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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think eating out on Christmas Day is selfish

320 replies

Grapefruitmelon · 27/12/2021 18:23

I know that there will be people who say they appreciate the extra money and tips and not everyone celebrates Christmas and not everyone has a family to spend it with and I hear all that.

But just the same, it does force some people to come to work who’d rather not.

OP posts:
elbea · 27/12/2021 21:34

You are surely projecting your idea of what Christmas Day should be onto others and refusing to accept that others don’t have the same values as you. As a student I didn’t have a family home to go back to quite often, working with others was quite nice otherwise I was just sat at home with nothing else to do.

Most people aren’t Christian in this country so the idea of a religious holiday isn’t relevant to most. You could just as easily celebrate on Boxing Day in this case because it is really just a day you spend with family and give presents.

Original poster
Grapefruitmelon · 27/12/2021 21:37

I don’t think I am. More that I think if you do have a family and want to spend the day with them and can’t - that really is a shame - and the more people who elicit to eat out, the more people will be in this position.

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 27/12/2021 21:38

not everyone celebrates Christmas and not everyone has a family to spend it with and I hear all that.

this ^

Hope that helps.

tigger1001 · 27/12/2021 21:39

@Grapefruitmelon

I think the act is a selfish one rather than individuals are selfish personally.
You can flip that on it's head though.

Is it selfish to suggest bars and restaurants shouldn't open on Christmas Day, especially given the last almost 2 years for the hospitality industry. It very well may mean the difference between remaining in business or closing for good. Staff having a job or not. Especially after people cancelling left right and centre earlier in the month. January is usually a very quiet month in normal times, so these businesses "make hay while the sun shines"

I don't eat out for Christmas dinner. I love to cook so do it myself. But I also appreciate not everyone is the same.

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 27/12/2021 21:40

@Grapefruitmelon

It’s one of those chicken and egg things though. If customers didn’t book the tables, restaurants wouldn’t open. And that’s why I do think it’s a bit selfish, tbh.
How can you book a table for a day when a restaurant is closed though?!
Notthemessiah · 27/12/2021 21:41

It would make me uncomfortable going out to eat on Christmas Day and not knowing if everyone working was happy to be doing so (so I never would).

<strong>Looks like there are plenty of people who don’t care though.</strong>

Stop being so bloody pious and let people get on with what they want to do. I bet you've been out to eat at Easter or on Mothers' Day.

You seem a little defensive. I'm not trying to stop anyone doing anything - it's up to you whether you think the things you 'get on with' impact others negatively and if you care about it or not.

DroopyClematis · 27/12/2021 21:42

It wasn't too long ago that everything shut down over Christmas and that only the emergency services worked.

The notion of shops , hospitality etc... opening on Christmas Day is moderately recent. I'm fairly sure that pubs opened on a reduced timetable.

So good to hear that some shops closed on Sunday to allow staff to have proper time off.

I really think that restaurants and pubs should all shut on Christmas Day. It's galling to think that people expect so much to be open for them 24/7.

Surely we can all cope with one day off at home, once a year? Emergency services exempted but on a rota and paid extra?

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 27/12/2021 21:44

@Grapefruitmelon

I don’t think I am. More that I think if you do have a family and want to spend the day with them and can’t - that really is a shame - and the more people who elicit to eat out, the more people will be in this position.
But you have absolutely no idea/data/speculative articles to possibly know what %age of people who work in hospitality on Christmas Day or Boxing Day want/don't want to! My brother loved it when he was a teenager and I work with someone who still works certain bank holidays for the pub she left her full time position at almost two years ago for the extra money.
jalepenopopper · 27/12/2021 21:44

@Grapefruitmelon but the same could be said all year round...if you are at a restaurant on any day how are you comfortable not knowing if they want to be at work? Christmas Day is not the ONLY day of the year to be with family!!
You need to get a grip!

ilovesooty · 27/12/2021 21:45

@Notthemessiah

It would make me uncomfortable going out to eat on Christmas Day and not knowing if everyone working was happy to be doing so (so I never would). 
<strong>Looks like there are plenty of people who don’t care though.</strong>

Stop being so bloody pious and let people get on with what they want to do. I bet you've been out to eat at Easter or on Mothers' Day.

You seem a little defensive. I'm not trying to stop anyone doing anything - it's up to you whether you think the things you 'get on with' impact others negatively and if you care about it or not.

Your first paragraph is your own choice. You seriously didn't expect a reaction to your second one?
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 27/12/2021 21:46

Fucking hell, I've heard it all now. My local pub were very glad of our business on Christmas Day. I can't even begin to conceive of how helping to keep a local business open is in any way selfish. I take it you can't afford Christmas lunch out OP.

Nocutenamesleft · 27/12/2021 21:51

Jesus

If only people didn’t get sick. Then drs and nurses wouldn’t have to work Christmas Day too!

The selfishness of people!

