To not allow mother to my home

[Shockedmama]

She is vulnerable and I have COVID.
She has broken her electrics a week ago and won’t eat anyone in (a total other reason) she promised to let someone in today to do it but she hasn’t again ans now I’m ill ans she will want to come and stay here. I’m really stressed out as we don’t get on she makes no effort and the house is horrible I feel like it’s not my own. I’m so stressed and unwell but she will say she has no where else ro charge her phone
Iv been really unwell this afternoon but I’m stressing as she won’t tell anyone else and so it’s all on my shoulders. I feel I can’t leave her but I also feel my keep allowing her she’s going to keep putting it off as she keeps doing
I even offered to pay for someone I’m so frustrated

You need to worry about YOURSELF-you have fucking Covid and you're on here posting about a 60-year old nasty,manipulative and abusive bitch! This is really absurd! She should be worried about you! She should be dropping off food and texting you inquiring if you want or need something! She's bitching at you cause you aren't fixing her issue?!!! If she can call and bitch at you she can call an electrician in! When you recover you have got to go see a therapist and discuss this awful enmesh and codependency with your mother.

OP, love, you must listen.
I am more or less no contact with my mother for similar reasons. I had to step away for my own mental health.

You are utterly enmeshed in the FOG and your life will continue this way until you start pulling away.

You gave Covid. You are ill. She doesn't care.
Her only focus is what you can do for her.
She wants YOU to take responsibility and ownership for HER hoarding and all the emotional baggage that entails.
She knows that an electrician would see the mess, so she's putting all her energy into bullying you into sorting it.
She could do it herself but bullying you is driving her more.

What does this say about her?

She will not ever change.
You must protect yourself.

You need to get angry, very angry and step right away. Report her to the appropriate agencies and them deal with her.

You cannot help her because you are way to enmeshed with her. You have become part of the issue.

I know your right iv been avoiding blocking but can’t anymore
Social care say they will only help someone with their consent do I’m stuck but I think I need to go nc for a few days, she has now said she wants to say goodbye to my little one which has absolutely disgusted me and just proves there’s no actual consideration for our feelings

@Shockedmama

I know your right iv been avoiding blocking but can’t anymore Social care say they will only help someone with their consent do I’m stuck but I think I need to go nc for a few days, she has now said she wants to say goodbye to my little one which has absolutely disgusted me and just proves there’s no actual consideration for our feelings

Like Random says, you must get angry. Saying goodbye to your DC? Can you see how incredibly manipulative that is?

I became angry with my DM when I saw her trying to manipulate my own DC - subtle, emotionally charged texting in her case, designed to slowly start paving the way for FOG. No fucking way are my DC being exposed to that level of insidiousness.

Get angry. She is an adult who has created her own situation and is demanding that you take the weight of that. Get angry.

How are you feeling with the covid? Who's looking out for you and your DC?

It's a classic manipulation tactic. Just block her until you are well again, then decide what you want to do.

You are in a terribly abusive relationship with this awful, manipulative woman.

Ring the police and ask them to do a welfare check and block her number.

What a miserable life you have dealing with this daily.

You have a child?
How awful for them, that you are so sick and stressed out by this woman.

Please ring Women's Aid for support.

I don’t think I know how to put myself first iv been made to feel like it’s selfish for so long. I always knew my mother was narcisstic but she’s also really caring sometimes ( most of the time actually) but these events can’t go on. And yes I absolutely won’t allow my daughter to be pulled into this anymore than she has by watching her mother fight tears away all day. I have finally realised that if she is capable of sending me these messages and voicemails all day every day she is capable of calling the electric company and my health has to come first for my child

You have a child???

NC for a long long time, your DC deserve your time, love, attention and to not have an abusive grandparent abusing their Mum and by default them.