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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think eating out on Christmas Day is selfish

320 replies

Grapefruitmelon · 27/12/2021 18:23

I know that there will be people who say they appreciate the extra money and tips and not everyone celebrates Christmas and not everyone has a family to spend it with and I hear all that.

But just the same, it does force some people to come to work who’d rather not.

OP posts:
JohnJacobJingle · 28/12/2021 04:03

I agree. Being able to eat on Christmas Day is not an essential service. Those people deserve to be with their families.

If there are people utilising the service, there will be people dragged into work. Cruel.

ForagingForMullberries · 28/12/2021 04:17

@JohnJacobJingle

I agree. Being able to eat on Christmas Day is not an essential service. Those people deserve to be with their families.

If there are people utilising the service, there will be people dragged into work. Cruel.

@JohnJacobJingle Not everyone celebrates Christmas, many, many many people don't from Jehovah's Witnesses to various Christian sects, to Muslims and Jews. To say they can't go to restaurants on that day is cruel and ignorant.
ForagingForMullberries · 28/12/2021 04:17

@JohnJacobJingle Christmas is not an essential day, and shouldn't be a holiday.

userxx · 28/12/2021 08:11

@JohnJacobJingle

I agree. Being able to eat on Christmas Day is not an essential service. Those people deserve to be with their families.

If there are people utilising the service, there will be people dragged into work. Cruel.

Yep, cruel to earn triple what you usually would. You do realise some people don't give a fuck about Christmas Day and would rather see £££ in their pay packet.

Insert1x20p · 28/12/2021 08:22

You can't assume that everyone feels the same about Christmas as you - even though I've always technically celebrated it, I was pretty "meh" about it from about 15 until when I had my own kids a few decades later. Definitely from 16-21 I'd have happily worked part of Christmas Day for double time and tips. I have a feeling quite a few young people feel the same.

Doomscrolling · 28/12/2021 08:24

I always rather enjoyed working on Christmas Day - the atmosphere was lovely and the tips and extra pay a great help. We’d organise something after our shift or we’d have a belated Christmas Day celebrating on the next day off.

FluffyBooBoo · 28/12/2021 08:47

[quote ForagingForMullberries]@JohnJacobJingle Christmas is not an essential day, and shouldn't be a holiday.[/quote]
Interesting.

Would you say that religious public holidays in other countries should not be public holidays too? After all, they aren't essential either.

Would you tell people in Israel that they shouldn't have Yom Kippur off, for example?

SawdustAndHay · 28/12/2021 08:58

@MissTrip82
The selfishness of some who enjoy Christmas with their families without a thought for those who do not always dismays me.
Well, if people didn’t have Christmas with our extended families then a lot more single people would be alone. If I don’t spend Christmas with my family while DH is here then where will I be when he’s dead (if not also dead). I am maintaining family bonds. It isn’t selfish.
Your argument seems to be that the interests of people who are alone trump the interests of those who aren’t. The OP feels that the interests of people with families who want to spend time with them should trump most other considerations. I tend to agree.

Grapefruitmelon · 28/12/2021 09:00

And to add to that, I’m not convinced that the pubs and restaurants are heaving with lonely people. Mostly it is families.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 28/12/2021 09:00

@Grapefruitmelon

And to add to that, I’m not convinced that the pubs and restaurants are heaving with lonely people. Mostly it is families.
How do you know that?
Grapefruitmelon · 28/12/2021 09:04

I very rarely see lone diners even without it being Christmas, Purple. It is pretty rare as most people dine out as a social experience.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 28/12/2021 09:06

You’ve eaten out a lot at Christmas?

Grapefruitmelon · 28/12/2021 09:09

I take it you have Purple and have seen that the restaurants are filled with sole diners, is that right?

And they need to be open because of the needs of these lonely people?

OP posts:
JuergenSchwarzwald · 28/12/2021 09:10

@ivykaty44

Ive worked in hospitality and you often get to choose nye or xmas

but I think supermarkets should be closed for two days, that actually seems to be happening now with many supermarkets - its just not needed that they'd be open on Boxing Day

The staff still work on Boxing Day though. Admittedly they don't have to put up with rude customers if the shop is closed while they do stocktaking etc.

I never understand the concern over working Sundays or bank holidays either. People want to work those days and it's not for other patronising middle class do-gooders to tell them they don't. I imagine quite a lot of young adults would prefer to miss Christmas with deaf Great Aunt Maud or wandering hands Uncle Barney and earn some cash instead.

Cofifeefee · 28/12/2021 09:11

@Grapefruitmelon did you watch tv or listen to the radio on Christmas Day? If everyone just played charades like in the good old days, there'd be no need for people working to bring us the non-essential films and Christmas specials that are so popular but you know, selfish acts.

You have resolutely ignored all viewpoints and real life experiences that differ from your opinion. Why bother start a discussion when you don't actually want to discuss?

