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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a really mean thing to do?

87 replies

ButY · 25/12/2021 14:35

Regular poster but name changed.

Not sure if I'm overreacting but feeling really hurt.

I have quite bad anxiety, so Christmas is always a tricky day to negotiate but I'd say I have it quite well under control. And i definitely appreciate that the day is about my kids, not my issues, so I try my best to keep a lid on it and stay calm.

I'd made it through present giving, breakfast, family walk, was upstairs getting changed, literally no clothes on. Suddenly hear loads of noise downstairs. Shout down what's wrong, no answer. Next thing I hear screaming and DS2 shouting "Oh my god, oh my god!" Then DS1 starts screaming "DS1! DS1! Omg DS1" and DH joins in also screaming. They sound totally terrified, so I literally have a panic attack on the spot. Grab my dressing gown, have never run downstairs so fast in my life thinking something awful happened to DS1.

To find them all screaming in the lounge and a huge crack on tv screen which we only got last year. Simultaneously relieved Ds1 alive and furious about tv, as I also suffer with OCD symptoms and find any damage / marks very upsetting. Must admit I swore. Then they all start laughing hysterically. It's some stupid app that makes a tv screen look cracked.

I burst into tears and ran upstairs. They are all still laughing. I felt actually sick when the adrenaline kicked in, my heart was pounding. DH couldnt understand why I was so upset and cross and keeps saying I must have been up to something upstairs that got me upset!

I just feel ganged up on and like it's a horrid trick to play on someone, let alone someone with anxiety. And on Christmas. AIBU?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 25/12/2021 15:52

How do I find this app? i would love to play this trick on my dh as our Tv screen ( new TV) got cracked a few months ago with a snooker cue. He would be furious if it happened again.
Sorry it upset you though op, they shouldn't have got you that worried.

VividImaginationAgain · 25/12/2021 15:58

YADNBU.

At best they were thoughtless. I would have panicked with all the screaming. It’s the type of prank we played on each other as students in the halls of residence. Even the most juvenile of us had grown out of it by the time we graduated.

Have a chill out for the rest of the day and let them organise everything.

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 25/12/2021 16:01

Really mean Flowers
I don't suffer from anxiety but family members do, and we try to be mindful; especially at a time like Christmas which can be intense anyway.

pigsDOfly · 25/12/2021 16:14

Surely the supposedly cracked tv screen isn't the problem here, that was just a side issue. It's the panicked screaming that would have kicked in OP's anxiety, so I don't really understand why some posters are saying it's funny.

The OP has anxiety, her DH knows this so to allow the children to scream as if some massive catastrophe has occurred is extremely cruel of him.

ddl1 · 25/12/2021 16:27

I am sorry that you had to deal with that! It was naughty of the kids, but children that age often do things without thinking. But dh definitely shouldn't have allowed it to happen,,

mam0918 · 25/12/2021 16:31

it's a bit of both... you are over-reacting, don't let this spoil your whole day because its only yourself it will hurt but also pranks are the lowest form of wit and usually just bullying so I get why you are annoyed.

butterpuffed · 25/12/2021 16:39

There is nothing in the OP that makes her sound difficult to live with. Horrible comment

It isn't a horrible comment from a pp when OP had already said 'I 100% know I'm difficult to live with'

Yummypumpkin · 25/12/2021 16:41

You want your children to stop being children and tiptoe round you?

How terribly sad.

You should apologise and explain.

I'm sure they won't do anything like that ever again.

heidbuttsupper · 25/12/2021 16:43

I think they have been quite cruel op. I am 37 but if I had did something like this to my parents, they would have been furious

WindyState · 25/12/2021 16:44

@Yummypumpkin

You want your children to stop being children and tiptoe round you?

How terribly sad.

You should apologise and explain.

I'm sure they won't do anything like that ever again.

WTAF? Why the fuck should the op apologise?

Depending on the age of the kids they might not have known better.

However the husband - presumably a grown man who is fully aware op has anxiety issues shouldn't have allowed it to happen in the first place, let alone playing along with it. The man is a dick.

