Colleague of partner calling him a name ex used to call him

[Maddymorphosis]

His ex used to call him a specific pet name that I have never called him nor anyone else that I know of

There's a colleague of his who I'm a little uneasy with for a couple of reasons but I don't really know her.
She's the manager, and sometimes if he's next to me it comes up on his phone that she's messaged him (usually work related) and she calls him that name

Aibu to think this is a little weird. I asked in a jokey way if I should call him that too but otherwise I'm trying to keep it inside

It just annoys me a little even though there's nothing I can do. I cannot imagine a male colleague texting me with some cutesy name

If you trust him (as you've been repeatedly told before), there's no point in stressing over his colleague.

If you trust him then what are you worried about?
If she puts her hands on him, he'll tell her to stop.
If she flirts, he will shut her down.
Right?
It takes 2 to have an affair.

You are right,it just irritates me but I just wanted some views on here about this name thing

I couldn't see myself putting my hands on some man's back just to tell him something
The best I can do is ignore her and block her from my mind I suppose

The general consensus regarding your boyfriend is that he's a bit of an unthoughtful shit when it comes to how he treats you though, isn't it?

@Maddymorphosis

I couldn't see myself putting my hands on some man's back just to tell him something The best I can do is ignore her and block her from my mind I suppose

I see how you might be upset if it's something you don't do. From another view I'm a very demonstrative person, particularly with people I'm good friends with. I work with both men.and women and am close to many of them as I've been there years. I'd see me often (pre-covid) hug people good morning on a Monday or goodbye on a Friday or put hands on people whilst chatting/ laughing. In fact, I have to totally sit on my hands now during Covid. Perhaps the fact that I'm 30 years older than some of them makes a difference though.

What's the name?

@Puffalicious you sound like an HR complaint waiting to happen.

[quote PlanktonsComputerWife]@Puffalicious you sound like an HR complaint waiting to happen.[/quote]
Not in the environment I work in- it's not corporate in the slightest and, like I said, this is only with very close colleagues I've known for many years, my friends. The one youngster I'm very close to was my mentee and I've known him 7 years- he's like another son and I know his soon wife to be very well. Not everything or everyone is suspicious. One of my very close friends is so senior now it's hard not to curtsey to her- we still hug (preCovid) and there's nought wrong with that.

Oh @Puffalicious I am a very tactile person and I have had to learn to be very self aware not to touch people, easier since wfh permanently but before that cuddles, hand on shoulder, leaning close looking at something, hand on back, hand on knee yep I've done all of those things, and apologised.

I agree @Puffalicious, it does sometimes depend very much on the environment and culture.

The OP's boyfriend and his colleague for example, work in a pub restaurant, so that might be considered more relaxed than some other work places.

@PlanktonsComputerWife

I mean... is it like Daz for Darren, a common diminutive? Or it something like Jezzy Twinkle Toes for Jerome?

That proper made me 😂! Jezzy Twinkle toes!

@WorraLiberty

I agree *@Puffalicious*, it does sometimes depend very much on the environment and culture.

The OP's boyfriend and his colleague for example, work in a pub restaurant, so that might be considered more relaxed than some other work places.

Definitely Worra it's all in the context.

No, the best you can do is work out why you don't trust him - it's either your anxiety or his behaviour needs addressing!

You can't possibly think that this woman is connected to the ex and that's why she's calling him that name? That would be too many coincidences.

Even if she did know him hears and years ago it is still unlikely she would think

'oh yes, that's Jeremy that Laura used to go out with, Jezzy Twinkle Toes he was called. Jezzy Twinkle Toes, how are the quarterly reports going?'

Is it like Pip as a diminutive for Philip?

The problem with the name thing is that unless you say what the names are - the actual names - people can't really give an opinion because we don't know if it really is a nickname nobody would associate with the name or whether it's actually familiar to many and you just think it's not a known diminutive.
But you can't really do that if you don't want to risk being recognised

None of it matters anyway.

The texts are to him and if he wasn't happy, I'm sure he'd tell her to stop using that name.

I've known people at work who seem unable to avoid giving people daft nicknames that no one else uses.