To be bloody loving my first Christmas as a single parent?

[MsJaneAusten]

This is the first year with just me and my two DSes. We had a lovely afternoon watching Encanto and eating pizza; food is all prepped for tomorrow; presents were wrapped weeks ago without any arguments; I’m drinking Prosecco and feeling slightly smug.

I haven’t yet decided if being the only adult in the house to eat ‘Santa’s snacks’ is a good or bad thing, but on balance, I feel like I’m winning.

Hmmmm. I fear this is more a stealth boast than an AIBU. Meh. Nevermind.

This is my third Christmas as a single parent of 3 and I wouldn’t trade back for the world.

What a lovely thread OP.

Inspiring stories, every one.

Wishing everyone of you a wonderful day with your families.

What a lovely thread, well done to you all and merry Christmas 🎅

Merry Christmas to everyone, hope you all have a lovely day.

Cheers OP. This my 4tg, DC are still you and were babies when I first became single. I feel like I've done a good job. And as you say, no arguments. And in my case, no stress, unpleasantness walking on eggshells, silent treatment, manipulation.....

I'm not even cooking, we're off to my parents later.

Enjoy OP. Also a single parent (6th year) and they've been the best for me and my fabulous boys. No miserable fucker to suck the joy out of everything or ruin plans.

Me too!

Bloody lovely isn't it?

And it gets better!

My first Xmas as a single mum was almost 20 years ago

It was a little tricky in some ways at first but you get into a rhythm and make your own traditions

Good for you!

Enjoy!

Same here as a single parent. Except I haven’t got my children as with their dad. BUT. I’m still in bed snuggling with my dogs. Drinking endless Lady Grey listening time mellow Christmas music.

Can’t remember r last time I didn’t have anything to get up ready for.

Mums for Christmas dinner.
Honestly blissful.

I’m having a little cry reading this. Im so glad I started the thread and you shared your stories. We’ve all come so far. Go us!!!

(And @ILoveAnOwl and anyone else who needs to read it, the grass really is greener… )

We’ve had a lovely calm morning, chocolate for breakfast, there’s wrapping paper everywhere, far more presents than I was ‘allowed’ to buy in the past, kids are having some screen time (because it’s what they want to do, not what society expects them to do) and I’ve had lots of “I love you mum” and even a kiss off one of them.

@damnthisvirusandmarriage - I’m expecting to be on my own next Christmas. Pre-separation, that thought horrified me. Now, I don’t think I’ll mind. The quality time I get with the dc the rest of the year is so much better than it used to be that Christmas alone will be fine. I hope you have a lovely relaxing day x

Happy Christmas ❤️

I hear you, OP. Seven years ago, I was existing through another awful Christmas with my exH and his alcohol and anger problems. He left six months later,and our Christmases since then have just been getting better and better.

@ILoveAnOwl I know it’s emotional but please take heart from my story.

This is the 10th Christmas since I divorced. I have three children.

I’ve just FaceTimed at their dad’s (it’s his turn for Christmas this year, we alternate) and they’re having a blast. Everyone is happy and content, he’s a good dad (was just a shit husband) and makes an effort for them.

When they come back to me on Monday we’ll have our Christmas, and they don’t seem too traumatised at having two Christmasses!

We both, as parents, make an effort and make it special in our own ways. There’s no animosity or snide comments about the other parent, we accept and acknowledge the effort each other makes and try and make it as lovely as it can be for our children. Don’t get me wrong, after we split I could happily have poisoned his portion of Christmas dinner but time eases the pain and now we coparent well.

Your kids will be fine. And you will be too.

All you single mums are queens - and trust me it’s far easier doing it all alone than with a useless partner.

Also a single parent. Having a lovely Christmas with my gorgeous DC. Looking back, I can't remember one Xmas when ex didn't pick a fight (with me or relatives) - deliberately unpleasant and make announcements "it's not Xmas without a family fallout" - well screw that. So glad and grateful for my little happy home.

I hear you! This is my 4th single parent Christmas and I have a house full - my two kids, the one I fostered the year after my husband died and my foster son't DP. They're all over 18 and adorable. I have cats, we have done presents, two of them are rocking out to odd TikTok sounds and we're having a blast.

Every Christmas I take a moment to remember our last Christmas with the kids' dad in the house - he wrecked it with his miserable drunken behaviour and topped it off on December 28th by threatening to kill me and then being taken away by the police. Every Christmas since has been a joy.

Merry Christmas. Last Christmas was fraught with anxiety as we’d already seperated but still in same house. Kids didn’t know.

This Christmas we’re in a new house, Santa has been. We’ve watched home alone 1 and 2, giggled, had a pillow fight, opened pressies and are now getting ready to go out. So much more fun and relaxing than previous years.

Ladies who are in doubt, just rip off that plaster x

Place marking for later. Huge high 5 yo the op and all the single parents feeling liberated today!

Best thread I've read this Christmas, cheers to all of you! 🥂

Hi everyone! Also my first as a single parent. I was so miserable last year knowing the discussion had to be had. We are very amicable for the children and have tried to make everything as painless as possible. We had a lovely Christmas Eve together and opened the presents calmly and happily today. I dropped them at their Dad’s and did some volunteering for a few hours. I’ve always wanted to do that. Despite some lovely invitations to see friends, I just had some treats and snoozed on the sofa. Looking forward to a walk with friends tomorrow, then a James Bond fest with cheese afterwards. Kids will be back on Monday for a panto. Sad that things couldn’t be saved but our new life is every bit as good. And two unhappy people have a chance to change and find new happiness.

I tell you what I don't miss..
Having a second player that is a useless lump of shite.
I'm alone, I know I have to do everything, so I do everything. Far prefer it to having a second person I expect to help, that doesn't help, or does help but in a way that makes me more work in the long run.

I’m just back from visiting my parents. All calm and lovely still. Why oh why didn’t I do this years ago?!

Heres to all the single parents creating happy memories and a beautiful way of life for themselves and their children.

Joining the single mama's party. First year for me after I got rid over the summer. Despite me being poorly with Covid it's probably been one of the nicest Christmas' in recent years. Hopefully next year we'll get a proper family Christmas with my parents

The thrill of not tip toeing around a hungover, drinking, critical and spoiling for a fight ex. It never lessens.
Joy and peace to us all xx

Can I add letting the kids watch all the trash tv they like without someone making passive aggressive comments throughout and saying 'ugh arnt I allowed an opinion.....' if challenged.