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 28/12/2021 09:15

@Cofifeefee I think the OP wanted to show off how thoughtful and selfless she is.

Next year, OP, as you are so kind and concerned that people have an enjoyable Christmas, why don't you volunteer for a charity event. Lots of organisations put on lunches for people that are alone or too poor to afford to cook their own. They are always desperate for help.

Grapefruitmelon · 28/12/2021 09:16

You have resolutely ignored all viewpoints

No, not at all. I do disagree with some though, especially the view that restaurants need to be open so that people who would otherwise be on their own have somewhere to go. That just doesn’t tally with my own experiences at all.

Most of the arguments seem to be - but people would rather be earning money (fair enough but you can’t know that and some are there because they have to be) it helps out the restaurants (that’s not why you do it though) what about emergency services (obviously slightly different!) and what about people who don’t celebrate Christmas (free to do as they like but pretty much all countries have major religious festivals observed regardless of whether you follow that religion or not.)

I read that post by @Onthedowns and i noticed it was resolutely ignored by all those in favour of eating out at Christmas. Ignoring viewpoints works both ways.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 28/12/2021 09:16

@Grapefruitmelon

I take it you have Purple and have seen that the restaurants are filled with sole diners, is that right?

And they need to be open because of the needs of these lonely people?

No, but I have worked in hospitality and depending on the type of restaurant, there can be a surprising number of lone diners. Local pub lone regulars are really common. One of the places I worked in had a couple of older people who would come in every day and I’m pretty sure we were the only people we saw.

What do you propose these people do at Christmas?

Sometimes there were big families who would have struggled to fit into someone’s house.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 28/12/2021 09:17

Also I hope you didn't go shopping on Christmas Eve, when very many parents working in retail would rather be spending the day with their children

Womencanlift · 28/12/2021 09:17

What the OP and some other posters are struggling (or choosing not to) understand is that everyone’s Christmas is different. There are some who choose not to celebrate, don’t want to celebrate or are not fixed on celebrating on the 25th.

OP is saying it is selfish for people to be forced to work on the 25th December. Maybe the selfish act is stopping people earning a living when they are quite happy to do so - as many posters have said that they are (or their children are).

The argument will be that some don’t want to be there and the big bad bosses are forcing them to be but you could say that about any day of the year as that covers birthdays, anniversaries, other religious celebrations, etc. Is the OP and others up in arms about that too? Probably not

Grapefruitmelon · 28/12/2021 09:18

I know you were trying to mock me Daphne but actually I spent years volunteering at Christmas. I’ve done my bit now and I won’t be doing it again for a good while.

However I’m neither notably thoughtless or selfless. I just think people should be able to have a day off on Christmas Day if possible.

OP posts:
Uniforn · 28/12/2021 09:22

@Womencanlift

What the OP and some other posters are struggling (or choosing not to) understand is that everyone’s Christmas is different. There are some who choose not to celebrate, don’t want to celebrate or are not fixed on celebrating on the 25th.

OP is saying it is selfish for people to be forced to work on the 25th December. Maybe the selfish act is stopping people earning a living when they are quite happy to do so - as many posters have said that they are (or their children are).

The argument will be that some don’t want to be there and the big bad bosses are forcing them to be but you could say that about any day of the year as that covers birthdays, anniversaries, other religious celebrations, etc. Is the OP and others up in arms about that too? Probably not

I agree with this, christmas day isn't equal to everyone in terms of importance, and if a business is happy to open then it's not unreasonable for people to go. The money we used to make over Christmas would tide us over the typically quieter January, and Christmas day was a bit part of that. Also lovely to see so many families meeting up for lunch. You could argue lots of things are unfair, or that you don't think they should be allowed because you are assuming how the workers feel.
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 28/12/2021 09:26

I can't believe this thread is still going. What a total non issue to be debating. Don't wanna work over Xmas? Choose an office job. Simples. I don't understand all the angst.

MyOtherProfile · 28/12/2021 09:26

I used to teach in an area with a large majority of children from Muslim backgrounds and INSET days would be arranged over Eid. So I do think you can be sensitive to peoples cultural backgrounds.
This shows that you're not really aware. How did your Muslim staff cope with having inset over Eid? Or in this very Muslim area did you only have non Muslim staff? That would be a bit rubbish.

We have eaten out on Christmas day a couple of times in recent years - would have preferred to eat at home but it wasn't possible (and going into why would be too outing). I chatted with the staff each time and found that none were working both noon and evening so all felt they could celebrate with family at home for at least part of the day. All said it was a nice time to work because of the atmosphere and extra pay.

So I don't feel guilty at all and don't think it was selfish.

FluffyBooBoo · 28/12/2021 09:28

There is a place local to me that specifically have a large table reserved for Christmas Day, for people that would otherwise be alone. They get to join other people that would be on their own at Christmas.