… and she wants next year to be better for you?
I’m probably just keeping this username until I’m done now, since I’ve only got five years left until I’m dust (crap diagnosis 1 Dec of five years left with a rare vasculitis-like condition, already one bleed on the brain, it’ll eventually take out all my veins, the end), but that means I’m an ideal person to get a message from the Ghost of your Christmas Future. She didn’t come for those who had perfect Christmases (sorry!). She’s here those who were on here today asking whether TABU to put up with abuse (at any age), if they’re allowed to escape it next year, even if it means leaving someone alone (at any age), if TABU to resent the stress and the travel and the fact that they can’t even enjoy their own Christmas, even in the non-abusive situations.
The scary ghost guy who played Christmas Future in Christmas Carol was on zero hours and lost the contract for shite customer service and this new Ghost of Christmas Future wants one thing: you to be happy next year. You to avoid the people who treat you badly, whether that person is your mother or your husband. You to be with the people who make you happy, and if you’d rather be alone, then that. Or just with your children, that, too. Yes, it’s too late for this year, but it’s not too late to start disentangling yourself from the people who hurt you during the next 12 months, putting yourself on the counseling list of you need help, talking to Womens Aid if you receive abuse from your husband on Christmas that carries over to every other day, even starting with a call to Samaritans if things very, very difficult right now.
But you are 100% allowed to have this mantra: I will never have a Christmas like this again. I control my Christmas now. No one will use pain, or abuse, or guilt, to take it from me.
You do not owe people your mental health just because they’re blood-related to you. It can be a hard thing to learn and a harder thing ti live, but sometimes you MUST, to save yourself. You cannot light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm, even if you’re a Yule log.
I personally only have five Christmases left, and my wish for this one is that all the people posting things that are hurting so much today, find ways by next Christmas to be out of those situations on December 25, 2022. That will be my fourth Christmas left. Even if it’s just spending a whole day with someone who makes snide comments about you, DON’T do it; you’re special, and you don’t deserve that. You’re no one’s doormat; you’re a viper.
So… wish upon a star.
Then have a [gin.]
Then come to MN for support on how to fix the problem. That’s what I did with mine, and I don’t know what kind of shape I’d be in if I hadn’t.
A very merry Christmas, you MN vipers.
YANBU - Damn right. I’m going to mentally flounce right out of here (even if I physically can’t) and not put up with this shite next year.
YABU - Wait, who? I should have eased up on Bucks Fizz