Aibu to not want sister and family to come along tomorrow?

[JessePinkmanYo]

Belated xmas family gathering tomorrow. We haven't been together since the summer. Parents and grown up siblings and their children. Parents have organised something special (I don't know what this is - it's a surprise) One of my sisters has recently had covid in her household. Her ds was first but is now negative after 8 days isolation. Sister and my niece have been negative throughout. But her husband is positive on lateral flow.

We have been asked if we would be okay with my sister and the 2 kids coming along seeing as their lateral flows are negative. (She isn't actually decided she would come - just gaging thoughts and opinions)

Less of an AIBU really and more of WWYD? I'm inclined to say no. I'm uncomfortable. I've concerns about myself getting it and dealing with work and isolation etc.

@Kisskiss

Those lateral flow tests don’t seem to be so accurate in this wave, I know people who had symptoms for 3-5days, testing negative on lateral flows for those days, then finally testing positive on pcr and lateral flow maybe 2 days afterwards..

In this situation it's possible they had a regular cold first, then caught Covid. Lateral flow tests are actually most accurate when you have symptoms and research has validated them at around 80% sensitivity in this situation, so the probability of getting several negative LFTs in a row while symptomatic with Covid is really low (I'm a researcher & keep abreast of the literature) . But there are some horrible colds going round at the moment. My kids all had colds, all negative on PCR. I've had a grotty 10-day cold, negative every day on LFT. Meanwhile my boyfriend has had Covid, which was a lot milder than the cold. If I had caught it from him while I had the cold, it would have looked like I was just taking a few days to test positive for Covid.

If they test negative and you still don't want to see them, then it's you that should bow out. They would be following the rules, you would be making up extra rules. It would be really horrible if you to make your sisters children miss out because of your anxiety, so just don't go.

@DivorcedAndDelighted

If they've been doing daily lateral flows and they're all negative then I'd be happy to have them. I've worked on research on this area and feel LFTs are often under - appreciated, as they're extremely good at detecting when people are actually infectious. Although one LFT in isolation is not foolproof, it is very unlikely that they would be infectious and yet getting negatives 2 days in a row. LFTs are generally thought to pick up an active (symptomatic) infection about 80% of the time, so to get two false negatives in a row from someone who's actually shedding would only happen 4 times in a hundred. Get them to do another test on arrival (so 3 negative LFTs) and you take that down to 0.2 times in a hundred, ie 1 in 500.

Excellent advice . Thank you 😊

I'd be fine with it!

Indoors no, but outdoors after a very recent LFT, yes, I'd let them come. I'd be distancing from them though, which presumably will be possible.

I suppose the nature of the surprise would be relevant though. I think I'd want to check that there's no indoor element.

This would make me very uneasy.
A friend was visiting family recently and the daughters' boyfriend had been working with someone who had just tested positive, he was neg on LFT. The boyfriend said he would stay away if people felt uneasy, friend felt uncomfortable and said she would rather he stayed away. A few days later boyfriend tested positive. He may not have been contagious at that point but we will never know

I don't see an issue with you meeting up outside, perhaps they could also wear masks just in case (the ones who have not yet had it) even though outside as they do for the most part prevent those with it spreading it

Wearing a mask protects other people from you, it doesn't protect you from other people if it's a cloth mask. It needs to be a proper KN95 face mask and definitely the ones who have covid in the household should be wearing it.

I've had this situation twice over the holidays and whilst not entirely comfortable with it, did agree .

In both my cases, a household member was positive and the fully vaccinated (and boosted) adults they shared a home with never caught it.

I also have to say that if it's you not comfortable and SIL is following the rules, then it's you that should pull out, you shouldn't expect your SIL to not go.

You can't really catch Covid outside without prolonged face-to-face contact, so you're very safe if you're not hugging, kissing etc. I think I'd want to know exactly what the activity is before deciding so I'd insist on being told so I could gauge the level of risk.

Why does the household not need to isolate if two members of it have Covid?

@Drunkpanda

Why does the household not need to isolate if two members of it have Covid?

Because they don't. There's no such thing as household isolation anymore.

Ah. There is where I live, just brought back in due to omicron.

@Tricked2003

This would make me very uneasy. A friend was visiting family recently and the daughters' boyfriend had been working with someone who had just tested positive, he was neg on LFT. The boyfriend said he would stay away if people felt uneasy, friend felt uncomfortable and said she would rather he stayed away. A few days later boyfriend tested positive. He may not have been contagious at that point but we will never know

Almost certainly he would not have been contagious at that point, if it took several more days until he was testing positive on LFT. That's what's great about LFTs - they are really good at identifying when you're actually infectious, and if you're doing them regularly after an exposure they can allow you to pick it up at the point you need to know. Attached is a nice diagram comparing infected period, infectious period, and LFT and PCR positivity periods.