What is the etiquette in this situation?

[harrypotterslefttesticle]

Before Christmas couple A had suggested going out for dinner in a local restaurant with couples B and C. A time and date was agreed. As we are in Ireland, when the new restrictions were introduced we lost our evening booking and couldn't get one for the afternoon locally.

Couple B suggested that since we had lost our reservation that we all gather at couple B's house for a takeaway. Couple C also suggested their house and offered to cook. Because of the offer to cook, and couple C having a bigger house and more space, we have all decided to go there.

Couples A and B both drink alcohol but couple C does not. If we had met in a restaurant or at couple B's house there would have been alcohol present. Would it be unreasonable for couples A and B to take alcohol for themselves/the group to couple C's house or would that be frowned upon?

I don’t drink but everyone else in the family does. I LOVE when they bring their own booze as it means I don’t have to think about it or (please no) try and choose some wine for wine snobs

Granted, it’s an American law, and it was on an American documentary series where I heard of it, but it’s still a law somewhere in the world

These are group homes, for people in recovery, not individual family homes.

Folk basically rent a room, have communal living facilities, support on site for alcohol issues.

Some areas in the U.K. historically had “dry” areas,where there were no pubs, shops not allowed to sell alcohol, but not sure if any still exist.

I spent decades registering titles to land and have never seen an individual property burdened with a clause prohibiting alcohol in an individual property

I don’t drink alcohol at all, I certainly don’t mind people bringing it to drink at my house.

Ask first and if they say yes it’s ok then take some fancy soft drink as well .

Just text them and ask, "is it okay to bring some wine?" I'm sure they'll be okay with it, but you need to ask first.

I have ‘couple C’ friends who would provide wine for guests with dinner. But guests would also bring alcoholic snd non-alcoholic guest gifts (choc / flowers / nice soft drink).

I also have friends who don’t want alcohol in their house and it would be insensitive to take it or consume it there.

Asking in a careful way that makes it easy for them to say no is best.

The etiquette would be to ask them.

I don’t drink, but I’d be fine with someone bringing a bottle of wine to enjoy with dinner in this situation. If they asked beforehand then I’d really appreciate that and would find it thoughtful of them, but I wouldn’t be annoyed if they didn’t ask.

That said, I’ve been sober for a few years now. When I first gave up alcohol, I had a bit of a rule in my head that I didn’t want other people drinking alcohol in my home, just because it would be a little triggering for me and I knew I’d probably feel resentful. It wasn’t anything particularly strict and I wouldn’t have told people not to bring it or turned anyone away if they brought it, but I just generally didn’t put myself in situations where it might be likely to happen. After a year or so I stopped caring and I don’t bat an eyelid now.

So yes, it really depends on the couple and their reasons for not drinking, and it would be thoughtful to ask whether they mind.

If they aren’t religious and don’t have addiction issues I’d personally just take it.

*This law outlines the requirements sober living homes must maintain in order to remain available to the public. Sober homes in TX must:

Be in compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act.
Be safe, clean, well-lit, and well-maintained.
Have adequate supplies, such as furniture, and space for appliances.
Issue documentation as required by the city and county government.
Not permit smoking, drinking, or drug use.
Not permit firearms or any kind of illegal activity on the premises.
Vaccinate pets and services animals.

Granted, it’s an American law, and it was on an American documentary series where I heard of it, but it’s still a law somewhere in the world*

Well, there are lots of things that are laws somewhere in the world but tbh they’re not really relevant to the discussion here when they’re in a totally different continent, as this is primarily a UK based website. And those laws don’t even pertain to individual private homes.

What a weird turn this question took…

What does a US state law have anything to do with dinner in Ireland… hell I live in the US and I’d be wondering what this law had to do with a dinner in my state (not TX). I’m sure most Texans have never heard of this law because it doesn’t pertain to 99.9% of Texans!

Just ask "Would you mind if I brought ?". It may be that they don't want alcohol in their home, but realize they can't control what others do when they are with them elsewhere.

You don't really know your friends' reasons why they don't drink. It could be 'just because' or they could have a specific reason, such as 'negative memories' around people drinking or have/had drink problems themselves.

We had some friends we saw a few times a year at a specific event. We knew neither of them drank, but didn't know that both of them were recovering alcoholics until I overheard one of them ask someone else if they were a 'friend of Bill W'. I never said anything to them, figuring if they wanted us to know, they'd tell us.

My brother is a recovering alcoholic and I ask him each and every time if he minds if we bring a bottle of wine if we're coming for dinner. Sometimes he's fine with it, sometimes he isn't and I would never want to contribute to a moment of weakness for him.

Asking is ok, but it should be asking with a real acceptance if they say rather not. Changing the host (as some suggest in this thread) just because of (no) alcohol would be quite rude.

In our house hold we drink very little, don't like beer at all and don't drink spirits as a habit. We don't mind if someone bring in a limited amount (bottle, beer per person...) which they drink during visit as far as they don't get drunken/visibly affected.
Plus, it is not really thoughtful to position the bottle as a gift for us, just "bring it for tonight" and ask about place in the fridge or whatever you need. Actually, you might want to bring it cold, as cooling can take long.