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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DF tested positive for covid

45 replies

Dasher789 · 29/12/2021 16:05

We have had some family staying for Christmas. Everyone left a couple of days ago. DF still here and planned to leave tomorrow or Friday. For the last day or so, he hasn't been feeling the best so took an LFT today which has came back positive. DH and I are negative.

Should DF isolate for the next 10 days with us or should he go home to isolate?

He lives a 4 hour drive away.

AIBU to want him to go home? He has been here since before Xmas and isn't the easiest of guests.

OP posts:
TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 16:07

I think he's meant to stay there but you know Barnard Castle and all that.

Scrabblecrabapple · 29/12/2021 16:07

There is t a reason for him to stay, unless he lives with others?

SadSplinter · 29/12/2021 16:08

Can he do the journey in one go, without needing to stop at all?

LittleBabyCheeses · 29/12/2021 16:11

How will he get home?

Original poster
Dasher789 · 29/12/2021 16:14

Sorry should have said, he drove here the day before Xmas eve and although its a long drive he generally doesn't stop. He likely would need petrol but if he paid at pump he wouldn't come into contact with anyone or in theory, I could fill his car up (not sure he would allow me to drive his car though)

OP posts:
Tutan · 29/12/2021 16:15

@TinyLittlePandaSneeze

I think he's meant to stay there but you know Barnard Castle and all that.
You’re allowed to travel to get home if you’re not able to stay in place. Someone linked the the rules the other day.
olympicsrock · 29/12/2021 16:16

If he can drive home safely he should go

Original poster
Dasher789 · 29/12/2021 16:17

He lives alone.

I feel bad for wanting him to be alone and go home when he is feeling under the weather but the longer he is here, the longer he puts DH and I at risk. Also his symptoms do seem to have got significantly worse since his positive result which is making me think that whilst he did have a bit of a cough/cold symptoms this morning, he is likely experiencing a pseudo effect.

OP posts:
TooWicked · 29/12/2021 16:17

Yes he’s allowed to travel home. Get him packed up and on his way

Original poster
Dasher789 · 29/12/2021 16:18

@tutan thanks will look for this

OP posts:
PrivateHall · 29/12/2021 16:19

I don't think I would want my father to drive 4 hours if feeling under the weather. Does he want to go?

LittleBabyCheeses · 29/12/2021 16:19

Is he well enough to drive 4 hours? I felt fine when I tested positive… a bit of a cough. 12 hours later I was in bed with severe flu like symptoms, I could barely lift my head off the pillow.

MoiraNotRuby · 29/12/2021 16:21

I can't imagine sending my dad home if he had covid. I like to think I would insist he stays and I take care of him.

Then again I can't imagine having him to stay for that long in the first place. We probably only get on so well because he doesn't!!

Sorry no help. Good luck OP.

Original poster
Dasher789 · 29/12/2021 16:21

@toowicked Grin I wish I could! He is currently seemingly not up to driving to the local test centre for a pcr. When I initially suggested he go, he said he wasn't up to sitting in the car with me driving!!!!! (Swiftly told him that he would need to drive himself). I really hope he is feeling a bit better tomorrow. I'm working from home but I can see him expecting to be waited on hand and foot for the next 7-10 days if he has his way.

OP posts:
TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 16:21

Also his symptoms do seem to have got significantly worse since his positive result

Maybe they have actually got worse? Only you know if he's faking it I guess.

plinkplinkfizzer · 29/12/2021 16:22

Jesus do you not really like your Father ? No way would I send Father to drive alone home . He might need some care or y'know someone to phone an ambulance .

R0tational · 29/12/2021 16:23

Won't he feel upset you are sending him away? Seems a bit unkind? Sorry..

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 29/12/2021 16:25

YANBU to want home to go home and I think legally he can but if he doesn't feel up to it (or even says he doesn't feel up to it) then I'm not sure what options you have.

Original poster
Dasher789 · 29/12/2021 16:25

Haha @moiranotruby - I do feel terrible wanting rid of him. I wished he lived down the road, it would be so much easier.

To everyone else, he doesn't seem up to driving today. Will see what tomorrow brings. I am concerned that since his result came back positive, his symptoms have rapidly gotten worse and I think it is partially at least, in his head.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dasher789 · 29/12/2021 16:27

@tinylittlepandasneeze he might well not be exaggerating up based on past experience, when he is told he has a problem, big or small, it become the end of the world.

I am working and don't want to catch covid myself either so whilst I selfishly don't want to wait on him for another week, I also can't afford time off work.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dasher789 · 29/12/2021 16:28

Will see what tomorrow brings but I'm glad that if he is up to it, he is allowed to drive home.

If he isn't up to it, I won't be kicking him out

OP posts:
Scbchl · 29/12/2021 16:32

His symptoms will of gotten worse as by the time you show up as positive your symptoms/the infection are starting to peak.

When my son tested positive he did decline over the next 24 hours and he is little so it wasn't pseduo effects.

Is there not a room he can isolate in safely at yours so he can be looked after.

TooWicked · 29/12/2021 16:33

I can see him expecting to be waited on hand and foot for the next 7-10 days if he has his way

If he can’t/won’t leave, I’d be insisting he isolates in his bedroom, tell him you’ll provide snacks and drinks when you’re making one for yourself, and give him a pack of disinfectant wipes to anti-bac the bathroom or any shared rooms after he’s used them.

cantare · 29/12/2021 16:40

I am amazed at OP's insistence for her DF to go home and stay on his own while ill. He started feeling slightly worse and you want him to drive home 4 h and then stay on his own? What if he will start feeling really ill?
Isolate him in separate room at yours and look after him while he is ill, FGS 🤦‍♀️

WeAllHaveWings · 29/12/2021 16:43

I would not be sending a covid positive person feeling under the weather on a 4 hour drive. The risks to other road users or potentially emergency services is too high. What if he worsens significantly half way home and cant continue safely, or tries and falls asleep or loses concentration at the wheel?

Tell him he needs to isolate in the bedroom and leave food/drinks/medication as needed outside the door for him.