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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think WTF

47 replies

RoastedParsnips · 24/12/2021 22:22

It's a DH and Christmas rant.

Currently 10:20 and I'm wrapping presents for DC and HIS FAMILY that I also purchased because he couldn't be bothered.
Tomorrow we're spending it with mil and BIL all good and dandy but it's the fourth year running I've missed on spending Christmas with my own family.
I love Christmas with my family, it's lovely drinks flow, everyone's happy telling tales and jokes, the kids are happy, the foods good etc and his family are just so not in the spirit of things?
It's really ruined my Christmas mood. I can't go see my family at all as they're to far away and I can't drive that far and he knows it and he knows I'm missing my family and only doing Christmas for the dc and he's just not making a damn bit of effort.
Please tell me it's not just my DH, he's usually brilliant but Christmas just always seems to be down to me. I hate it. I'm in such a bad mood and he can't seem to figure out why. Still got to clean up after I've finished wrapping! Sad

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 24/12/2021 22:23

Is he actually normally brilliant?
Why couldn't you spend it with your family this year?

Freddiefox · 24/12/2021 22:25

Well stop, give him the presents and the paper and go to bed

JoyOrbison · 24/12/2021 22:25

Why can't you arrange that you go to your parents next year, or they come to you? Plus tell your dh he nerds to sort his family presents out!

justthecat · 24/12/2021 22:26

Stay at home let him go

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/12/2021 22:27

Don’t wrap the stuff for his family. Why would you? Has he have working hands?

If you’re wrapping he can clear up.

Too late now but not seeing your family doesn’t mean you have to see his. It’s perfectly normal to just be at home.

Other people having shit husbands won’t honestly make you feel better about yours.

AZFell · 24/12/2021 22:28

I don't buy for dh's family - that's for him to sort. If they get nothing, it's not my problem.

I think you should get yourself some driving lessons and build up your confidence so you can drive however far you need to so you can have the Christmas you want.

Rainbowqueeen · 24/12/2021 22:30

Next Christmas needs to be with your family. You have a year to work out how to make that happen - get started now

It’s tough and a bit of empathy from him would go a long way. Let him know how you feel

PotatoOfTheNight · 24/12/2021 22:34

Please tell me it's not just my DH, he's usually brilliant but Christmas just always seems to be down to me. I hate it. I'm in such a bad mood and he can't seem to figure out why

No sorry, you're being a mugged off.

DogsandCatsB4u · 24/12/2021 22:38

I would just leave to drive to see my family even if it’s 4/5hours

WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 24/12/2021 22:40

He’s a selfish prick. You need to tell him why you’re upset, otherwise nothing will change.

QuestionNumberOne · 24/12/2021 22:40

Stop wrapping, tell him he’ll need to finish it, go to bed.

Sorry OP. I can’t see how someone who is ‘normally brilliant’ would suddenly become lazy, selfish and thoughtless.

Hope you have some lovely Christmassy moments despite it all Xmas Smile

dustofneptune · 24/12/2021 22:42

Are you communicating with him about this at all?

You say you're in a bad mood and he can't figure out why. Why aren't you telling him?

How far away are your family, and why can't you drive that far?

Have you ever asked to do one year with your family, one year with his?

It sucks to not be where you want to be at Christmas. I totally get that. I've been through it myself. But just had to communicate and come to a compromise that worked for both of us?

SmallElephant · 24/12/2021 22:43

It's not fair for you to miss out on your family for four years in a row Sad

Paddingtonthebear · 24/12/2021 22:44

Why are you doing it every year?! Be more assertive!

CatNamedEaster · 24/12/2021 22:54

Why is it four years running with his family? Is it actually likely that someone normally brilliant loses the ability to be brilliant at Christmas, or is it that there is never another time in the year that needs so much organising so the lack of brilliance is acceptable?

I told DH I wasn't doing anything for his family two years ago and I refuse to feel bad when he misses their birthdays or doesn't buy nice presents. I can't imagine him ever feeling responsible for making sure my best mate or brother have presents so I don't give any thought to 'his' presents or cards either. First year he didn't bother, this year he sent all his cards on time....amazing.Smile

Christmascakecakecheese · 24/12/2021 22:56

I do the wrapping for my partner's family's presents but I don't mind doing it, I have more time off over Christmas than he does. If I didn't want to he'd do it himself.

phishy · 24/12/2021 22:56

He’s a dickhead. DH has bought all presents for his family and wrapped them and even bought a couple for my family.

He would also drive me anywhere and waits in the car for me.

However, I do drive so I don’t rely on DH.

You need to learn to drive (if you can afford to) because this man is taking advantage of you dependent on him.

At the very least STOP buying and wrapping Christmas presents for his family. It’s not your job!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 24/12/2021 22:59

Is he really "usually brilliant"? Because he sounds a bit shit. As if he thinks you should just run around sorting Christmas (even for his family) because you happen to be the one with a vagina.

MyOtherProfile · 24/12/2021 22:59

Why do you always go to his family and not yours?

N4ish · 24/12/2021 23:01

Have to ask yourself why you’re doing this? I’m sure your DH is a grown man and more than capable of choosing and wrapping presents for his own family. Put down the wrapping paper and step away!

2020nymph · 24/12/2021 23:05

@CatNamedEaster

Why is it four years running with his family? Is it actually likely that someone normally brilliant loses the ability to be brilliant at Christmas, or is it that there is never another time in the year that needs so much organising so the lack of brilliance is acceptable?

I told DH I wasn't doing anything for his family two years ago and I refuse to feel bad when he misses their birthdays or doesn't buy nice presents. I can't imagine him ever feeling responsible for making sure my best mate or brother have presents so I don't give any thought to 'his' presents or cards either. First year he didn't bother, this year he sent all his cards on time....amazing.Smile

I told DH in November that his family presents are up to him, reminded him a couple of times. He said on Saturday he might need some help. My response was 'who is he going to ask?'

They've all got gift vouchers, arrived yesterday.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 24/12/2021 23:08

Stop being a martyr and just give him his gifts to wrap.

noworklifebalance · 24/12/2021 23:08

Stop being a martyr!!
Stop enabling this behaviour.

It’s so bloody frustrating reading, hearing listening to this constantly.

Datsandcogs · 24/12/2021 23:10

That doesn’t sound good. You need to change your relationship. Does he have any redeeming features? Stop buying for HIS family. It’s your turn next year, if he won’t drive then get there without him. Should you even be with such a selfish man?

WouldBeGood · 24/12/2021 23:11

Why can’t you drive that far?