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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

what would you do RE housing?

51 replies

Azpil · 29/12/2021 20:49

I’d just like to preface this by saying I absolutely do not want to offend anyone as I’m talking about money and lifestyle. I am going to not include figures as I don’t want to come across the wrong way.

So, I am 27, DH 33.
We live in SE, commuter town to London where I work. DH owns a business and works in education - his job is very stable. My profession itself is stable and high demand, my job seems fine at the moment but is of course vulnerable like a lot of private sector corps.

Current situation:
Good size 3 bed semi, 2 mins walk from a street of independent shops / cafes - a place we love to spend time. Desirable area. No parking, can be stressful as you can’t always park on your own road but usually can find a space within 1 min or so walk.

We overpay mortgage and would be mortgage free by 40ish (me). It’s big enough I think for children (we are ttc next year) but would feel a bit small with 2 kids. Smallish garden but good for us as low maintenance.

We go on two extravagant holidays a year (Maldives, Caribbean) and 4 other holidays (skiing / city breaks) and can eat out every week if we like. Money isn’t an issue per se, although we aren’t rich!

Potential house:
Larger 4 bed detached with bigger garden and parking. Double the price we paid for our current house. Due to size, is slightly further from the little high street (10 min walk) but less busy. Same schools catchment.

We could afford most big % changes on the mortgage however, it would mean only 1 holiday a year with potential little city breaks. We’d have to eat out less / be more careful with money. We’d have to budget.

WWYD? I keep thinking we are young so get the house whilst we can. But I don’t know if it’s dumb?

FWIW, I’d never give up my job even with children. However, I can’t predict illness etc but that is a risk you always take. We have all the necessary insurances through our work though.

OP posts:
Embracelife · 29/12/2021 20:54

In what way is a good sized three bed too small for 2 dc? Can you be more specific?
What do you value more? Holidays and experiences or a driveway?
Funds to pay childcare and housekeeper or vleaner? and to support dc thru uni ?
Or a driveway?
What will your dc remember most about growing up? Experiences or the driveway?

2022newname · 29/12/2021 20:59

Don’t underestimate how much your kids will cost you!

sst1234 · 29/12/2021 21:02

OP do share some numbers. Without that it’s very hard to picture your income outgoings, cost of houses etc. Ignore those that have no interest in giving an answer but just want to have a go.

mayblossominapril · 29/12/2021 21:04

Getvthe driveway. I’ve just sold a large 2 bed that was fine (really nice as I’d done it up) to move somewhere with a driveway and garden. It’s not fun trying to lug 2 kids and shopping from two streets away. Yes I can double park and unload stuff but it’s still hassle.
You don’t go on as many holidays with two little ones anyway

JustWonderingIfYou · 29/12/2021 21:12

I don't think anyone can say they'd never give up work before they have children. I never thought I would but honestly my DS was so amazing I couldn't imagine missing out on his childhood by working through it! Sounds knobby I know but motherhood was so much better than I expected.

I would stick to the smaller house and enjoy life/keep options open. Although axk of parking would drive me barmy.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/12/2021 21:14

honestly my DS was so amazing I couldn't imagine missing out on his childhood by working through it!
Nice

PrtScn · 29/12/2021 21:19

I'd get the bigger house with driveway. But I'm not one for holidays and take outs every week. Do you really want to be going on 4-6 holidays a year in the current climate anyway?!

Embracelife · 29/12/2021 21:23

You won't be working 24 7, 7 days a week, will you? You won't miss the entire childhood by working!
The time you will spend with them weekends evenings and holidays will be time with dc.

LunaLoveFood · 29/12/2021 21:26

I would definitely move. Don't underestimate how tricky it can be with no guaranteed parking and baby/toddler. Having to hunt for a space, possibly walking a distance, in rain with baby or small children is not great.

Also I love living in a detached and not having to worry about noise.

AllTheCakes · 29/12/2021 21:29

Get the house. Once you have kids your priorities will change and you will naturally eat out less etc. Have a look at childcare costs for local nurseries, our childcare bill isn’t much less than our mortgage for one child.

StoneofDestiny · 29/12/2021 21:33

I'd go for the bigger house with own driveway - a better investment as well as offering the space a growing family needs (assume you want spare room for visitors and more living room downstairs?
Realistically you'll not holiday as often with children at a young age.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 29/12/2021 21:40

I would always say that you should stay in this water house if it is is fine for your needs as I would always prefer to pay off my mortgage as soon as possible.

But the problem you have is that you have no parking with your current house. Exceed your expectations and this would be a big problem for me so I would probably move but perhaps not to to such a big house as the one you are thinking about.

JSL52 · 29/12/2021 21:43

Have you factored in childcare?

TabithaTittlemouse · 29/12/2021 21:49

I never thought I would but honestly my DS was so amazing I couldn't imagine missing out on his childhood by working through it!

Mine weren’t amazing at all, such a disappointment! I can’t imagine missing out on work to spend time with them! Imagine!!

TabithaTittlemouse · 29/12/2021 21:51

Reading your op it feels like you already know in your heart that you can’t imagine staying where you are with dc.

Darbs76 · 29/12/2021 21:51

I’d go for the bigger house personally as no drive would be a nightmare with kids. Obviously manageable and I speak from experience having no drive for years. I’d probably go somewhere in the middle and get a cheaper house but with a drive / designated parking at least

WhatsWrongWithMyUsername · 29/12/2021 21:57

I’d move.

I’m fact I did in similar situation.

Butchyrestingface · 29/12/2021 22:01

@Embracelife

In what way is a good sized three bed too small for 2 dc? Can you be more specific? What do you value more? Holidays and experiences or a driveway? Funds to pay childcare and housekeeper or vleaner? and to support dc thru uni ? Or a driveway? What will your dc remember most about growing up? Experiences or the driveway?
I was about to tell her to get the driveway. 😂
hettie · 29/12/2021 22:06

Have you factored in being able to pay for two lots of childcare at since point (plus bigger mortgage)? It's often more and some than most people's mortgage....

HikingforScenery · 29/12/2021 22:10

Get the house. I’d hate to have to walk a minute away with DC in car seat/shopping, etc .

LtJudyHopps · 29/12/2021 22:17

Does it have to be one or the other, isn’t there a compromise? A 3 bed slightly further out with better parking/a drive - so not as expensive as the 4 bed detached?

AnneElliott · 29/12/2021 22:21

Buy the house with a drive! When you're lugging a car seat plus shopping around the corner you will appreciate how helpful it is to have your own parking space.

Lazypuppy · 29/12/2021 22:24

Bigger house and garden definitely for me

Chronicallymothering · 29/12/2021 22:24

Stay put until you’ve finished paying for nursery fees, then move. No 5 year old needs a big bedroom. You might benefit from the flexibility and want to move for a different secondary in time.

Jessie75 · 29/12/2021 22:25

Definitely get the bigger house but I would wait until the summer next year because prices are insane at the moment and it’s unsustainable I think if you buy right now you gonna buy at the top of the market

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