt on the phone (today). Now I have another date for a scan and to see the nurse in two more weeks.

I’ll be 8+ weeks when it goes ahead. I’ve had 3 children. I know there is a big difference between a 4 week pregnancy and an 8 week pregnancy.

They won’t do the pills by post method as they want me to have a scan as two previous c-sections.

AIBU to think women should be able to access abortion nigh on immediately in 2021?

OP posts:
HeyFloof · 29/12/2021 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/12/2021 22:36

I’m sorry you’ve got this wait and this extra worry Flowers

NoSquirrels · 29/12/2021 22:40

@4pmwinetimebebeh

It’s so difficult OP and I feel for you. If you mean ‘in 2021’ as in, in this day and age of respecting womens wishes and recognising the importance of a safe and timely ToP I am 100% with you. Sadly we are ‘in 2021’ the year the nhs is teetering on the brink of ruin. Patients are waiting for heart operations, brain tumour removal, chemotherapy and terminations. All hugely mentally, physically and psychologically devastating but sadly not the fault of the individuals running the service by the pressure on an underfunded and undervalued service at the best of times. Hope it happens as soon as possible and goes smoothly.
What she said.

I’m sorry you have to wait. It’s shit and hard as fuck.

I understand why and it’s brilliant we still have a choice under a free-to-access healthcare system.

Flowers
MaybeHeIsMyCat · 29/12/2021 22:42

@Cbtb

I feel for you. I think the issue here is the need to have the scan. They will need to check the pregnancy is not in a dangerous place that would mean the abortion pill is dangerous to gave. This may well mean needing to scan post 6-7/40 because pregnancies can be too small to see before that.
Yep. I was told it was too early and I had to wait (I was about 6 weeks then)
1FootInTheRave · 29/12/2021 22:43

There are medical reasons as to why it can't be done at 4 weeks.

Couchbettato · 29/12/2021 22:52

Go private OP.

I had one, though not in the pandemic, and it was done in just under 2 weeks.

You should not have to wait that long. That's an abomination.

Ilovemycatsomuch · 29/12/2021 22:59

I could be wrong here, but as previous poster said, I think you can't have an abortion until it is possible to see the pregnancy on a scan. That is normally at around 6 weeks.

Original poster
Crotiq · 29/12/2021 23:22

During covid they changed the rules so you could have a medical abortion without a scan or being seen in person. I was hoping this would be the case.

I understand they need to scan me to check it isn’t ectopic etc but another 2 weeks to wait for the scan feels like a lifetime.

OP posts:
adviceplease2039 · 29/12/2021 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

SpindleSpangle · 29/12/2021 23:25

It's ridiculous to have to wait 4 weeks

chiefcha · 29/12/2021 23:36

I'm sorry to hear this is still happening. I had a termination almost 20 years ago - took a test the day my period was late and made an appt the same day. Literally couldn't have requested it earlier, yet still had to wait until I was 9 weeks for surgical. I really would have hoped it was easier for women nowadays. Flowers

WonderfulYou · 29/12/2021 23:54

I get why you can’t have it the same day and you need to wait as these things take time but 4 weeks is ridiculous. It shouldn’t take anymore than 2 weeks absolute max!

I wonder what would happen if you were 4 weeks from the date of illegal termination. Would they push you through.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 30/12/2021 00:07

My apologies if I have offended anyone. Especially the OP. I didn't mean to be snidey. I've just been on the receiving end of it a bit too much recently.

But you just can't expect to get anything medical done straightaway at the moment. Nothing is straightforward.

ExpulsoCorona · 30/12/2021 00:33

@Crotiq

During covid they changed the rules so you could have a medical abortion without a scan or being seen in person. I was hoping this would be the case.

I understand they need to scan me to check it isn’t ectopic etc but another 2 weeks to wait for the scan feels like a lifetime.

The pills used for termination are the same as the ones used for induction of labour. In patients who have had previous c-section there is a risk of uterine rupture. They can't risk rupturing your uterus OP.
FlamingoYellow · 30/12/2021 10:32

I had a termination at home 2 weeks ago and it took 3 weeks to get the tablets sent to me. No medical complications. I wanted a surgical TOP or, failing that, a medical one at the clinic because I was so scared about something going wrong, but I was told I would be 12 weeks+ before they could fit me in for that.

I called my GP to see if they could get me an earlier appointment and was told that this is just how it is at the minute. My GP told me that another patient of hers who was pregnant in very traumatic circumstances had ended up having to travel up North (we are in the South) to access an abortion earlier.

I was 8+5 when I had the termination. The nurse on the phone had told me it wouldn't look like anything - she lied. I was totally distraught, I'm just lucky I had my boyfriend there for support, who was amazing.

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. I wish I could help you and all the other women who are in this position Flowers.

MrsHippopotamus · 30/12/2021 10:38

The pills used for termination are the same as the ones used for induction of labour. In patients who have had previous c-section there is a risk of uterine rupture. They can't risk rupturing your uterus OP.

I never knew this! So as I’ve had 2 c sections (and was told I have a thin uterine lining), I wouldn’t be able to get an early abortion?

MrsHippopotamus · 30/12/2021 10:39

Sorry to interrupt your thread OP, hope you manage to get seen soon Flowers

nopun · 30/12/2021 10:54

I'm so sorry you have to wait so long, I don't think expecting to be treated faster is at all unreasonable. Not quite the same but a few years ago I had a missed miscarriage, detected via scan at about 6 weeks. I was given an appointment for the surgical extraction of the fetus 4 (!) weeks later. They thought it was reasonable for me to walk around with a dead fetus for a month - I was absolutely devastated and went private, at great expense. I understand about limited resources and a stretched health service, but what really got me at the time was the complete lack of compassion by the staff. They basically said to me this isn't urgent and 'get a hold of yourself', 'you need to wait your turn' kind of things, when the prospect of a 4 week wait was just the worst. I hope you can find a private clinic.

Rainbowqueeen · 30/12/2021 11:28

My understanding was that there were medical reasons which mean the profession generally doesn’t do abortions before 8 weeks.

This is one of the reasons why the Texas laws outlaw abortion after 6 weeks - so they can argue they haven’t outlawed abortion completely but in reality they have because practitioners don’t conduct abortions before 6 weeks.

I do feel for you OP, it can’t be easy

sageandbasil · 30/12/2021 11:36

This happened to me 8 years ago. Found out when I was 4 weeks, didn't get abortion till 8 weeks. It's such a long time it's not fair. I looked at going private and it was the same

gogohm · 30/12/2021 11:37

When I had mine I had to wait until 7 weeks as that was the minimum. This was before pills

Winniemarysarah · 30/12/2021 11:40

It’s really shit that you have to wait but it’s a pretty normal waiting time. I had an abortion around 20 years ago when I was extremely young. I was 8 weeks when I found out and told the doctor I wanted a termination. The earliest appointment to do it was when I was just under 13 weeks.

gogohm · 30/12/2021 11:41

Should be clear this was not in the U.K. and waiting times were not a factor, they literally cannot do it sooner, I had it on 7 weeks exactly

HeyFloof · 30/12/2021 12:22

The pills used for termination are the same as the ones used for induction of labour. In patients who have had previous c-section there is a risk of uterine rupture. They can't risk rupturing your uterus OP.

It might be worth double checking if this information is correct.

I've had a cesarean (with a PPH) and two second trimester TFMR (induction of labour, not surgical, so same drugs) with an MMC in between.

The MMC was treated with medical management at home and just told to phone /come in if there was excessive bleeding.

Love2dream · 30/12/2021 19:55

Hun
Have you tried NUPAS

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