Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put my foot down and not let my DP work on christmas eve.long rant ahead

68 replies

lucyellensmum · 21/12/2007 11:19

My DP works for himself so his work tends to dictate his hours, usually unreasonably long! He is a builder and is generally up against it time wise. And whilst most of the building trade do work xmas even morning, we had agreed without talking about it that today would be his last day! He is working on a domestic job and its not like him doing the work xmas eve will complete the job. The orignial set of work was completed on time (three days late to be accurate but actually clients quite pleased as they didnt expect it done so quickly). Now there are lots of extras and they are hassling my DP to get the work finished (understandable but there is only so much that can be done). On the whole the clients are fine and are happy with the way things are going.

There are a few issues here. I call him up this morning for a chat and he said that one of the guys who does work for him rang him and said, did he want him to help him plaster a room that needs doing on xmas eve. I have several problems with this:-

Firstly, DP has felt that this person had not really worked as efficiently as he could have done and this has cost DP money and time. So, i think that him rining up and offering to help with the plastering Xmas eve is taking the piss as he will clearly want paying.

Secondly (and from my point of view most importantly) : This year has been tough for us (we nearly split up due to financial strain and my PND) and i just want a nice peaceful FAMILY christmas and because we had sort of put today down as the last day then in my mind, christmas was starting this weekend. We are gooing to put the tree up (we always do this late) and decorate the room. Then just chill out, heaven knows we need a rest, we have been full of cold and coughs all week and feel knackered. So i dont want to have to put things on hold.

Thirdly and actually THIS is the most important factor. If, IF it would just be a case of him working xmas eve morning i would be OK with it, thats always been the way most years. But i know this job would take him into quite a late day (probably 7 o'clock earliest finish) and i can visualise myself on the phone to him askig when he will be home and the poor sod saying just another hour, etc etc, until i finally get pissed off, start feeling sorry for myself, DD will be tetchy as i will not want to put her to bed before seeing daddy on Xmas eve. And there is a recipe for a ruined xmas if ever i saw one.

Honest opinions here (there can be no compromise regarding the time as plastering is one of those jobs that once you start, you have to finish it and its a big room apparently) AM I BEING A SELFISH BRAT AS USUAL DP is desperate to make his business work but i think family time is so important at this time of year. OK so this would mean that the clients would not be able to paint that room over the christmas break which they might have anticipated in their "clients have no clue how long things actually take and dont realise that DP breaks his back to get things done for them" kind of way - om not slating them, they are paying for the work to be done but i actually feel that the job has gone well and they should be OK with this. Also, if they are not ok then i think it is time for DPs family to take precidence, we all need a break and I need him to be mine for a week with no interruption.

OP posts:
no1putsbabyinthecorner · 23/12/2007 14:05

my dh is working xmas eve, xmas day, boxing day, new years eve, new years day etc... shall I go on.
It is also our dd 1st xmas

Chardonnay1966 · 23/12/2007 14:05

Shouldn't u be grafting somewhere nailpolish??? Or don't ya work Sundays??? How lazy of you!

Scotia · 23/12/2007 14:05

LEM, what a tantrum. I hope your dp's clients don't find out what you say about them - keeping them in their 'place', lol.

nailpolish · 23/12/2007 14:07

i am working tonight

first of seven nights

7pm til 8am

or shall i just not bother?

lucyellensmum · 23/12/2007 14:08

chardonnay, i will be cleaning up more sick no doubt as to follow on from our colds, DD has now developed D&V.

NP - perhaps it was foolish of me to say am i a spoilt brat, i know i am!! But, in my defence, i told DP i would understand if he had to work but he said he really didnt want to and it wasn't neccesary. I probably didnt make this clear but my problem was more with DPs friend who works for him making the suggestion, as it was clearly done to get more money, despite the fact that there was a delay on the job because he had spent a week with his finger up his arse!

Can we call a truce, and will you please PLEASE accept when i say for the Nth time, I AGREE WITH YOU

OP posts:
Chardonnay1966 · 23/12/2007 14:11

Let's all have a big glass of champagne and raise a toast to Xmas. Nailpolish, I hope your shift goes ok and LEM I hope the sick is not too messy. God bless us every one.

nailpolish · 23/12/2007 14:11

happy christmas

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 23/12/2007 14:12

Cheers

lucyellensmum · 23/12/2007 14:12

Did you like that scotia?? Im good at tantrums i am. I should say that i only mean some clients are a pain in the arse, and they do my head in. As for keeping clients in their place, i am sure DP would say it to their face, probably has done, but for some reason (blatantly unlike me) he can do that and still leave them happy! Even you [poking tongue out with xmas hat on so that scotia doest take offence]

NP yes, some jobs in the building trade do mean DP can be home by 4, well leave at 4 at least, after a 7 am start so just a normal day. Those days are a dim and distant memory, but it will be worth it soon enough.

OP posts:
LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 23/12/2007 14:13

LEM - just wanted to say that I thought you made it pretty clear from the start so totally understood. What other people are working/not working is nothing to do with what you were asking. Anyway, pleased it all worked out. Have a lovely Christmas

lucyellensmum · 23/12/2007 14:15

Group hug!

NP, i hope you do find time for a mince pie, i am assuming you are a nurse/doctor/emergency plumber so i should add a big up respect to you for keeping us all safe/well/warm/whatever over the xmas.

OP posts:
Scotia · 23/12/2007 14:17

LEM, I'm not offended, I thought you were!

Anyway, Happy Christmas, and GET THAT SHOPPING DONE!

Chardonnay1966 · 23/12/2007 14:23

I'm filling up here.... sob!

Blondilocks · 23/12/2007 14:38

YABU.

Xmas day & New Years day are the only non-weekend days my OH isn't working.

I know loads of people who have to work Xmas eve.

lucyellensmum · 23/12/2007 14:39

scotia, i have done most of the food shopping, or should i say DP has (the man is a saint) but we are going to be muddling through as this is a house of puke, shite and snot this 3year. I care not, we are together and this will be the first week off DP has had for a year

OP posts:
Scotia · 23/12/2007 14:54

Oh no, what a scunner! I hope you you get better soon.

I'm hoping my dh can get some time off soon too - not a chance at this time of year in the catering trade. He's off Christmas Day, but it'll be a bit of a busman's holiday for him I will help him though [saint icon]!

ThrowbackTo07 · 10/11/2022 23:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

EL8888 · 10/11/2022 23:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

You are though

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.