How do I get things done?

[Feelingoood]

Posting here beci don’t know where to post!
I just don’t seem to get anything done! Housework is endless and I am procrastinating it just never goes away.
We need stuff done in house and I find it impossible to find a tradesman in the first place and then trust them enough to commit. I can’t make a decision about anything. I’m overwhelmed with how to organise home and kids. I need to do diy, and just don’t know when to start. Or how to plan.
I seem to be whiffing through this holiday not achieving anything.
How do you people with clean and organised and lovely homes achieve it?

Oh I guess I’d better ask Aibu to be so crap?!

I hear you op! I am the same. Problem is everything is left to me. Dh works very long hours 7 days a week (self employed) I also work for him but not many hours. Just admin. But with 4 kids and life administration comes down to me plus house work etc and o think it's quite over whelming. Explained this to dh but he doesn't understand. He just has to think about his job and come home. I have to remember and do everything including help with his work and help with extended family. It's easy stuff just too much of it!

There sure is a lot of stuff! I think I’m also scared of doing anything in case I make a mistake, does that sound mad? Like I can’t paint the hall beacause I can’t decide on a colour and in case it looks crap. There must be a cure!

I get you. I do that too. Just need to gibe yourself a prep talk and do it. I find when I'm in a rush I am better at getting things done. So if someone suddenly said I'm coming rou d in 2 hours for a cuppa. I can rush around and the house is spotless. But give me 3 days to do it and it will look awful till the last minute when I pa ic and rush around d.

Sorry no real answers but I feel your pain and I’m in a similar situation. Can you invite people round so you have a deadline to do things by? As @Cupcakeschocolate said it’s easier to get things done when you have a deadline - adrenaline is amazing for focusing the mind and energising you into action. Also are you a perfectionist in other things? Wanting a perfect outcome can prevent action. I have delayed staining my woodwork for 10 years because I’m worried it won’t look right when I do it. So I’m sorry I don’t have the answers but I empathise. Maybe convince yourself that it’s better to decorate and then redecorate if you don’t like it than to live with it I decorated? Anyone you can ask for advise on the colour scheme for your hall? Try tester pots first?

Sorry - Should have read undecorated not I decorated!

I have ADHD and I know exactly how you feel, I've got an assignment due today, yet I'm surfing MN. I just can't focus on anything right now. I hope things get better

If you're overwhelmed or overloaded you need to chunk it down into manageable units. Don't put tidying the entire house, doing all outstanding DIY and sorting out family life on one list.
This morning tidy one room and feel good about it.

Focus on what you get done, not what you don't.

Recruit and train the rest of the household around washing up, filling/emptying dishwasher, laundry, running the hoover around, ironing, changing beds... these don't all have to be your job.
If you can afford a cleaner, get one.

Bin off unnecessary jobs. Eg I stopped all ironing a few years ago and no one even noticed. Just flap and hang laundry when it's still warm from dryer and it doesn't really need ironing. If someone needs a tidy shirt on occasion, they know where the iron is.

Stay on top of the small stuff and try to do one DIY job a month. Prioritise the ones that matter most.

We all procrastinate. Don't beat yourself up. Usually it's because you think the task will be too hard, but you just need to get started. Just put MN down and crack on!
Good luck!

Yep - not even a huge procrastinator in life but when it comes to workmen and diy I feel physically sick. They are all lying lazy scumbags and dread having to risk hiring one.

Aww, thanks guys! It’s lovely to hear from you. Baileys, your comments about your woodwork cheered me up!
Thanks for the reassurance and the good tips. Dh has invited his mate round this afternoon so I’d better get cleaning. Maybe that will inspire some diy! Ha ha ha haaaa!
Only fools…I know, right! Considering mending the windows myself - quoted 3k a window. what’s the point of going to work to pay some idiot that much? So if they charge 200 a day, that’s 15 days to sand and paint one window. How, how do they get these estimates?
I’m in the wrong trade!

Look up the organised mum method. Print off her free downloadable checklist and laminate. Follow her on Instagram/Facebook or download her book. Honestly,it's been life changing for me. I am no longer overwhelmed by it all and the house is clean and tidy. First year ever I have not spent Christmas Eve cleaning most of the day!

Wish I had advice OP but I wonder the aame thing! We get up, get ready for work and DC for school, work til 6pm, DC home - dinner, homework, bedtime routine etc; then we make and eat our dinner, basic/essential chores, then to bed. Werkends are equally busy. There is just no time to tackle the many tasks and projects that need doing 😫
The only people I know who seem to have time either have parents who help with the DC, or money to afford cleaners etc. Sadly we have neither. Hence nothing ever gets done.

@Feelingoood

There sure is a lot of stuff! I think I’m also scared of doing anything in case I make a mistake, does that sound mad? Like I can’t paint the hall beacause I can’t decide on a colour and in case it looks crap. There must be a cure!

