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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My bloody mother

55 replies

Cockwomblingfree · 25/12/2021 10:47

My darling mother. I could start other threads about her awful abusive behaviour, selfish bullshit and DARVO that have gone on through my entire life but today its just a Christmas rant.

I had a childhood of battlefield bigamists Christmases, grew up hating the season and ditched doing it when I was about 18. Since having DC I do Christmas and its a merry time. This year, I have invited my DM for lunch, and after years of her spending it with my cowbag cousin & her closeted DH she said yes so is coming here. She can drive but refuses to (because of Covid Hmm) so my lovely DH is driving a 100+ mile round trip to get her, and I will take her home this evening.

We are all vaccinated. Everyone at my house have taken LFTs all week, ahead of her visit because she is terrified of Covid. We are all clear. My DM has been grocery shopping, to see family, the hairdressers, went to a party at a neighbours yesterday so I asked her to take an LFT, she said fine, she has them in her house but hasn't done one before.

I've just called her to let her know DH is on his way and she hasn't taken a test. She refuses. She has boxes of them but wont use them. She says it will make her gag & she doesn't like it (awww diddums). She says she feels fine and the neighbour is a doctor so won't have covid HmmHmm.

DH hasn't seen his own DM in over a year, he's supposed to drive 300 miles on Boxing Day to visit her. DC birthday is later this week. If DH is sick our livelihood is in jeopardy, while DM is retired. My Darling mother doesn't give a shit about any of that, its all about her. As fucking always. Nobody else in the world matters at all.

She says she feels fine, won't take the test and is now refusing to come if I insist. The food is done, I've bought her a gift to unwrap (she won't have got me anything, she never does). She doesn't give a fuck does she? DH is almost at her house. WIBU to phone the selfish obstinate cow and tell her to just take 2 minutes out of her life to do a tiny fucking test or spend Christmas on her bloody own?

OP posts:
Cockwomblingfree · 25/12/2021 13:20

it was a joint decision to invite her, then travel to see MiL afterwards. But when it came to DH's mum who he hasn't seen in ages his opinion counted more than mine so yes his call.

All dealt with now anyway. Until she sees the sprouts (hers always boiled to mush, mine fried with bacon) GrinGrinGrin

Merry Christmas & thanks, everyone.

Cheers 🥂🎄

OP posts:
ThreeLocusts · 25/12/2021 13:32

Your sprouts sound delicious. I just spent three hours decluttering at my mum's, who tends to hoard... solidarity, and merry Chrismas!

ThinWomansBrain · 25/12/2021 13:43

my throat and nose lateral flow tests say you can do nasal only if you can't do throat swabs.
I think they meant for children mostly, but same principal.

hope it goes smoothly - and having to chew a brussel sprout doesn't choke her Xmas Grin

Cockwomblingfree · 25/12/2021 13:54

@Clarice99, @ThreeLocusts and everyone else whose been through this with abusive parents and lived to tell the tale, come through therapy, have damaged lives but hopefully come out stronger, love and merry Christmas to you all x

and no next year I'm going to go skiing! (covid restrictions permitting). decision made.

OP posts:
Q1w2e3 · 25/12/2021 14:07

I think I have a crush on your husband! Hope you have a lovely Christmas day.

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