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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I at fault or should they pay

57 replies

Oliveoil26 · 29/12/2021 13:29

Over Christmas my sister took some bags to my grandparents and I took the others we then realised she had my 400ish pound shoes in a bag of mine. I said she could have some picture frames hadn’t used she wanted to pick them up so I told my partner she would be dropping them off and picking up the frames. Partner was at home all day and I was at work he then text to say he’s off out and spoken to my sister he’s left the frames outside and she will drop the shoes off. I text her saying keep the shoes in the car I’ll come get them I don’t want them being left outside all day said the same to partner but they both said it would be fine there suede and it was raining all day yesterday. When I called my sister last night to come collect them she said there outside my house I’ve gone home and there not there. No ones seen them they’ve clearly been stolen from outside my flat door no cctv either

OP posts:

Original poster

Oliveoil26 · 29/12/2021 13:30

Just to clear it’s a flat but ground floor with own entrance door

OP posts:

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 29/12/2021 13:32

I'd be mad if you said not to leave them outside and she did anyway. So the right thing for her to do would be to offer to pay...however pressing the issue is the kind of thing that causes massive fall outs so I'd be careful about how much you push this

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 29/12/2021 13:33

She's your sister. She should be shoving the money at you.

SerendipitySunshine · 29/12/2021 13:33

Why didn't your partner wait to collect the shoes? Had he agreed to do that?

icedcoffees · 29/12/2021 13:33

Are you sure she hasn't kept them?

TueWed · 29/12/2021 13:36

@icedcoffees

Are you sure she hasn't kept them?

surely not

Anyway - op you need to report to the police as missing/stolen

GrazingSheep · 29/12/2021 13:36

So both your partner and your sister agreed between them that it would be ok for her to leave the shoes outside?

Original poster

Oliveoil26 · 29/12/2021 13:37

Partner said he would be in all Day I said are you ok to collect shoes of sister and he said yes if she has kept them there really not her style or size

OP posts:

icedcoffees · 29/12/2021 13:38

Anyway - op you need to report to the police as missing/stolen

The police won't be interested in someone taking something from OP's porch - especially when it was left there with permission from her DP.

mamas12 · 29/12/2021 13:38

They both need to pay!

Hotyogahotchoc · 29/12/2021 13:41

I don't really understand the start of your OP

You were taking some bags to your grandparents and she ended up taking a bag of your shoes home??

So if it was her "error" in taking them and then she left them outside and they are gone then it's her fault and she should offer to pay

But did you partner suggest it was ok to leave them outside?

How much were they?

Are you prepared to call out of a pair of shoes?

Cocomarine · 29/12/2021 13:44

You told your sister and boyfriend that you didn’t want the shoes to just get left outside.
But they both said to you that it would be fine.
So at that point you KNEW they were going to be left outside.
What exactly did you say then?
If you didn’t reply, or were wishy washy, you accepted their decision.
Did you reply and tell them, “really, don’t.”?

Cocomarine · 29/12/2021 13:44

It would be clearer without the grandparent and picture frames fluff!

Spanglybangles · 29/12/2021 13:57

@Hotyogahotchoc the OP said the shoes were around £400…yikes!!

icedcoffees · 29/12/2021 13:59

If both your sister and your DP were responsible for the shoes being left outside, they should both be contributing 50% of the costs for a replacement pair.

purpledagger · 29/12/2021 14:01

They should both pay...

Your OH, because he said he was going to be home but went out for the day, particularly if he knew your sister was coming.

Your sister for leaving the shoes, when you told her specifically not to.

..... but I suspect you won't get anything out of either of them.

(Have you tried asking a neighbour in case they have picked them up/saw something).

Luredbyapomegranate · 29/12/2021 14:02

From what you say your partner told her to drop them off outside. Furthermore, it’s not her fault she picked up the wrong bag if there were a lot of bags in the hall. If they were valuable they should have put away.

So no, not her fault and you can’t expect her to pay. I wouldn’t beat yourself up either, these things happen.

CSJobseeker · 29/12/2021 14:09

Your partner and sister are to blame. Leaving nice shoes outdoors is lunacy.

Cocomarine · 29/12/2021 14:09

@purpledagger

They should both pay...

Your OH, because he said he was going to be home but went out for the day, particularly if he knew your sister was coming.

Your sister for leaving the shoes, when you told her specifically not to.

..... but I suspect you won't get anything out of either of them.

(Have you tried asking a neighbour in case they have picked them up/saw something).

I don’t think that’s what happened though. We’re missing a key piece. The boyfriend didn’t do something awful deciding to go out - he told OP he was going to, and that the frames would be on the doorstep and the shoes could also be left there. OP said she didn’t want them left out (more the rain than worry about theft it seems) but the her boyfriend and sister said it would be OK.

What happened next?!

If OP said no, it won’t be OK - they should replace them.
If she said nothing more, I don’t think you can blame them.

TueWed · 29/12/2021 14:13

@icedcoffees

Anyway - op you need to report to the police as missing/stolen

The police won't be interested in someone taking something from OP's porch - especially when it was left there with permission from her DP.

well they have been stolen, doesnt matter if they were outside the house or not. And if OP wants to claim on her house insurance she will need a police ref number (but they probably wont pay out)

TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 14:13

If sister knew you didn't want them left outside and it was really clear, then she should pay

HeddaGarbled · 29/12/2021 14:14

Carelessness all round, IMO.

TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 14:15

Why were your shoes in a bag at your grandparents house?

icedcoffees · 29/12/2021 14:15

well they have been stolen, doesnt matter if they were outside the house or not. And if OP wants to claim on her house insurance she will need a police ref number (but they probably wont pay out)

I know they were stolen, but the police won't be interested in doing any investigation. They don't even come out for actual break-ins, let alone stuff left outside people's homes with permission!

BobLemon · 29/12/2021 14:15

£400 !?!?

Christ. What a fuck up.

I’d report the theft - there’s the odd occasion local to us where police mange to recover a bit of a haul.

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