Confiscatedpopit · 27/12/2021 22:11

@chocolatesaltyballs22

Fucking hell, I've heard it all now. My local pub were very glad of our business on Christmas Day. I can't even begin to conceive of how helping to keep a local business open is in any way selfish. I take it you can't afford Christmas lunch out OP.
You’ve really shown yourself up with that last sentence.
CheesecakeAddict · 27/12/2021 22:13

I worked in a pub as a teenager and had to work Christmas and as a result, I would never eat out Christmas day. We were forced, we were not allowed to attend church and come to work after (one very religious girl did and was fired at the end of our shift), tips were kept and added to the till, drunk men thinking they were flattering you by hitting on you and getting angry when you didn't reciprocate their advances, not getting our breaks because of how rammed we were, being so rammed management overlook various health and safety regulations leading to life long scaring. I get that some sectors need to run on Christmas day to keep society going, but restaurants are not one of them.

MissTrip82 · 27/12/2021 22:25

I think people who expect hospitality to be closed are extremely self-centred.

How awful to be completely oblivious to all the desperately lonely people who eat out as their bit of contact over Christmas.

I love that our local maccas provides somewhere reasonably priced where people can gather on what for some is an extremely difficult day.

The selfishness of some who enjoy Christmas with their families without a thought for those who do not always dismays me.

I have worked most christmases since becoming a dr - before that I worked most christmases in the job that kept me afloat during medical school.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 27/12/2021 22:29

You’ve really shown yourself up with that last sentence.

Oh no. I won't sleep tonight from the absolute shame of it all 🙄

lonelylou09 · 27/12/2021 22:29

I totally agree with you. My 22yo ds has just had to work Christmas day as he works in a hotel restaurant. He didn't really have a choice as they were serving all 3 meals so all the staff had to work at some point.
He said they had all tried to say no but didn't have any choice as it's their job at the end of the day.
I always thought it was a great idea going out for Christmas lunch just to save on the washing up...but even tho my ds is grown I still wanted to be able to spend the day with him as dis the rest of his family.
They only got time and half which isn't enough in my opinion.
I definitely now think it's selfish to expect people to give up Thier day for your own enjoyment.

WeeWeeWeeeee · 27/12/2021 22:30

I really enjoyed working as a waitress or doing bar work on Christmas Day in my late teens and early 20’s, as did DH. Even once he’d changed careers he continued to take extra shifts until it no longer suited our circumstances (health).
Whilst the pay and tips were great, the majority of the customers were older or lonely/without a family of their own. It was initially just part of the job description but became a lot more to us.

Womencanlift · 27/12/2021 22:35

We were one of these horrible people that had our Christmas lunch in a restaurant this year. Reason being is that we spent most of the day sitting with a family member in hospital and for the period we were not allowed in the ward we went to a nearby restaurant to eat as we couldn’t go back home for that short amount of time.

The restaurant was buzzing including the staff. We spoke to one waitress who was going around encouraging people to pull their crackers and wear their hats. She also pointed out that her whole family were coming to the later sitting and she couldn’t wait.

Finally she mentioned that they had loads of enquiries for last minute bookings, even that morning, because people found themselves in situations where they were supposed to go somewhere for Christmas lunch but then couldn’t because people tested positive at the house they were going to. She mentioned it because she couldn’t believe how many people had found themselves in that situation.

Those bookings were probably grateful that somewhere was open since shops were not and they likely had little in if they had planned to be away. Just like we were grateful to find somewhere who could accommodate us when we needed to eat

TinselTroels · 27/12/2021 22:36

The restaurant my Ds works in is so short of regular staff. He was scheduled from 23rd Dec through to 28th December only got the 29th off as an annual leave day for a family event. His hours have gone manic over Christmas 12 hour days, he much rather have been with his fiancee and us. Being off 29th leaves his friend alone in the kitchen, he feels guilty as hell about that too.

gofg · 27/12/2021 22:53

Supply and demand, I suppose … if no one booked, they wouldn’t open.

But they do.

I don't live in the UK. Of all the restaurants in my town only one is open for bookings on Christmas Day. I daresay if they all opened they would all be fully booked (if you don't book early for the one which is open you miss out). However they choose not to open - thus proving that it is the restaurant's choice, not the public's.

Honestly OP, the majority disagree with you - and yet you still insist you are right!

gofg · 27/12/2021 22:55

As for all these sob stories of people having to work Christmas Day and hating it - the remedy is in your own hands!

gofg · 27/12/2021 22:58

I really think that restaurants and pubs should all shut on Christmas Day. It's galling to think that people expect so much to be open for them 24/7.

And yet again - no-one forces anyone to be open on Christmas Day, it is the choice of the business owner!!!!! Why can't people get that????

InFiveMins · 27/12/2021 22:59

YANBU. I would never eat out over Christmas for this very reason. It's incredibly selfish.

Saddlesore · 27/12/2021 23:02

The year my father died, my mother was dreading Christmas without him. There was no way we could do all the familiar routines without him so my siblings and I decided that it would just have to be a very different Christmas in every way. We booked lunch at a really smart venue instead and, on that occasion, it was definitely the sort of event my mother needed. Sorry if that offends you, OP.