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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not want sister and family to come along tomorrow?

39 replies

JessePinkmanYo · 26/12/2021 23:21

Belated xmas family gathering tomorrow. We haven't been together since the summer. Parents and grown up siblings and their children. Parents have organised something special (I don't know what this is - it's a surprise) One of my sisters has recently had covid in her household. Her ds was first but is now negative after 8 days isolation. Sister and my niece have been negative throughout. But her husband is positive on lateral flow.

We have been asked if we would be okay with my sister and the 2 kids coming along seeing as their lateral flows are negative. (She isn't actually decided she would come - just gaging thoughts and opinions)

Less of an AIBU really and more of WWYD? I'm inclined to say no. I'm uncomfortable. I've concerns about myself getting it and dealing with work and isolation etc.

OP posts:
Janedoe82 · 26/12/2021 23:24

I have had this- we didn’t see them as too risky.

Janedoe82 · 26/12/2021 23:25

Lateral flows only 70% accurate too.

ANameChangeAgain · 26/12/2021 23:28

I think you are safe. My dc had it, then my husband but I never did, I did lateral flows and a pcr. If they aren't shedding covid then you won't catch it from them.

Original poster
JessePinkmanYo · 26/12/2021 23:33

Thanks for replies.

@ANameChangeAgain what does that mean, 'shedding covid'?

OP posts:
SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 26/12/2021 23:36

They need to test again in the morning, if all negative I wouldn't have a problem

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 26/12/2021 23:37

My sis, mum & nephew had it...I didn't get it!

Original poster
JessePinkmanYo · 26/12/2021 23:41

They need to test again in the morning, if all negative I wouldn't have a problem

That's what they've said, if the 3 of them all do lateral flows again in morning and all still negative. But I'm still not sure as husband is still obviously positive and on self-isolation.

OP posts:
Original poster
JessePinkmanYo · 26/12/2021 23:42

What if sister and niece have it but it isn't coming up on laterals is what I'm thinking.

OP posts:
LovingLivingLife · 26/12/2021 23:48

I think for me it would depend on if the activity is indoors or outside. Outside wouldn't be an issue and I would perhaps just keep my distance.

If it was indoors I would politely say that I am uncomfortable with it, but that if everyone else is fine with it then I would just withdraw myself from the activity.

Original poster
JessePinkmanYo · 26/12/2021 23:53

Its outside

OP posts:
WorriedGiraffe · 26/12/2021 23:54

If it’s outside and they test negative id let them come.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 26/12/2021 23:56

Outside? Crack on, OP, you'll be fine.

Meowwwwwww · 27/12/2021 00:21

It’s outside? Yes of course thag would be fine with me.

RB68 · 27/12/2021 00:23

shedding Covid refers to how covid spreads. Like any virus it spreads through th body of the infected person shedding the virus and the person receiving a viral load. Once that viral load reaches a certain level your immune system is ovrwhelmed and the virus takes a hold and you catch the virus (ie Covid).

If th DH is isolating at home (ie no contact with others) and they are taking normal precautions such as ensuring bathrooms seperate/cleaned, lots of wipe down and handwashing etc I don't see an issue with you meeting up outside, perhaps they could also wear masks just in case (the ones who have not yet had it) even though outside as they do for the most part prevent those with it spreading it

DukkaTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 27/12/2021 00:24

DH and I didn’t catch it from our DC.

If they test negative before they come I would go.

Normski67 · 27/12/2021 00:28

I wouldn’t want to see them. We had a meet up planned last Sunday. A friend’s son tested positive on PCR that day and friend was testing negative on LTF. Friend insisted they were ok to come and meet up. I disagreed and dropped out. Guess what? They tested positive on Weds and now 3/5 people who attended are now positive.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 27/12/2021 00:40

If they've been doing daily lateral flows and they're all negative then I'd be happy to have them. I've worked on research on this area and feel LFTs are often under - appreciated, as they're extremely good at detecting when people are actually infectious. Although one LFT in isolation is not foolproof, it is very unlikely that they would be infectious and yet getting negatives 2 days in a row. LFTs are generally thought to pick up an active (symptomatic) infection about 80% of the time, so to get two false negatives in a row from someone who's actually shedding would only happen 4 times in a hundred. Get them to do another test on arrival (so 3 negative LFTs) and you take that down to 0.2 times in a hundred, ie 1 in 500.

SnarkyBag · 27/12/2021 01:29

If it’s outside I’d be fine with it

MrzClaus · 27/12/2021 08:39

They've got negative LF tests and it's outdoors - sounds fine. LF can pick up when you're most infectious (even with symptoms) as it can detect the higher viral load.

Tbh they don't need to isolate under current guidance, and you could be in close contact in everyday life with any number of people in the same situation. Personally, I'd attend with them!

Dishwashersaurous · 27/12/2021 09:33

Outside. Low risk

Negative lft within hours of seeing you. Low risk.

Kisskiss · 27/12/2021 09:35

Those lateral flow tests don’t seem to be so accurate in this wave, I know people who had symptoms for 3-5days, testing negative on lateral flows for those days, then finally testing positive on pcr and lateral flow maybe 2 days afterwards..

Kbyodjs · 27/12/2021 09:43

When your kids go to school they’ll be constantly around other kids who have it at home and the same at work so unless you’re vulnerable my approach is to just go with it at this point

5128gap · 27/12/2021 10:00

I wouldn't say no, and would be fine with her being there, as presumably the rest of the family are. If you're still anxious despite it being perfectly legal and them not having covid you should stay away yourself. I don't think its reasonable for people to be refused things due to someone else's anxiety, and a bit selfish to expect it.

Marianne1234 · 27/12/2021 10:03

Yeah why don’t you miss out if you’re so worried

CagneyNYPD1 · 27/12/2021 10:07

As long as they still test negative on LFTs this morning, I would think it OK. But only for outside and I wouldn't be hugging etc.

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