recharging your batteries with primary aged kids

littlegiant · 27/12/2021 22:21

Following! Primary age + terrible two toddler

Nocutenamesleft · 27/12/2021 22:24

I homeschool my children. So I never ever get a break. Not even 5 mins

I find that at that age. I was able to give them loooooong baths. They loved baths! It meant I could just sit for a few hours. (Yes they were often in the bath for hours. I was there with them obviously!!).

The other thing mine loved (and myself I might add). Is getting waterproofs on them. Filling up a sink of water with bubbles. Putting out paint. And let them go wild. They can paint. They can ‘wash’ stuff. The opportunities are endless!

If you can stand it. Saucepans. Wooden spoons. And they’ve got hours of fun! Making music. Anything that makes noise can join.

deeedeee · 27/12/2021 22:29

If you’ve money to throw at the problem , hotel with crèche/ kids club

TulipsGarden · 27/12/2021 22:32

I've taken next week off as annual leave so I actually get a break.

Hankunamatata · 27/12/2021 22:35

primary age - hand over and and all electronic devices, no time limits and let them have at it

hemhem · 27/12/2021 22:38

We've just spent 3 days with their cousins (so 4 kids aged 7, 5, 3 and 2) and apart from the 2yr old they manged to entertain themselves pretty well for a good few hours at a time. It helped having lots of new toys to play with together.

Do you have family with similar aged children that you can visit at all?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 27/12/2021 22:39

DH and I periodically give each other days off where we take kids to DPIL/ my mum and let the other one just be at home with no one for 7-8h.

Other than that, nope.

We have a 6.5yo and 2x 3.5yos. They are awesome but JFC. The mess, the noise, the squabbling, the random insane shit they do FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON like DD2 colouring in her arms green today, or DD1 deciding to try and stand on top of the laundry basket, or DS licking the floor. I mean, why?

The only other thing I do is yoga every night just to relax after a day of "stop doing that, put your pants on, wash your hands, don't take her toy" etc etc.

Original poster

278466fgh3 · 27/12/2021 22:50

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff yes, i think the most we've managed to do is the giving the other person a day off. Probably just need a moan but honestly I just dont think that either of will feel any more relaxed by the time we've back at work than before. Both work full time and DH is great with the kids and everything else. So its not like he's not pulling his weight. But I feel like I am either playing/refereeing the kids, doing chores, cooking, cleaning, visiting......am knackered......

I need at least three days to myself without doing anything. or looking after anyone. DH is the same. It's never going to happen.

Been reading a few threads about teenagers feeling jealous of all the time you get back once your kids dont get up till midday.

OP posts:

Goldbar · 27/12/2021 22:55

Book a babysitter, leave all the baking/crafty activities you can't be arsed to do and go out for the day.

Fidgetty · 27/12/2021 22:55

I think luck plays a part here too in regards to your children's temperament. I have a 4&5yo and this morning I lazed about in bed for ages reading a book while they played. DH was out for a run. My sister has similar aged DC and she could NEVER get away with doing that as her DC are just a bit wild and would no doubt get up to crazy antics. My DC are just naturally more placid and while they can be trying in many ways, they have never been the type to climb all over the place/trash the house etc. they just potter.

I got up and went for a long walk in the woods with the dog while DH stayed at home/played outside with them. Then when I got back we put a film on for them and I had a long shower and a leisurely lunch. It was a very relaxing morning. They typically get more arsey as the day goes on and tiredness sets in but my self-indulgent mornings are relaxing enough to feel recharged overall.

Jellycatspyjamas · 27/12/2021 22:56

*The other thing mine loved (and myself I might add). Is getting waterproofs on them. Filling up a sink of water with bubbles. Putting out paint. And let them go wild. They can paint. They can ‘wash’ stuff. The opportunities are endless!

If you can stand it. Saucepans. Wooden spoons. And they’ve got hours of fun! Making music. Anything that makes noise can join.*

That’s fine for pre-school but my 9 and 10 year old would look at me like I’d lost my mind. They still need supervision and entertaining to some degree but “washing things” isn’t on their list of things they’d remotely want to do.

OP I don’t think holidays are relaxing for parents until they’re in teen years, unless you overdose them on screen time.

The2Omicronnies · 27/12/2021 23:01

I was thinking exactly this earlier today. We’ve been staying with my parents and childless sister over Christmas. Despite the fact that they have kindly been hosting us (of course I helped out too), today we have come home and had to unpack, find new homes for their gifts, play with gifts, all whilst squeezing in the regular chores. Meanwhile, I know my parents and sister were having a TV day. It’s the non stop thinking and planning that bothers me. Even if I manage 5 minutes alone, I’m bloody thinking of when I can squeeze in the next supermarket trip 😭

Original poster

278466fgh3 · 27/12/2021 23:06

@The2Omicronnies exactly this was us yesterday. I was sooooo jealous of my sister. She can play with them, be the fun aunt and go home. Relax, recharge her batteries, read etc. Mine want us involved and mainly either bicker or want to do different things so am yet again involved. In the summer, we often do go to hotels with a kid club or book some time off but it just doesnt seem to work over Christmas.