WhatScratch · 25/12/2021 17:06

’ I have quite bad anxiety’

’I also suffer with OCD symptoms and find any damage / marks very upsetting.’

Christmas is stressful enough anyway. I’d excuse the DC because they’re too young to really get it but why on earth would a husband who knows you have anxiety and get very upset about damage encourage this?

SisyphusDad · 25/12/2021 17:13

Neurotypical? YWBU.

Anxiety and OCD? YANBU in the slightest. That's mean and not at all funny in the context.

SirGawain · 25/12/2021 17:35

YANBU I don't suffer with my mental health, but I hate stupid practical jokes. I don't find them at all funny and your family must be particularly stupid and insensitive. Some years ago a friend who was visiting us got a phonecall to say that her granddaughter was in hospital with suspected Meningitis. (Fortunatly it was a false alarm). Her first response to the caller was, "you're joking", if anybody joked with me about anything so serious they would be on the receiving end of some very harsh words.

KosherDill · 25/12/2021 17:36

Yanbu

KosherDill · 25/12/2021 17:38

@Yummypumpkin

You want your children to stop being children and tiptoe round you?

How terribly sad.

You should apologise and explain.

I'm sure they won't do anything like that ever again.

If refraining from mean practical "jokes" equals tiptoeing, then yes, it's about time they learn to tiptoe.
EmmasMum12 · 25/12/2021 17:42

It's such a shame that your family don't understand who you are and love you for who you are. And it's such a shame that your family don't treat you with kindness and empathy because of and despite who you are.

Sending you so much love and loads of hugs Flowers

phishy · 25/12/2021 17:46

YANBU, sounds like they picked on you because they knew you would react with panic and fear due to your anxiety.

Ignore the lot of the fuckers.

phishy · 25/12/2021 17:47

@Yummypumpkin

You want your children to stop being children and tiptoe round you?

How terribly sad.

You should apologise and explain.

I'm sure they won't do anything like that ever again.

Apologise for what? For them scaring the shit out of her?

What a daft post.

billy1966 · 25/12/2021 17:52

@WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia

A joke that makes you think your child is injured or dead is not fucking funny. I’d have been imagining a bloodbath after all that screaming. How's that funny?

This.

Your husband is an insensitive dickhead

This.

The thought of someone injured is terrifying and that level of screaming would be shocking.

I don't have anxiety or OCD.

Your husband is a real twat to trigger such upset.

Not impressed.

Yummypumpkin · 25/12/2021 17:52

My point is that young children should learn empathy but not have to tiptoe around a parent's mental struggles, or be made to feel in the wrong when this prank is all over TikTok and friends and others haven't had this reaction.

It was what it was but yes I think OP should clarify to children they haven't done anything wrong.

I'm not going to prioritise the emotions of a grown woman over little children who meant no harm.

Co

lap90 · 25/12/2021 17:55

If they know what you're like then yes, it was a poor thing to do.

EmmasMum12 · 25/12/2021 18:00

@yummy the children meant to scare ....more.... they meant to terrify a human being with MH issues.

Apologise to the kids? Because its on fucking tiktok and not everyone would react like the OP?

Grow up 🤣

Blossom64265 · 25/12/2021 18:02

That kind of joke isn’t funny.

If a joke involves the group ganging up at the expense of one member, odds are that it isn’t going to go well.

SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 25/12/2021 18:04

@Yummypumpkin

You want your children to stop being children and tiptoe round you?

How terribly sad.

You should apologise and explain.

I'm sure they won't do anything like that ever again.

I agree. That's everyone walking on eggshells tonight because of OP and her massive overreaction.
WindyState · 25/12/2021 18:06

@Yummypumpkin

My point is that young children should learn empathy but not have to tiptoe around a parent's mental struggles, or be made to feel in the wrong when this prank is all over TikTok and friends and others haven't had this reaction.

It was what it was but yes I think OP should clarify to children they haven't done anything wrong.

I'm not going to prioritise the emotions of a grown woman over little children who meant no harm.

Co

So, just to clarify, the op's kids and dh pulled a stupid prank on her which made her cry, and you think she should be apologising to them? Do you think people who get punched in the face should apologise if the assailant hurts their hand?