Brothers partner choosing not to get Covid jab means I can't see my parents this Christmas.

[CrabApple5]

So my brother met his now fiance 5months ago.She's from C19 Omni central in London and has a daughter 9 they have travelled up here for Xmas . I am very vulnerable to C19 as I have a generic disorder meaning though I've been double and boosted i m Still vulnerable to catching and getting ill if I caught this disease.We don't Know my brothers girlfriend fiance .My parents are in their 70s. Because of her she is not only putting my parents more at risk, I can't see them at all this Christmas as I would have done.Because it takes a fortnight for symptoms to show.My brother is Selfish and neither will do a lateral flow even before they go.AIBU?.

Absolutely i 100% agree.

For Several reasons.Primarily putting my parents in the position in the first place. They were of a generation which was polite, loving and not wanting to cause offence.They do not know her the girlfriend well enough to have a frank discussion is about insisting lateral flow test before enter hou se. It was Me and my husband supposed to go to my folks today but because he heard and they want to treat us the same they invited him GF and child.Also he hasn't to my knowledge told his GF just how vulnerable i am to getting sick th virus.He's lovestruck. Had got engaged after 5 months and frankly his brain is in his trousers at the moment. Hope that answers your question?!

Vaccinations and LFTs are helpful but no guarentee of "safety".

I had the booster a couple of weeks ago and could have socialised with a clean concience yesterday with a clear LFT... the prickly throat didn't come on until lunchtime and the LFT last night was clear. One LFT was positive this morning, another from a different pack clear... currently awaiting a PCR result...

Being vulnerable must suck but you have to manage your own risks and other people have their own choices to make. They can make all the "right choices" and while that improves the odds, it still won't guarentee safety anyway. It's frustrating if other people make different choices, but getting angry about it won't help anything. There are other chances to catch up (although I'm more than a little miffed to miss a relative's short visit to the UK when it's been more than two years already and the most rock and roll thing I've done all week is the food shopping...)

@CrabApple5

For Several reasons.Primarily putting my parents in the position in the first place. They were of a generation which was polite, loving and not wanting to cause offence.They do not know her the girlfriend well enough to have a frank discussion is about insisting lateral flow test before enter hou se. It was Me and my husband supposed to go to my folks today but because he heard and they want to treat us the same they invited him GF and child.Also he hasn't to my knowledge told his GF just how vulnerable i am to getting sick th virus.He's lovestruck. Had got engaged after 5 months and frankly his brain is in his trousers at the moment. Hope that answers your question?!

This is still laying blame on the wrong people - and being pretty bloody judgy about your brother. I assume you don’t like him much.

Your parents are grown adults capable of telling their own son that LFTs are required. They didn’t need to tell his girlfriend they don’t (yet) know, they only need to tell him. And they didn’t. They also invited him presumably to get to know his fiancé - she’s going to be part of your family now.

Your annoyance should be with them.

What’s stopping you talking directly to your brother and asking him about whether he’s let his fiancé know you’re vulnerable? As you don’t know her, perhaps she’s got a good reason to be unvaccinated. Perhaps she’d be happy to LFT.

Don’t blame the woman you don’t know whose crime seems to be living in London.
Blame your family dynamics that apparently make you all incapable of communicating properly.

Perhaps your brother is selfish - you seem convinced so I assume you’re basing that on what you know of him. But your parents are equally culpable here as they’ve chosen how to act, which inadvertently excludes you.