To find Christmas Day a bit dull with teens.

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Don’t get me wrong, thoughtful presents and their presence at Christmas lunch( which is over so quick) but the rest of the day they disappear and it’s just me and Dh. Could be any other day and it’s dull. Is that just the way it is?

All 3 of my teens have been awful again this year. As per last year.
Youngest teen woke up with an attitude yesterday and didn’t want to come to the theatre with family. Generally wasn’t interested in hanging with grandparents etc.

Elder two have taken it in turns to be all hormonal today. Eldest ds slept in til 12 and had made little effort with gifts, spent most of the day moping after his gf. Dd has had some kind of argument with her friend and didn’t want to watch the movie with us - at least ds’s did I guess.

Dh and I feel pissed off. I’m off to bed in tears again for another year.

Sending hugs to all those struggling with ungrateful stroppy teens.

Twobig try not to take it too personally. Three teenagers in the house is always stressful. And if they sense you're trying to make it a special family day they will often go out of their way to ruin it. I did as a teenage girl, I was awful. Looking back I dont know why I did it and I didn't even consider the effect it would have had on my parents. Yours will get pass this stage and when they're are adults I'm sure they will be grateful for the family traditions you have.

My 15 yo DS spent all day downstairs which was a surprise. Up about 9.30 then his dad came over. We opened presents, had brunch and chatted for a bit while DS fiddled about with presents then exh left. DS got the wii out for the first time in about 2 years and we had a laugh, then I started on the dinner, we walked the dog, I cooked and we ate and then DS played some more wii while I half watched him and looked on my ipad before he ventured upstairs to talk to friends about 9pm. We didn’t watch any telly. I though I would be alone much of the day but it wasn’t like that at all. I had a lovely day. I will see much less of him today depending on what his friends are up to, athough I am planning a longer dog walk this afternoon weather permitting and expect he will come on that. Future years I will expect to see less of him and if he is around more, it will be a bonus. He generally isn’t grumpy and there is just us most of the time so we don’t really argue. I am sure it is different with more children/family to consider and conflicting interests.

We have found Jackbox games a good way of getting teens to take part in a family activity. It's basically a load of games that you play on a TV, using your mobile phone as your personal "console". I think it's the fact that it's phone-based that makes them want to play it! The games are really fun, we like Drawful which is a bit like Pictionary.

It’s interesting to me that people see perfectly normal teenage behaviour as sad or unsociable. It’s great if teens enjoy family time but equally forcing them into it seems bizarre at an age they are almost adults.
I literally don’t know any teenager in real life who would play Lego under the Christmas tree!
Those of you who had an awful day- rest assured we had a couple of ropey ones over the years but 19 year old dd is an absolute delight now.

"It’s interesting to me that people see perfectly normal teenage behaviour as sad or unsociable. It’s great if teens enjoy family time but equally forcing them into it seems bizarre at an age they are almost adults.
I literally don’t know any teenager in real life who would play Lego under the Christmas tree!"

This ^ Dh's parents were like that but over everyday life and they could never accept he was an adult and growing up. They would persecute him for normal teen behaviour, it was awful and drove him away more.

My parents were a bit like this. I was treated like a child until I left home. My DM wouldn't buy me any clothes unless she'd chosen them herself (ie pinafore dresses and flowery leggings, things I wouldn't have been caught dead in at 15). My DF used to go in and tidy my bedroom for me at every opportunity so I never had any privacy. Never saw my friends during the school holidays etc.

They still, even now, spend every family get together reminiscing about my early childhood and retelling the same "adorable" anecdotes. I don't think they'll ever get over the fact that I grew up.

Now that I have DC of my own all the focus has moved to them. Me as an adult = not that interesting, basically!

One of my teens gave their dsis a Jackbox account. Our family rule is that we use our gifts immediately - wear the clothes, read out loud from the books, play the games etc - wherever possible. So we all got our phones out and had a wonderful time playing silly games for an hour. Films were chosen together, so they all wanted to watch them. It was a really nice day.

The only teen drawback was that it was only half a day, as it was noon before we could drag the last one out of bed so that we could start opening presents!

I literally don’t know any teenager in real life who would play Lego under the Christmas tree!

My 19yo asked for Lego this year, among other things, and joyfully built it over the course of the afternoon.

Clearly I have a non-standard family

My 28 year old ds would also play with Lego under the Christmas tree. He asks for it every year!

@babouchette

We have found Jackbox games a good way of getting teens to take part in a family activity. It's basically a load of games that you play on a TV, using your mobile phone as your personal "console". I think it's the fact that it's phone-based that makes them want to play it! The games are really fun, we like Drawful which is a bit like Pictionary.

We love Jackbox! It was a lifesaver during lockdown (played with another family via zoom).

@Grapewrath

It’s interesting to me that people see perfectly normal teenage behaviour as sad or unsociable. It’s great if teens enjoy family time but equally forcing them into it seems bizarre at an age they are almost adults. I literally don’t know any teenager in real life who would play Lego under the Christmas tree! Those of you who had an awful day- rest assured we had a couple of ropey ones over the years but 19 year old dd is an absolute delight now.

I agree with this. Part of being a teenager is doing your own thing!

God no! Yabu. This was the most relaxed Christmas I've ever had. Got up at 830. Light breakfast. Waited for teen ds's 18 and 16 to get up. Opened pressies. Went for a walk/pub crawl around our town. Played card games in each pub. Came home had Christmas lunch. Snooze on sofa. Dessert. Then grand tour on tv with us all. It's lovely to have us back as a 4 again with ds back from uni. I love the people they are becoming and the time spent just talking.

My older two are teens - still have a 7 year old

Christmas when they were all little was beyond exhausting. I much prefer it now and don't mind them disappearing to their room for spells.

We still have nice times together just not in each others pocket all the time

I actually really enjoyed it with DS.

First Christmas here without DD1, she has her own flat for three years but this year decided not to come to us so it was a strange day.

DS1 discovered his love of cooking, so we cooked Christmas dinner together yesterday. He is a much better cook than me, so I'm going to hand over Christmas dinner duties to him from now.

So anyway a different day in our houy, DD1 texted us on and off, DS1 and DD2 spent the whole day in our company. We watched TV, played Uno etc.

Today DD1 popped in on her way to work, once DD1 ( she's staying over tonight) and DD2 get home from we will be having Christmas day two.

The early teens stage to me is where they seem to think of themselves I know did, then late teens they get back into Christmas..