Colleague of partner calling him a name ex used to call him

[Maddymorphosis]

His ex used to call him a specific pet name that I have never called him nor anyone else that I know of

There's a colleague of his who I'm a little uneasy with for a couple of reasons but I don't really know her.
She's the manager, and sometimes if he's next to me it comes up on his phone that she's messaged him (usually work related) and she calls him that name

Aibu to think this is a little weird. I asked in a jokey way if I should call him that too but otherwise I'm trying to keep it inside

It just annoys me a little even though there's nothing I can do. I cannot imagine a male colleague texting me with some cutesy name

Specifically one his ex called him

Is it generic?

No it's specific to his name

Was he known by that name at work, while he was still with the ex?

Nah the ex is from years ago before he ever worked there

You probably need to be more specific. Like is he William and she is calling him Billy while everyone else calls him Liam?

I mean... is it like Daz for Darren, a common diminutive? Or it something like Jezzy Twinkle Toes for Jerome?

If it’s a known diminutive like Teddy for Edward that she may have come up with by herself I’d be less concerned. If it’s a name that she would only know because he told her that his ex used it then I’d wonder why she felt the need to use it.

Agree with the above, if his name is William for instance and you all call him Will but his ex, and apparently his colleague called him Billy, I'm not sure that would bother me really as it's pretty common, so in that scenario YABU.

You might find other work people use it and you just aren't aware

@Woodmarsh

You might find other work people use it and you just aren't aware

Right. I got a call from a colleague that DH does a car share with, asking for "Jimmy." I politely said wrong number and hung up before realising he meant Jamie.

I’d be fine with it if it’s derived from his name (Ted vs Ed vs Edward etc). I’d be a bit if it was something like “Sweetcheeks” and would expect there to be some sort of inside joke behind it.

But then I trust my DP implicitly.

Does anything HE is saying or doing concern you?

That wouldn't be weird in my workplace

We regularly use nicknames

Ah I remember your other thread about this woman when you visited him at work.

What is it about her that makes you uneasy? Fwiw I manage a restaurant and have pet names for most of the team…

It's not a common diminutive, it's a name that she could only know because he must have told her his ex called it him

If everyone is calling him this then obviously it's different but I'm not sure if they are

So it's a nickname related to his name?
That's quite a normal thing. A lot of people call others by diminutives

So your concern is that he shared personal information with her?

It’s not a common shortened version of his name, but is it a less common one?

X post.

If it's specific to his name then she may have just come up with it by coincidence.

So how did she know about the name did he tell her?

I have no idea, I just find it weird she calls him a specific name his ex called him, it's almost a name you'd call a baby

I saw her put her hands on his back at work when he was sitting on a stool and she wanted to tell him something, I didn't see the need for that, why not just tap him or something

Anyway maybe I'm in the wrong but I have to keep my mouth shut don't I

I can't imagine other men using it with him tbh

You’ve still not said if the name is a derivative of his name, so will assume that it is.

What concerns you about HIS behaviour? If you trust him, there’s little issue.

Oh I remember you now OP.

You really don't trust this man so I'd recommend splitting up. If I remember rightly you don't live together do you?

If that's correct it should be easier to do, or at least far simpler than all this overthinking and jealousy.

I do trust him I just feel uneasy about this woman
It isn't a diminutive of his name or if it is it's a very rare one
He's said a few times that she sometimes speaks to him or acts as if he's a child which is also odd