To be bloody loving my first Christmas as a single parent?

[MsJaneAusten]

This is the first year with just me and my two DSes. We had a lovely afternoon watching Encanto and eating pizza; food is all prepped for tomorrow; presents were wrapped weeks ago without any arguments; I’m drinking Prosecco and feeling slightly smug.

I haven’t yet decided if being the only adult in the house to eat ‘Santa’s snacks’ is a good or bad thing, but on balance, I feel like I’m winning.

Hmmmm. I fear this is more a stealth boast than an AIBU. Meh. Nevermind.

Here too.

I spent my first 2 Xmases as a single parent feeling so guilty at breaking up the family home and desperate for the kids to have a good time (left abusive marriage). Put far too much pressure on dcs and me.

This year, despite some abuse from exh on Xmas eve, we had a lovely, easy, peaceful time. DCs so happy. Am curled up by the fire meeting, while teen DS is next to me on new laptop and Dd upstairs sorting out her presents.

Thanks op. And to anyone else - you can do this.

Technically I was single last year but my ex hadn’t moved out yet so he was still here for Christmas.

He always cooked Christmas dinner so I was really nervous about doing a turkey myself this year but it turned out lovely!

DS had a great time opening his presents here, although he is still a bit confused by the whole thing as he’s only 23months old. Then his dad had him for 2 hours so he could open presents there.

My ex even bought me some presents, despite me saying I was only buying for kids this year because of finances. Honestly my first instinct was to be suspicious 😂

Really the only downside to today is that DS got overexcited and tired himself out at 5:30, so he fell asleep early and I’m now stuck laying in bed next to him trying to get him back to sleep. He never sleeps well when he falls asleep early. I hope I’m not stuck here all night!

First Xmas as a single parent here too and I'm loving it. No simmering tension, no worrying about other adults napping and my DC making 'too much noise' just relaxing, chilling and doing whatever we want. Xmas lunch was leftover takeaway from last night and it was amazing lol

Last year I was single but still trying to do the family thing and it was hell.

I've just filed for divorce. Literally just done it and now watching Christmas strictly on iplayer.

Can't wait to be single by next Christmas!!

Have been doing the single mum Christmas for a while now and I still enjoy the feeling of peace and contentment and lack of anxiety being on my own brings. One of my favourite things is that my exDH used to refuse to ‘allow us’ to have a real tree. The first Christmas without him, me and my DC bought the hugest real tree we could find and have done so every year since!

@ILoveAnOwl

I've just filed for divorce. Literally just done it and now watching Christmas strictly on iplayer.

Can't wait to be single by next Christmas!!

Well done! Can I be the first to wish you a very Merry Christmas 2022!!

I'm here with you! First year since we split 3 years ago there hasn't been an ounce of drama. He's no where to be seen and its wonderful! I've done it all by myself and I'm so proud watching the children play with their toys I worked so hard for! I worked Xmas afternoon and the kids had a blast with my Mum and I had no arsey comments about how could I leave my kids Xmas day and I've just loved every second.

Checking in to report another lovely day. It's take quite a while for me to feel myself again (years of post divorce MH issues), but in the last 6 months I've felt hope, optimism and excitement about the future.

[fist pump to all you amazing women and Mums]

@ILoveAnOwl oh well done! I'll be joining you in the new year.

Thanks for this thread. It's really reminded me of what I don't miss. 4 yrs in and I do sometimes get lonely at night. Not that often though! But yesterday we had a lovely relaxing day, dc playing games, watching TV, using their tablet. Stayed in pjs til 4pm then did a quick family visit. There was a little but of stress but that was to be expected with 2 x hyped DC, but I've realised it's not a patch on how hideous the day would have been before.

Sounds bliss

What happens next year? Will it be his turn. Will you be alone? Asking for a friend 🥺

I’m not sure yet @sherryoclock, but if I am alone, it will still be better than being with ExH. It’s been interesting to see how my attitude to that has changed. I obviously miss the DC when they’re not here, but I also really appreciate the time tk myself.

If the current contact "pattern" carries on to next Christmas, my DCwill be due to go to their dad's Christmas day. I'm not sure if that will actually happen or not. I would never prevent it, but he lives with his parents and they are all very low key. They don't really "do" celebrations. I just can't see it happening,but I'd it does, fine. I'll have a quiet one and do our Christmas day on boxing day.