OP posts:

CanIPleaseHaveOne · 27/12/2021 23:35

@278466fgh3

Can you ever really have a holiday over Christmas with primary school children? we've got almost two weeks off but it feels like we wont feel any more relaxed or refreshed having done Christmas and been looking after the kids the whole time. Anyone else got any suggestions as to how to relax and actually recharge your batteries with little ones? Or do we just have to write it off till they hit the teenage years?

It is HARDER for parents when school is out - quadruple the work load at least.

The only thing I found helpful was booking a babysitter for the afternoon /early evening.
They come, play with the kids, feed them, put them to bed.

You have late lunch, early film, early bird something or other (you get the idea), and come home when they are asleep BUT you still have the evening!

It honsetly felt like we had a whole day off!!

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 28/12/2021 04:50

Sally Donovan is an adopter, like me, and she writes about the 'me holiday'. I won't be able to express it as well as she does but basically you stop doing anything completely non essential for a bit to give yourself a break. You don't worry about tidying/hoovering etc (I find this quite hard) and you don't do any homework - tell school you won't be doing any if need be - and you don't do any activities that are too demanding. You don't cook anything too difficult, you eat simple stuff like jacket potatoes and things that can be put in the oven. You allow the kids a bit more screen time and you don't feel guilty about not doing any music practice or anything like that.

This works very well in our family, my kids are older now and are at the sleeping in and being on their phones a lot stage. When they were younger I was often very tired and getting to breaking point as they have a lot of emotional and behavioural issues between them and woke up very early as well as taking a lot of time to get off to sleep. I found that giving myself permission to slow down a bit and not do everything at once for a few days helped me to recharge more than having babysitters for an evening.

This works well with primary aged children because unlike toddlers you can take your eyes off them for more than a few seconds.

Sallly Donovan's book is called The Unofficial Guide to Adoptive Parenting and has some very good tips for any parent about how to look after yourself.

ConsuelaHammock · 28/12/2021 04:59

Television and electronics?

Kbyodjs · 28/12/2021 06:00

In the week before Christmas I was at home for 2 days with the kids and at work for 2 days and I felt less tired and stressed after the days at work. I wish I’d thought ahead and booked a day off for when the kids are back at school just to relax. I’ve been quite relaxed on screen time and also find meeting up with other people with kids takes the pressure off

AllotmentTime · 28/12/2021 08:37

Nothing helpful to add but yep agree with all of this. I feel like the DC and MIL have been tag teaming us, both DH and I would just like a moment to sit and read one of our new books! Not gonna happen.

TrundlingAlong · 28/12/2021 09:00

What time do the DC go to bed? I think evenings are crucial for recharging your batteries. I try to get as much of the essential housework/admin as possible done while DC are awake so that I can enjoy a peaceful evening. That's when reading and relaxing happen. I make sure that Christmas tree lights are on and Christmassy snacks and drinks are out to make it feel more like holiday. Daytime is for more of the energetic, not-relaxing-but-hopefully-fun days out, visits to family and friends etc happen.

PineConeWar · 28/12/2021 09:00

That’s fine for pre-school but my 9 and 10 year old would look at me like I’d lost my mind. They still need supervision and entertaining to some degree but “washing things” isn’t on their list of things they’d remotely want to do.
I have several stock phrases when I want an hour or two peace and quiet to eat a biscuit and drink a cup of tea.
Let's look at your [ school subject]
I think we need to tidy your room
Let's go out for a walk

kokokokokokokokoko · 28/12/2021 09:04

two words: computer games.

MatildaIThink · 28/12/2021 09:12

I think it depends on your family situation, for me I am very lucky that my mum and brother are often around. Yesterday my brother looked after my kids (2 and 5) whilst my husband and I went ot for lunch together and picked up a few things for the house. My brother is also staying with us on New Year's Eve and so he will be up with the kids in the morning and will let me and my husband have a lay in which is lovely. I think without family helping and children it can be a long period without a break.

MiloAndEddie · 28/12/2021 09:48

Definitely screen time! Mine are early primary age but they will sit and watch a film. So you get 2ish hours off. Repeat 4x a day for the rest of the holidays

Simonjt · 28/12/2021 10:06

Huge lowering of standards.

I give him lego, tablet locked on a certain app etc and then go to my room, if he knocks on the door I just shout “I’m naked” that usually gets me at least half an hour of peace. If there was a genuine emergency he would still tell me, he now knows running out of oreos is not a genuine emergency.

Another one is taking advantage of my husbands too kind nature and saying things like “Did you know that ‘Dave’ is an expert in generation 1 Pokèmon” and I get a break while he is asked 3.6 million questions.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 28/12/2021 10:27

@ ""I'm naked"

Mine would just shout "me too" with enthusiasm and barge in

OP we are starting to train them to do some basic chores ie putting laundry away, putting dishes in dishwasher. Am hoping if we drum this into them now it will be second nature in a few years.