If you are unsure, then go for pure brilliant white gloss paint for all the woodwork, white emulsion for the ceiling and magnolia or cream matt emulsion for the walls. Safe, but cheaper, you really can't go wrong and everything will look fresher. Go for trade paint at somewhere like Wickes. Then, once you have learned how to do it, you can choose a different wall paint colour next time. Most DIY stores have leaflets explaining how to decorate so just pick a few of them up.

Thanks Lou Lou! I’d forgotten about tomm. It’s good, and I’m too rubbish to stick to it, so that’s this year’s resolution!
Lalalala I hear you! I’m insanely prettily jealous of mates with TWO sets of grandparents and family nearby. One has her mum iron and clean, dad puts in new bathrooms etc while other grandparents take kids to brownies etc. We are trying to do the work of 5 people!
Eagerly waiting for, that’s a good idea. I’ve been utterly muddled by which white goes with which tub of poncybollocks blue. I guess I’m never going to transform my chipped ten year old howdens kitchen into a de vol lookalike, with a tub of deluxe. Sigh.
I’m wondering if I pretend I am a student and keep notes and files and mind maps I might get somewhere.
Cor that was a long post! Sorry!

This is me! I love lists so I've tried doing that but that often overwhelms me. I look at it and it will say eg "decorate hallway" and that's just too big a thing. So what I've been doing recently is breaking it up into the tiniest of steps so it's more manageable and I get the satisfaction of ticking things off! For example:

• research colours
• buy paint
• find paintbrushes
• find sandpaper

And then I try to make myself do several items a week. I then get the satisfaction of ticking things off and also knowing I'm making progress albeit tiny steps.

Me too!
I’ve found making lists has helped. Don’t get overwhelmed, just pick a few jobs and do them. Also there’s a thing called making an imperfect action or decision. Basically just do something, it doesn’t have to be perfect, but the momentum of starting will help you carry on.

Talk to people you trust to get recommendations for tradesmen.

@Cupcakeschocolate are you me? We’re living the same life.

Great advice above. Since some bereavements and awful grief etc etc I’ve struggled to do basic things the way I used to. Think is anxiety.
A few other things which hep me -
I actually say to self ‘if you don’t do anything nothing will get done’ - kind of helps me at least do something - better than nothing etc.
I also listen to podcasts audiobooks serials etc and often say ‘ok 4 half hours episodes of whatever- then allot an episode or chapter to a task or a break. This really helps me focus.
Good luck op.
Dive in - who cares what shade of white - if it needs to be painted it will look tons better than it does now no matter what shade !!

Thanks everyone! I am still struggling to plan the days.. I am hoping once school starts I can blitz using your tips. White gloss is sounding great atm! I blame Pinterest, too much choice!

I can relate. I find lack of sleep really hammers both decision making and my ability to get up from the sofa.

My mantra is "done is better than perfect".

I have tried TOMM, but I think I prefer blitzing the housework on Mondays, more in line with the Flylady Home Blessing Hour.

Be kind to.yourself. you are working, running a household and have kids. That doesn't leave a lot of time. Add on a global pandemic where we have been expected to home school and keep kids at home with sniffles and temps ( which happens all the bloody time!) And I feel like I'm drowning.

I second what pp said about grandparent help. We have none. When exactly can you do diy with kids running around?

I don't procrastinate. Why not just make a start. Go and buy some taster pots of paint and try them on your wall. Message or contact 3 tradesman. Then at least you'll feel better that you've done something.

I write everything down even the small jobs like send a card for x’s birthday. Then I work through it but throw one bigger job in per week/fortnight

E.g. Daily - wash, put away, dishwasher, tidy up (things that are out not big tidy), set uniform out, make tea

Then I decide where a bigger job is going so I’m going to send off our passports and clear out a cupboard this week and I’ll write down like an appointment when I’ll do that. I try and make the most of doing things weekday nights because I like relaxing at the weekend.

It’s hard though with children, work, their clubs etc!

The worse advice for someone like me is ‘don’t be too hard on yourself’ because I need to be harder! I’m already too easy on myself!

Thanks. I do write endless lists and then lose them, or more likely, get too scared to look at them!
I also seem to have learnt as a kid that a lot of stuff, if I didn’t do it, it went away. Obviously this is not a helpful view!
I’m thinking from here, list..in book with red cover so I don’t lose it!
Do little stuff so you are starting at least..doesn’t have to be fab. E.g card for xs birthday can be crap card from newsagents, just get it sent!
Thanks to you, I’m almost getting excited at the thought of getting the sander out..🤪
Now if I can just get this kitchen clean!

Also 1angelic, though I’m not in a position to advise!, I did find not being hard on yourself but saying well done! Really helps. So well done! I got the kids fed! Rather than , ooh I only gave them toast and it’s not organic and I’m crap.
Sounds daft but it helped me a lot..thanks for reminding me! Hope it might work for you x

I haven't had time to read the full thread so sorry if this is repeating things but OP have you looked into ADHD? I ask because what you describe is really similar to what I experience as someone with ADHD and with the best will in the world, the standard advice on how to get stuff done just doesn't work for me. Since getting diagnosed I've found advice specific to people with inattentive ADHD (ie issues with concentration, follow through, procrastination) is what has helped me actually get sh** done.